aibu so sad about christmas

[hottea7]

So a long story short 3 weeks ago my husband was involved in a rta and knocked off his bike cycling home from work, he suffered severe bruising and whiplashhe cannit work and is self employed, we hsve no money nothing. All our meagre savings have paid the bills. We have 6 small children and christmas is 4 weeks away, he is very down and does not think he will be able to return any time soon, I know I should have savedfor a rainy day but life juxt happened I xuppose I just honestly dont know what to do, I have about £100 left how iamgoing to afford food shopping for a family of 8 let alone christmas aibu to be so fucking sad for my lovely children?

the toy shop entertainer, have loads of Santa christmas activity packs for a pound!!!!

Facebook has lots of local selling sites and childrens bits are v cheap, ours allows you to put wanted up and the price you can afford to pay for the item, also it means if you want to get some cash fast if you can identify some stuff you can sell.
The 3 youngest you will get away with recycling older siblings stuff or not bothering for the baby. The oldest will notice but as you say they are beyond Father Christmas, so just get them on board to keep quiet.
Check all your loyalty cards, I this very eve checked mine and discovered I had £31 on tesco, a £5 voucher was about to expire on the 30th of this month, I discovered that they can be doubled up on certain items, which is most of their stuff as fair as I can see.
Check all your sofas and car if you have one.
Check all your bank accounts I was once on my uppers and had £60 to last 5 weeks, I thought even the odd £2-3 pounds will count at this point, I discovered £2600 in an account (not suggesting you would be this lucky) but I also found other amounts varying from 5p to £15
Spend time
Making decorations out of rubbish around your home, eat any food you have in stock to save on groceries, you will have a good Christmas and will feel proud of your resourcefulness

OP is breastfeeding. Makes working a bit hard....but not impossible. However by the sound of it, 6 kids and whiplash don't mix.

Wannabe I doubt he can work as a forester with whiplash!

OP...make sure you come back tomorrow.xx

We have made a claim for employment support but it does take so long, we should have had a back up plan his chiansaw recently broke so that was £600 we needed a new car and thats our rainy day fund gone, I do feel that he really should be thinking about going back to work he has has one session of nhs physio but he seems adamant he is not ready me shouting and crying does not seem to budge him. Thanks again eveyone

As for free Christmassy things to do, thia may sound obvious, but have you considered the church? There are usually carol services, navity plays, christingle services...and loads of Christmas crafts. All free and would welcome little ones too! We have even started going on Christmas morning...singing carols, bells ringing, the kids love it and they have loads of fuss made of them by the older members. Free mince pies too! Ask around to see if there is a particularly family friendly place...and don't worry about breast feeding the baby in church, it is quite acceptable these days. After all, that's how baby Jesus was fed!

Could you ask to be referred to a food bank (not sure who can refer you- perhaps HV)? If you had a bit more food, then the rest of the money would go further.

Glad you have put in application for all the help you should be getting- plus CB and tax credits, at least you are in the system.

Could your parents help you out just with some provisions, a bit of freezer food? I'm afraid I would just ask flat out in this situation.

I also had to buy a new (to me) car recently and it's a real unexpected expense. I sympathise.

Regarding the Salvation Army, see if there's a Christmas Dinner being served by them on a group basis in a church hall or similar in your neighbourhood. You will need to ask in advance if your family can come. This is so they know how many they are feeding that day in total for that venue.

hottea I am so sorry, that's terrible timing.

