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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not lend friend my rent money?

96 replies

MrsDrRanj · 27/11/2013 09:10

My friend has been asking me for the last few days to lend him £100 for his car insurance. The only money I have in my account is rent money and money is really tight for me at the moment. He says he will 100% have it back to me by Friday but I'm not willing to take that risk with the roof over mine and DS's head.

He really won't let it go, saying I have the money to lend him and he will have it back to me, he has nobody else to ask etc. it's getting really awkward now and he's starting to piss me off he just won't let it go. I've told him if I had money to spare I would lend it to him but I'm not prepared to hand over my rent money to anybody and I haven't even known him that long.

Aibu?

OP posts:

longjane · 27/11/2013 09:11

of course not

siilk · 27/11/2013 09:12

YANBU. There is no way I would lent anyone essential money like that. Anyone.

FantasticDay · 27/11/2013 09:12

Absolutely not! Remember - no is a complete sentence!

basgetti · 27/11/2013 09:12

Of course you are not being unreasonable, tell him to get lost! He doesn't sound like much of a friend.

Unexpected · 27/11/2013 09:13

He is not your friend if he is putting you under this kind of pressure. If he can have the money back to you by Friday (2 days away) then he can wait those two days himself and pay for the car insurance then!

Preciousbane · 27/11/2013 09:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LifeofPo · 27/11/2013 09:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

expatinscotland · 27/11/2013 09:14

Of course you are not being unreasonable! FFS, tell him to back the fuck off or fuck off entirely, this is no friend.

trackerc · 27/11/2013 09:14

Do not do it. If he was a long term friend that you could see how reliable he was with keeping promises that might sway me, but it strikes me if he can't honour his commitments & budget for this insurance (which he must've known about), then he won't be able to to pay you back.
Just say apologies, its your cash & its committed to the rent & that's where it stays.
A real friend wouldn't ask any further.
Rent for you & DS is more Important than an acquaintance's car insurance.

cozietoesie · 27/11/2013 09:15

Absolutely not - and if he's hassling you in those circumstances, he's not a real friend.

(Out of interest, has he told you why there's the urgency to get it done today if he'll have the money by Friday? He ought to have another way round his situation. It all sounds very odd to me.)

impty · 27/11/2013 09:15

No, don't lend money you can't afford to lose, or gift to someone. Do drop the 'friend'.

RevengeWiggle · 27/11/2013 09:15

YANBU, your home is more important than his car, and it's your money! I'd ignore contact until he stops being so selfish.

FayeKorgasm · 27/11/2013 09:15

OP you are definitely NBU. Your rent must take priorty over everything.

In all honesty a true friend wouldn't treat you like this. If he can pay you back on Friday - which I have to say I doubt - he can wait til then to get his car insured..

He sounds a delight.

Rooners · 27/11/2013 09:15

Cut him off. He is not a good person to have in your lives.

If he persists then you can report him to the police for harrassment, but you must make it clear that he is to stop contacting you, by text or email so you have proof, and if he keeps on after that then report.

Branleuse · 27/11/2013 09:16

tell him to fuck off and get the message

shewhowines · 27/11/2013 09:16

God no YANBU.
It's definitely not a risk worth taking.

MrsBucketxx · 27/11/2013 09:17

He can get the bus for a few days, your rent takes priority over a car.

Yanbu.

I cant belive he is even asking.

Unexpected · 27/11/2013 09:17

Is he just a friend or are you in some kind of relationship with this man?

Saminthemiddle · 27/11/2013 09:18

He is not a friend if he is bullying you like that, he asked once and you said no, so he should respect your wishes. YANBU

cozietoesie · 27/11/2013 09:18

I'd actually lay a modest wager that the money he wants isn't for car insurance at all - and that that's simply what he's told you as an 'acceptable' reason for needing money.

diddl · 27/11/2013 09:19

Of course YANBU.

If he'll have the money Friday, he can sort his insurance then!

Brittapie · 27/11/2013 09:20

If he really is that desperate, point him in the direction of payday loans. Not ideal, but he must be absolutely dying for the £100...

Pearlsaplenty · 27/11/2013 09:24

Yanbu. Don't risk it.
Tell him not to ask again.

Original poster

MrsDrRanj · 27/11/2013 09:28

Unexpected not a relationship but I guess we are a bit more than friends (rethinking that now).

He keeps phoning me saying he's been trying to find someone and has found a company to do it for 100 etc. and this morning it was his little brothers been robbed and he needs the car to go and look for the guy.

I hate borrowing money from anybody and would never ask someone I didn't know very well especially if they had said no, so it doesn't sit right with me.

He often asks if I can lend him some money til a certain time but I never have as money's tight and I don't have any to spare.

OP posts:

ThenSheSaid · 27/11/2013 09:28

Don't point him the direction of payday loans.

Tell him to look at Money Saving a Experts website.

..and don't ever lend him money.

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