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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

aibu so sad about christmas

92 replies

hottea7 · 27/11/2013 21:42

So a long story short 3 weeks ago my husband was involved in a rta and knocked off his bike cycling home from work, he suffered severe bruising and whiplashhe cannit work and is self employed, we hsve no money nothing. All our meagre savings have paid the bills. We have 6 small children and christmas is 4 weeks away, he is very down and does not think he will be able to return any time soon, I know I should have savedfor a rainy day but life juxt happened I xuppose I just honestly dont know what to do, I have about £100 left how iamgoing to afford food shopping for a family of 8 let alone christmas aibu to be so fucking sad for my lovely children?

OP posts:
ICameOnTheJitney · 27/11/2013 21:45

So sorry. Sad You can and WILL make this Christmas special. There are crisis loans available from the DSS....you can apply now...someone will come along with more advice but as for gifts, how old is your oldest and how small is your littlest? Have you got any benefits sorted out?

ICameOnTheJitney · 27/11/2013 21:48

Also, do you have any family to help?

WorraLiberty · 27/11/2013 21:52

Is he not insured?

gordyslovesheep · 27/11/2013 21:53

can you take a mortgage break, claim benefits while he is ill - CTC and CB with 6 kids would be significant

CaptainSweatPants · 27/11/2013 21:54

Could you work if he's at home? Seasonal work, care home work desperate for people atm

Lcbirdy · 27/11/2013 21:55

Does school know? We have had a family I. A similar situation. We made damn sure that each child in that family had something to open on Christmas Day.

Good luck- I hope that things start looking up soon.

soverylucky · 27/11/2013 21:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CaptainSweatPants · 27/11/2013 21:56

How old are your 6 kids? They won't mind what you get
Pound stretcher do loads of nice stuff for stockings
Can someone invite you for the actual meal?

annielouisa · 27/11/2013 21:56

It is horroble struggling like this I feel for you. I would contact somewhere like the Salvation Army or WRVS in our area both these organisations have alot of new donated new toys and honestly explain your plight.

Are the children old enough to get involved in making decorations or homemade goodies?

queenebay · 27/11/2013 21:57

Salvation Army will help. Look them up

dementedma · 27/11/2013 21:57

Oh dear. What family do you have?
Salvation army can help with gifts.
Food bank for help with food?

ICameOnTheJitney · 27/11/2013 21:58

Worra if he was she wouldn't be here saying what she's saying would she. Stupid question. And OP has posted quite a bit in the past too before anyone asks.

elliegoulding · 27/11/2013 21:58

I thought you were going to say your OH had been killed in the RTA Sad this is a short period in your lives, even if your dc only have couple of bits from Poundland, celebrate the fact you are all together.

practically there is lots of seasonal work about Thanks

Original poster
hottea7 · 27/11/2013 21:58

Thank you, we are waiting to hear back about emplyment support allowence but the back log is 3 weeks. I did not know about crisis loans I will have to try and find out. No insurance such a fucking idiot!

OP posts:
Headwallbanging · 27/11/2013 21:59

Better to be informed but crisis loans have been stopped, apply for a budgeting loan asap, takes around 3 weeks. Ask for £900 - they'll offer £812, tick anything - home improvement, new furniture, whatever.

Where are you, maybe a MNetter can help?

soverylucky · 27/11/2013 21:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SkullyAndBones · 27/11/2013 21:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

gobbynorthernbird · 27/11/2013 22:01

6 DC and no emergency fund? That is unreasonable.

ICameOnTheJitney · 27/11/2013 22:01

official info about crisis loans in the meantime, tomorrow come back here and I will help you to find places to help with food and gifts. The Salvation Army DO indeed help...they are wonderful and won't intrude or make you feel bad or anything....there are other places too. Please stay cheerful...it's your job to be the glue now. Hard it is but you can make a wonderful Christmas on very little. The children...the older ones should be told something of the situation and the pressure will ease for you re providing loads of toys.

AdmiralData · 27/11/2013 22:03

Social services helped my mum one year by giving my sister andI a bag of bits and pieces to open, theymay still do that x

Original poster
hottea7 · 27/11/2013 22:03

I know your all right we are still together he could have been killed, itsnot about the gifts its just so hard, they are 11,8,6,3,2, and 18 weeks (still breastfeeding the baby)

OP posts:
SkullyAndBones · 27/11/2013 22:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

jacks365 · 27/11/2013 22:13

You won't qualify for a budgeting loan I'm afraid as you need to be on certain benefits for 26 weeks to qualify. Speak to social services to get a referred to a food bank they may also be able to put you Iin touch with organisations providing presents for children at Christmas. Your local church may also help ours provides the essentials for a Christmas dinner for people in your position. Good luck with getting things sorted

dementedma · 27/11/2013 22:15

The 3 little ones will be fine with bits and bobs.tell the nursery/school what has happened and see what they can give in the way of books, crayons etc.
Don't know if you are a long term poster - sorry -but if genuine then MN Santa will come to the rescue.
Where are your and dhs family?

ICameOnTheJitney · 27/11/2013 22:15

Jack do tax credits count in those benefits? OP I think it's best to enquire yourself so you know for certain.

Where in the country are you OP?