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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not lend friend my rent money?

96 replies

MrsDrRanj · 27/11/2013 09:10

My friend has been asking me for the last few days to lend him £100 for his car insurance. The only money I have in my account is rent money and money is really tight for me at the moment. He says he will 100% have it back to me by Friday but I'm not willing to take that risk with the roof over mine and DS's head.

He really won't let it go, saying I have the money to lend him and he will have it back to me, he has nobody else to ask etc. it's getting really awkward now and he's starting to piss me off he just won't let it go. I've told him if I had money to spare I would lend it to him but I'm not prepared to hand over my rent money to anybody and I haven't even known him that long.

Aibu?

OP posts:
SarahAndFuck · 27/11/2013 11:22

OP this man has dodgy written all over him.

He's asked, you've said no, that should be the end of it.

And he's asked before for other amounts, and you've said no, so he should know how broke you are and how important your rent money is.

I don't believe for one minute that he needs the car to look for the bloke who robbed his brother, because I don't believe his brother was robbed. But even if that is true, he shouldn't be looking for the bloke anyway. What's he planning to do if he finds him? Beat him up? Get himself beaten up? He's asking for trouble either way and he shouldn't be asking you to pay for that trouble.

He's not a friend, he's a user, and her's trying to grind you down with guilt trips and sob stories.

I've got to agree with everyone else, you are better of without him, because he doesn't care about you or your DS or your home. He's only going to keep asking for more and more, it's not up to you to finance him. Sooner or later you will be out of pocket and not paid back. And if that's your rent money, you'll be out of pocket and out on the streets at the same time.

GoldenGytha · 27/11/2013 11:56

Do not give this man your money OP!

There's no way he wants the £100 for car insurance, more likely he has borrowed money from a loan shark, or pay day lender (same thing really) and the payment is due today, or the heavy mob are threatening him.

Either way, it is not your problem, just keep telling him no, and if he persists, call the police.

This man sounds like a right waste of space, block his number if you can, and have nothing more to do with him.

hermioneweasley · 27/11/2013 11:59

Urgh. What a leech. Drop him and ignore his calls.

Original poster
MrsDrRanj · 27/11/2013 13:19

Thank you all for confirming what I felt. I haven't lent him money and definitely won't be, especially after all the hassle he's given me. He's gone quiet for now, perhaps hassling someone else.

I don't even know why he keeps asking to borrow money from me, I really don't have any!!

We haven't been sleeping together, just a few dates and he hasn't been around my son so it's easy enough to call it a day.

OP posts:
EldritchCleavage · 27/11/2013 13:22

You sound as though you may be dating my most horrible ex. He did this. Difference being, I had it to lend and I lent it, then had to nag for it back. Stopped when he begged me for £300 to make a mortgage payment then forgot and turned up to meet me in the £300 shoes he had just bought. That was the end of Bank of Cleavage. He had the temerity to be whiny and upset. I'm relieved to say we are no longer in touch.

cozietoesie · 27/11/2013 13:28

......so it's easy enough to call it a day.......

Good idea, MrsDr. Well done.

hermioneweasley · 27/11/2013 13:29

Please don't see him again.

TalkativeJim · 27/11/2013 13:38

You might find he goes quiet permanently... you've just shown that you're not going to be an easy touch for poncing cash from, so you might just find that you're suddenly not ideal girlfriend material after all. What a shame...

But yes, if he turns up again, dump!

RenterNomad · 27/11/2013 14:01

Oh, well done! I was getting quite anxious, reading through this thread, till I got to your definitive "no."

I wonder if the brother's car story was to make him look like some sort of reliable, protective sort, whom you can definitely trust with your rent money because he really goes all out to help HIS close ones if they are in need. A shame he undermined that impression by risking putting you in need to do it. (of course the story isn't true, but it's interesting that even a lie he made up to completely suit his purposes doesn't suit his purposes, as it makes him seem unhinged rather than "

RenterNomad · 27/11/2013 14:02

Oops!
... rather than the no-risk, short-term receptacle of your rent money!

alemci · 27/11/2013 14:03

please don't. sounds dodgy.

Ragwort · 27/11/2013 14:05

No, no, no.

Get rid of him, he really doesn't sound a very nice person at all.

We have lent two separate 'friends' (one a relative actually) over £1K each and never saw the money again. Angry

FatAssPantaloons · 27/11/2013 14:07

Stick to your guns, OP.

WeAreEternal · 27/11/2013 14:24

It's a massive red flag and I would be running for the hills.

Well done for staying firm and not giving in to his harassment.

TheGreatWizardQuiQuaeQuod · 27/11/2013 14:28

Sounds like classic scam to me. I am so glad you haven't fallen for it.

mousmous · 27/11/2013 14:33

yanbu
you don't have the money to lend to him, even if you wanted to.
rent is vety much more essential than car insurance.

he can get a (payday) loan if he is that desperate or leave the car off he road until he can afford the insurance.

ZillionChocolate · 27/11/2013 14:35

Well done OP.

Divinity · 27/11/2013 14:35

Good for you for coming on here to confirm your instinct about this. It sounds like he was playing a massive mindfuck game to get money from you. You are well rid of this one.

DeWe · 27/11/2013 14:39

Go and pay your rent now and then you don't have the money?

Sallyingforth · 27/11/2013 14:41

So glad to hear you've made the right decision!
Even if it was your own car, the rent has to take priority. You can do without a car for a few days, but you can't do without a roof over your head.

DeadSalmon · 27/11/2013 16:13

Good call, OP. Your thread was giving me palpitations.

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