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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

aibu so sad about christmas

92 replies

hottea7 · 27/11/2013 21:42

So a long story short 3 weeks ago my husband was involved in a rta and knocked off his bike cycling home from work, he suffered severe bruising and whiplashhe cannit work and is self employed, we hsve no money nothing. All our meagre savings have paid the bills. We have 6 small children and christmas is 4 weeks away, he is very down and does not think he will be able to return any time soon, I know I should have savedfor a rainy day but life juxt happened I xuppose I just honestly dont know what to do, I have about £100 left how iamgoing to afford food shopping for a family of 8 let alone christmas aibu to be so fucking sad for my lovely children?

OP posts:
Original poster
hottea7 · 27/11/2013 22:15

He is a forester cutting down trees with chainsaws dragging them out the forest that sort of thing, all but my eldest think father christmas is real, I have to put a smile on it I just feel so bloody sad, but thank you for all your advice

OP posts:
dementedma · 27/11/2013 22:15

The 3 little ones will be fine with bits and bobs.tell the nursery/school what has happened and see what they can give in the way of books, crayons etc.
Don't know if you are a long term poster - sorry -but if genuine then MN Santa will come to the rescue.
Where are your and dhs family?

gordyslovesheep · 27/11/2013 22:15

if you have a pondland near you they have some nice things in - playdo type stuff, colouring books, pens, books and stuffies

Tee2072 · 27/11/2013 22:16

Stop worrying about Christmas and start worrying about how to plan so you're never in this position again.

Christmas is once a year. The kids will get over it.

gordyslovesheep · 27/11/2013 22:18

here www.poundland.co.uk/great-ideas/christmas-brochure/ Father Christmas has been there a few times so far for my 3 - lots of 1D stuff and stationary for my big 2 and toys for the little one x

jacks365 · 27/11/2013 22:20

www.gov.uk/budgeting-loans/eligibility

Jitney no tax credits don't class. Income support, income based jsa, income based esa or pension credit. They are really limited. The help available has really shifted away from government to charities but getting into the charities can be hard.

jacks365 · 27/11/2013 22:21

www.gov.uk/budgeting-loans/eligibility

Forgot to tick the box.

ICameOnTheJitney · 27/11/2013 22:24

Tee all very well for you to say that. She has had a bad time and can think about both.

Demented yes she is.

Original poster
hottea7 · 27/11/2013 22:28

Thank gou for that link jacks unfortunately we do not qualify, its in myhead this 'perfect christmas' I knew I was being slightly unreasonable, we are in the midlands and i have my mum close by. Tomorrow I will try and stop wallowing and be proactive

OP posts:
Tee2072 · 27/11/2013 22:29
Hmm
Helpyourself · 27/11/2013 22:29

It might be worth calling one of those grin ambulance chasing no few no win firms. I have no experience of them- Hampson Hughes? I'd call round a few and not accept any offers until you've had a few to compare.

Helpyourself · 27/11/2013 22:30

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BiscuitMillionaire · 27/11/2013 22:30

Is he up to looking after the DCs while you get a temporary Christmas job in a shop? Is that possible in your area? I know you're breastfeeding, would you be able to express for daytime feeds?
Hope life gets easier for you.

usualsuspect · 27/11/2013 22:33

Will your mum help you out?

TooOldForGlitter · 27/11/2013 22:33

OP don't be disheartend. Check the website of your local council, there will be loads of free events you can attend that the kids will enjoy, light switch-ons, santa visits in local park, free craft workshops etc. Check out the pound shops for younger kids, they don't care if its plastic tat or glittery stick n do bits. Stock up on cheap crackers, paper chains, some tinsel from £ shop will festive their bedrooms up. Visit your local food bank if you can.

WorraLiberty · 27/11/2013 22:34

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usualsuspect · 27/11/2013 22:34

Can he claim anything?

Have you rang the benefits office?

specialsubject · 27/11/2013 22:37

sorry about your husband, I was THAT close to losing mine to a careless driver and am glad it has not happened to you either. Count your blessings.

Retailmas really doesn't matter. No child ever starved or froze for lack of Christmas presents. Forget Christmas, the youngest won't know and the older ones will just have to learn a bit of reality. Anyway presumably you have decorations etc so things can still look festive?

please get on to the appropriate authorities ASAP for all the benefits to which you are entitled. If there is any family tell them that it is a no-present year - and with six kids, suggest it continues.

good luck.

TooOldForGlitter · 27/11/2013 22:38

If you can, buy some iceland or any supermarket frozen chicken breasts, very good value and you can defrost them Christmas eve, have with some roast potatoes from local market if you have one, add a bit cheap veg, be it a tin of peas n carrots or frozen sprouts, splash of gravy and you are away! Better than dry turkey!

Mumsyblouse · 27/11/2013 22:38

I agree the order of action is:

  1. Check if your husband had insurance, surely he did if he was doing forestry work then check if it covers him at all for illness/injury
  1. Get to a benefit office/over the phone advice and get yourself in the system, even if you get very little to start with, you will eventually be entitled to benefits

www.turn2us.org.uk/information__resources/benefits/working_or_looking_for_work/self_employment.aspx

  1. Then have a cheapo Christmas like lots of us- Santa is also going to Poundland and the 99p shop in our house and we are still going to have a fun time
WorraLiberty · 27/11/2013 22:40

Also OP, check your home insurance policy.

Some of them cover this sort of thing as an extra...as do some bank accounts so it might be worth checking those too.

SkullyAndBones · 27/11/2013 22:41

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Chottie · 27/11/2013 22:42

There has been lots of good advice, please contact the CAB so you find out what you entitled too. Someone said you need to be the 'glue' for your family and that is right. Please speak to your local church and your children's schools, if people don't know what has happened, they can't help you.

Your husband sounds quite low at the moment, is he having any treatment or physio?

I promise you, that although this is a difficult time, it will pass Thanks

HappyMummyOfOne · 27/11/2013 22:42

You could swap roles and pick up temporary christmas work whilst he stays home.

Tax credits and CB alone for six children will be a decent amount, certainly enough to buy food.

Christmas is one day, you need to look at what would happen if he had a long term illness as with such a large family its simply daft to not have any backup.

wannabedomesticgoddess · 27/11/2013 22:43

Severe bruising and whiplash sounds nasty, but can he really not get back to work soon? He has no broken bones and needs must, especially as an uninsured self employed!!

I agree about claiming all you are eligible for, but tbh, by the time the benefits are all sorted he could have been back to work already.