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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not lend friend my rent money?

96 replies

MrsDrRanj · 27/11/2013 09:10

My friend has been asking me for the last few days to lend him £100 for his car insurance. The only money I have in my account is rent money and money is really tight for me at the moment. He says he will 100% have it back to me by Friday but I'm not willing to take that risk with the roof over mine and DS's head.

He really won't let it go, saying I have the money to lend him and he will have it back to me, he has nobody else to ask etc. it's getting really awkward now and he's starting to piss me off he just won't let it go. I've told him if I had money to spare I would lend it to him but I'm not prepared to hand over my rent money to anybody and I haven't even known him that long.

Aibu?

OP posts:

TalkativeJim · 27/11/2013 09:55

Oh and someone whose response to their brother being 'robbed' is to 'go and look for the guy' - rather than report it to the police - is most certainly NOT someone who is going to be in anguish about having to insure their car a few days late :)

But the real red flag is the hassling and BULLYING - because that's what it is. You hardly know him and he thinks it's ok to treat you like this? It's more than just about money. This is not the sort of guy you want as a boyfriend...doubly so when you have a child.

Bullying
Cadging
No boundaries
Happy to hassle and distress you and try and make you do something you don't want to do so he gets his way...

Sounding like the man of your dreams??

Once again... GET RID!!

enriquetheringbearinglizard · 27/11/2013 09:55

If his brother's been robbed it's a police matter, not for a self appointed vigilante to sort out with your financial assistance. He's a user.

MILLYMOLLYMANDYMAX · 27/11/2013 09:59

£100 for car insurance??? Why doesn't he pay it over 12 months, mine is around £25 per month.

It does not add up.
A. I am surprised that you can get car insurance for £100 in total.
B. If £100 is the extra needed then surely he can pay monthly. Never heard of anything so ridiculous. This £100 is not for car insurance.
If he say he can have the money by a certain date why can't he ask the insurance company to wait till that day.
C. You will never see that £100 again. He is not your friend if he is pressuring you.
Friend lent some money to help another friend out in March with the promise that the money would be repaid at the end of the month. 8 months later she is having to visit on a weekly basis to get her to repay £20 per week and even then some weeks she has not had it. £60 down £120 to go.

Lurkersanonymous · 27/11/2013 10:00

No is not a complete sentence but is very much fit for purpose here.

I would be very grateful if you would fuck off to the far side of fuck and when you get there fuck off some more, however, IS a complete sentence and is equally fit for purpose.

Why not use both?

xxxxx

ZillionChocolate · 27/11/2013 10:01

I don't think you can leave your car uninsured unless you SORN it. Point is OP, this is not your problem, it's his responsibility. If he won't accept no, then he's not your friend.

The robber hunt sounds like complete bullshit.

ouryve · 27/11/2013 10:02

Tell him where to get off. Keeping a roof over your head is a higher priority to you than keeping his car on the road.

KissesBreakingWave · 27/11/2013 10:02

Nope. If I was asking a mate to spot me a few quid until friday and it was 'I've nowt but the rent' I'd stop asking. And once I had the money on Friday I'd be looking to see if said friend wanted a hand with anything.

DeepThought · 27/11/2013 10:07

His money woes ain't yours

Tell him to get lost and drop him

jasmine3663 · 27/11/2013 10:09

He thinks you are a mug. The "story" is just that.

IGNORE HIM

Rooners · 27/11/2013 10:10

He clearly only is interested in you for financial reasons.

Dump him now

scarletforya · 27/11/2013 10:15

he has nobody else to ask

Speaks volumes imo. Could it be he has burned his bridges with everyone else he knows, scabbing 'loans' from them and not paying them back.

Tell him to get the boat.

EirikurNoromaour · 27/11/2013 10:16

Car insurance could definitely be around £100 for first installment plus a deposit. Mine is usually around that when I start a new policy.

Totally not the point though, this guy sounds like a manipulative cocklodger in the making. Run.

hellsbellsmelons · 27/11/2013 10:16

Red flags flying all over the place here.
Do NOT get involved with person, he sounds completely vile!

RUN FOR THE HILLS!
THEY ARE THAT WAY >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

DioneTheDiabolist · 27/11/2013 10:19

Eurgghhh. This man is not your friend OP, do not give him a penny. But please keep us updated on any new attempts he makes to extract cash from you.

Felyne · 27/11/2013 10:23

It's not 'spare' money. It's your rent money. Will he let you sleep in his nicely insured car if your landlord turfs you out?

Anniegetyourgun · 27/11/2013 10:24

this morning it was his little brothers been robbed and he needs the car to go and look for the guy

Well definitely don't lend money to someone who makes up feeble stories like that, even if it wasn't your rent money! Besides, if there were the wildest possibility it were true, suppose you lent him the money so he was able to catch up with the thief, and got badly beaten up by the thief's mates, you'd feel guilty. That's why sensible people leave retribution to the police, whose job it is.

The bottom line is that the consequence of him not having car insurance money is far less than the consequence of you not having rent money, so you simply cannot afford to lend and that is an end to it. The fact he's now making up threadbare excuses as to why you have to is just an added reason not to touch it, or him in future, with a barge pole.

Anniegetyourgun · 27/11/2013 10:25

Oops, x-posted with a whole page of replies, I wish I'd stop doing that.

specialsubject · 27/11/2013 10:26

somebody mentioned that he sees you as a cashcard with legs. If it is a cashcard with a gap between legs, then you really do need to wake up and smell the coffee.

tell him to get lost and if you see or hear from him again, you'll be calling the police.

JoinYourPlayfellows · 27/11/2013 10:26

I think you need to get this person out of your life.

He is constantly trying to get money out of you.

That's not a friend, that's a user.

HeisenbergsHat · 27/11/2013 10:27

YANBU don't lend him any money - even if it's not your rent money. And seriously reconsider your friendship too, he sounds dreadful.

FiscalCliffRocksThisTown · 27/11/2013 10:31

No no no no no no no

Don't do it

Please don't do it.

Some kind of friend he sounds!

elkiedee · 27/11/2013 10:32

You know you're not being unreasonable. Don't give him the money. Can you pay the rent now so it's done?

Make some new, better friends who don't badger you for money you can't afford to lend them, let alone give them.

RubyGoat · 27/11/2013 10:35

Hope you've not lent this man your rent, OP. Never lend someone money unless you can afford to lose it. Take it from someone who has learnt this the hard way.

nauticant · 27/11/2013 10:59

this morning it was his little brothers been robbed and he needs the car to go and look for the guy

Just think for a moment what might have been going on between the brother and the guy meaning that he doesn't want the police involved and how the matter might be resolved.

Then have a think about what happens when you don't get your £100 back and can't pay the rent.

You must not give your friend this money.

marmaladeandguitars · 27/11/2013 11:11

YANBU it is the police's job to look for the guy, and that's your rent. Absolutely not. I have a policy- nobody and nothing ever touches the rent money!

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