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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not lend friend my rent money?

96 replies

MrsDrRanj · 27/11/2013 09:10

My friend has been asking me for the last few days to lend him £100 for his car insurance. The only money I have in my account is rent money and money is really tight for me at the moment. He says he will 100% have it back to me by Friday but I'm not willing to take that risk with the roof over mine and DS's head.

He really won't let it go, saying I have the money to lend him and he will have it back to me, he has nobody else to ask etc. it's getting really awkward now and he's starting to piss me off he just won't let it go. I've told him if I had money to spare I would lend it to him but I'm not prepared to hand over my rent money to anybody and I haven't even known him that long.

Aibu?

OP posts:
LadyBeagleEyes · 27/11/2013 09:30

You don't even have to think about it op, it's a no.
End off.

ballinacup · 27/11/2013 09:30

That's what I was thinking Unexpected - I don't think a friend would hassle for money in this way, but a "friend" might. "If you cared about me..."

MrsBucketxx · 27/11/2013 09:31

Sounds like a lovely guy Hmm

It's the polices job to hunt for criminals not your "friends"

I would be worried about taking this further tbh.

cozietoesie · 27/11/2013 09:31

His story doesn't hang together, MrsD. I'm not saying you would be scammed on this amount of money because you might get it back but you're going to be scammed some day on some 'loan'.

I'd get him out of your life.

Oh - and say a resounding NO to this request.

LadyBeagleEyes · 27/11/2013 09:31

Oh, and get rid of the 'friend'. Because he isn't one.

lalamumto3 · 27/11/2013 09:33

No absolutely NO

Your rent takes priority every time.

A real friend would never put you in this position.

GhostsInSnow · 27/11/2013 09:34

Don't do it. My best friend loaned a mutual uni friend £400 about 5 years ago after her sob story of how she was being kicked out of her current home with her child and needed to move ASAP so needed a £400 deposit for the first months rent.
Of course 5 years on BF has never seen a penny of it back.

I think my Nan hit it on the head with 'Neither a borrower nor a lender be'. Rarely seems to end well.

cozietoesie · 27/11/2013 09:35

PS - I'd bet he keeps phoning you about it because he senses that you might be wavering and he's looking to exploit any weakness. Be emphatic now and tell him to stop contacting you - either about this matter or altogether.

trackerc · 27/11/2013 09:36

£100 to insure a car? Can't see that's possible.
To find his little brother?- there's loads of ways to do that that doesn't mean taking money off a friend.
Would I be right in thinking he started asking for specifically that amount when you might've let slip you have this amount in your bank? I'd wager if he knew you had £50 he'd ask for that & if you had £750 he'd ask for that.
You & DS sound like you could do without the extra drama. Bin him.

expatinscotland · 27/11/2013 09:37

Oh, FFS! Get rid of this loser. Block him. Don't bother answering him any more. He's a creep.

numberoneidiot · 27/11/2013 09:39

Of course you're not BU!

TheABC · 27/11/2013 09:39

Car insurance? Really? They do allow you to pay by instalments, on a credit card, etc. Don't give him your rent money - TBH, he sounds like he is causing you more hassle and distress than the friendship is worth. If he keeps ringing, consider switching off the phone for a bit.

I am sure there are other ways he can get the cash.

ipswichwitch · 27/11/2013 09:40

So he can't get together the £100 for car insurance but can afford the petrol needed to drive about looking for this alleged "burglar"?
Also, I may be being totally cynical but I don't know a single person who has managed to insure a car for £100 - is that even possible? (Someone correct me if I'm wrong)
End of the day, that money isn't even yours - it's your landlord's, therefore you don't actually have any money to lend him. This whole thing stinks like week old fish.

pianodoodle · 27/11/2013 09:40

No way! You're right not to lend it and I'd also be rethinking the "bit more than friends" thing as well.

I never count rent money as my money. It wouldn't leave my account for any other reason than to go into the landlord's. It's just too important to risk for anything.

gamerchick · 27/11/2013 09:41

Pay your rent today so it's out of the house. Just in case he just takes it.

Tell tell him to get out of your life. He is not a friend.

cozietoesie · 27/11/2013 09:42

Oh it's just a story - little doubt in my mind about that.

And if you have more than a friendship, MrsDr ask yourself if you really want to be involved - however slightly - with someone who seems to see you as a cashcard with legs.

I'd walk on by. Fast.

ovenbun · 27/11/2013 09:42

YANBU. cut off contact. tell him to find another mug.

gamerchick · 27/11/2013 09:43

Or hide your bank card rather and tell him you've paid your rent so he can stop asking.

OnIlkelyMoorBahtat · 27/11/2013 09:44

"and this morning it was his little brothers been robbed and he needs the car to go and look for the guy."

Yes, yes of course he does.

Unexpected · 27/11/2013 09:45

Please don't let this user exploit you, today it's £100, next time it will be more and sooner or later (sooner probably!) he will not repay you on time and then he won't repay you at all!

Bumbez · 27/11/2013 09:46

If he can the money to you by Friday, what can't he insure his car on Friday instead Hmm

Bumbez · 27/11/2013 09:46

Why

Fluffycloudland77 · 27/11/2013 09:47

Why would you go looking for someone who broke into your car? You'd report it to the police and claim off the insurance wouldn't you?.

Sounds like he's trouble to me.

TalkativeJim · 27/11/2013 09:51

So - 'someone you haven't even known that long...more than a friend'

... so a guy you've just started kind of seeing is already putting pressure on you to lend him money, and basically trying to guilt you when you say no to something?

This is a BIG FAT RED FLAG. This guy isn't friend material and he certainly isn't boyfriend material. He has 'dodgy user' written all over him.

I would happily bet FAR more than £100 that you would have a nightmare getting your money back and would be hearing ever more fantastic excuses - his brother has now been conveniently robbed? And he needs the car to... err do what? Go and beat up the robbers?

GET. RID.

GET. RID.

GET. RID!!!!

MistressDeeCee · 27/11/2013 09:52

YANBU - Dont lend him the money, he will just have to get it elsewhere won't he. Im dubious about the way he's hassling you, trying to force you to lend him the money. He needs to get lost, and I wouldnt want him around as a friend either if I were you. I bet if you were a man he wouldnt be pressuring you so much..bloody pisstaker. & as Bumbez said - why can't he insure his car on Friday, since he will have £100 then? Or, is the money for something else and he doesnt have the money pay his insurance..in which case, why have a car when you can't pay the insurance? Anyway, whatever it is, none of it is your issue to deal with and all you'd get is an excuse on Friday re. why he can't give you your money back immediately. Stick to 'NO' then, avoid him like the plague