I know this does not take the place of presents, but since you are both home, maybe you could make it a year where you all do a lot of Christmas crafts/baking together? I know ingredients cost money but if you can do a couple of big cheap pot meals chili, lentil stew, nacho casserole then maybe you can make room in the budget for flour, butter, eggs, and sugar and they can get excited about Christmas cookies? Here's a thread about frugal Christmas baking moneysavingmom.com/2012/12/ask-the-readers-do-you-have-any-frugal-christmas-cookie-recipe-ideas.html

If you've already got tissue paper and glitter in the house there are so many neat Christmas craft ideas online for kids, snowflakes for the windows, etc. ... and you might find you could make some things for them with clothes you already have and aren't using anymore, e.g. tearosehome.blogspot.com/2010/04/tutorial-little-girls-tunic-with-tank.html

Don't know if this helps at all, but if you can have a Christmas season of playing music and making things together, I think they will look back at it happily when they're grown up. And they'll be proud of you for making the holiday special for them even when on a shoestring budget. I really feel for you, I hope some of the other posters' ideas about frugal shopping will help too.

18 weeks is young to leave the baby but if you are really stuck would you consider leaving the kids and getting a job while your DH recovers. Anything you earn would help.

You don't need to spend a lot on Xmas. The younger kids are fine with some plastic stuff and the older kids are old enough to understand your circumstances. Be honest with them. You can still have a good Xmas.

Have you got anything you can sell?

contact citizens advice bureau, they will give you advise re benefits

Ghetto while that's a nice idea, I don't think that many of us here would enjoy that. Those dinners are mainly for the homeless and there are a lot of older men who attend...not that there;'s anything up with that...but homeless men aren't the best company for a young family in general. I do't care what anyone says...if I sound discriminatory....but not really the sort of event for the OP surely.

Our local cathedral are doing Christmas dinner for £5 per adult, children go free, they ask you to take a dessert to share. We are really struggling this year and are thinking of going even though we aren't religious. Maybe something similar near you?

ESA shouldn't take that long, I'm on it.
You should be eligible for all benefits, surely?

It can take weeks to sort benefits out Lady

Tbh it sounds like this is bothering you a lot more than its bothering your husband . With whiplash and bruising if he doesn't feel up to his normal employment could he not find a temporary job that he could do ? ,if he's not going to go back to work in a hurry could you pawn the new chainsaw until some benefit money comes in ? or sell it .

I think I'd focus more on the bigger picture of paying utility bills and rent / mortgage, rather than Christmas

For Christmas, I'd suggest cheap presents and free local activities, but perhaps try to plan ahead for 2014 too.

Also, you've probably got a bit of Christmas sorted. I bet the decorations you put up are last years, from previous years, yes ?

Carol singing (if you go) Christingle etc are free. The most fun Christmas carol thing I went to was when the figurines from the Christmas Story were handed to interested participants who then sat in the audience. As the Christmas story was read out, the three wise men were put on the table, followed at the appropriate time by the appropriate characters. I thought it was good.

Agree with justmyview - the most important bill to pay is the one that keeps a roof over your head. Sorry to patronise if you'd already figured that out.

He was hit on the side coming off a roundabout very close to home the man was rushing did not see dh, we contacted the police and he admitted careless driving, we have been to see a solicitor but a compensation claim even though straight forward can take months, because the back log is so big within the benefit department we have filled in one form and are just sending back the form which details all his self employent details. I have spoken to him a little while ago tomorrow we are going to visit the cab and perhaps visit a job centre in our local big town. He is a big strong man and likes to provide for us he says he feels so shit that's why he won't face the issue of money like a failure, but thanks to the posts I feel l

Sorry posted to soon (feeding baby) I have a plan in mind, and steps to take now but due to other threads I feel everything I say people think I am on the blag and making it up which smarts a bit, so thank you again for all your help

I've contributed to that thread to say that you are only asking for help, nothing else.

However, that thread go deviated into a David Cameron rant then a discussion about Haiku which is Japanese poetry.

Oh, and may I be the first on this thread to wish you and your family and Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. All the best for 2014.

Pound shop do have lots if lovely stocking fillers. We've padded out kids presents this year with things from there.

Salvation Army usually do a toy appeal this time of year so contact them and see if you are eligible

Good luck with things today. If he can pick up a month or two of xmas / jan sales work in the shops that might give him a chance to recover and keep things together.

Hope everything goes well.