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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

aibu to ask you how much you spend on your teenagers at xmas?

94 replies

judgejudithjudy · 25/11/2013 11:56

ds (15) wants the new xbox - i only want to spend £100 on him - aibu to say no? i can afford it but he is an ungrateful shit who expects everything on a plate - flunking at school & always in trouble. dh agrees with me but my family think we should get him one.

OP posts:
Purplefrogshoe · 25/11/2013 11:59

yabu i wouldnt buy him one either

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 25/11/2013 11:59

It's all relative isn't it. We got DS an x box for his bday but he is a good boy - if he was an ungrateful shit etc then no way would he have got one.

Maybe it will be a harsh but valid lesson for him....stick to your guns or tell your family they can get him one if they feel that strongly about it :)

PottyLotty · 25/11/2013 12:01

£100 is fine, thats how much my SS gets spent on him.

If he wants an xbox then give him chores to do that are sufficiently deserving of such an expensive gift.

Give him until 23rd december to make up for his poor behaviour. I always think large expensive gifts need to be earned over a sufficient length of time.

VivaLeBeaver · 25/11/2013 12:01

Well everyone will spend different amounts. Because someone may spend more doesn't mean you should have to. Conversely if everyone else spends £100 doesn't mean you shouldn't spend more if that's right for you.

I'd guess I've spent over £400 on dd. £300 on a second hand drum kit and then some other bits. It's more than what I'd normally spend but she's really into drumming and it doesn't seem fair on her that she can't practice.

JaponicaTroggs · 25/11/2013 12:17

Agree it's relative to your situation/income. We have one 15 year old DS and usually spend around £300 on him. If we were able to have more children it would be less, but we weren't and so can afford that much.

This year he's getting an ipad. He has jokingly asked for one. We laughed and told him "no chance" so he has no idea. He doesn't demand expensive stuff and doesn't get things like this the rest of the year. We spent less on his birthday and he will only get stocking fillers on top of it.

CaptChaos · 25/11/2013 12:26

We usually spend about £100 on DS's as a main present, and then buy stupid little things, pants, socks, books and the like. Both teens, both happy about the arrangement.

Purplefrogshoe · 25/11/2013 12:27

oops i meant yanbu stupid phone Blush £100 is what i will be spending

teenagetantrums · 25/11/2013 12:52

mine are 17 and 19 this year im only spending about £60, i cant afford anymore. In previous years i have spent about £150 on them, I have pre warned them and they want money so they can add it to other money they get from family and they will then spend it in the sales. I will just get a few stocking bits so they have something to open on christmas day.

lljkk · 25/11/2013 12:59

I budget £80 & they can find money from other places if they want something more expensive (by doing jobs for us, even).

ChillySundays · 25/11/2013 13:17

I have told my DS we will pay half towards a new x box. I have 2 DC so what I spend on one has to be spent on the other

SashaOfSiberia · 25/11/2013 13:24

I don't think the way you've talked about your son is good. If he's that bad what have you been doing up to this point/christmas to address his behaviour and attitude. Don't bother punishing him with Christmas if you aren't attacking his issues the rest of the time.

Firstly it is all relative as others have said, I spend what I can afford, some can do more some can do less. I like my DC to have what they want and I get real pleasure out of seeing them have great presents on christmas morning so I factor that into the cost.

I have bought one of my teen DC the new xbox (well DH has, I couldn't even work out which one he wanted) and the other the new PS4. They'll get a couple of other presents and then mainly stocking fillers. I wouldn't be spending that amount of money on DC who wouldn't appreciate it even a little or who I never have nice times with. Doesn't mean my DC can't be shits at times but 50% of them getting any present is their behaviour.

ColdTeaAgain · 25/11/2013 13:28

YANBU if you don't think he'll appreciate or deserves it. At 15 he's old enough to go and earn some money to buy it himself if he wants it that badly! Sounds like he needs to learn a bit about the value of things and what it takes to afford them.

5Foot5 · 25/11/2013 13:36

dh agrees with me but my family think we should get him one

None of their damn business! Are they the sort of doting GPs who will undermine your authority by getting him one themselves if you refuse?

LambChopsRarePlease · 25/11/2013 13:38

You'll have a hard job getting him the new xbox one. They were £429.99 on pre order, now sold out so if you want one you'll have to buy on ebay from people who pre ordered multiples and they are selling at around £600 right now.

GreenShadowInTheLibrary · 25/11/2013 13:39

The amount we spend on our teens varies from year to year but we wouldn't ever be giving one child a present like an XBox - it would either be shared or they would be contributing towards it. Could your DS do that with any Christmas money he may receive?

LittleMissRed · 25/11/2013 13:42

We are getting DS1 a PS4 - that is for his birthday this month and for Christmas and he has to put birthday and Christmas money towards it. He will get other odds and ends for stocking fillers too, but nothing too expensive.

intitgrand · 25/11/2013 19:05

about £300 each

BodaciousTatas · 25/11/2013 20:16

I've spent about £300. However if she was being a shit then no I would not have gone to so much trouble.

But it does depend on what She wants last year I only spent £150 as she wanted a meal with her friends for her birthday a week later.

BohemianGirl · 25/11/2013 20:17

Mine are much more altruistic. They prefer the cash, sit back and hit the sales. So !20-150 depending on how generous I feel

MrsDavidBowie · 25/11/2013 20:22

about £300 each.

phantomnamechanger · 25/11/2013 20:47

main gift for DD (14) this year was £99 - a sewing machine that will be well used as she is very crafty and will be likely to do art and textiles at GCSE, last yr she had a (cheap, basic) kindle for £70

other bits like a onesie, smellies, little stocking fillers, PJs, jumper, socks & gloves , DVD & a book - probably another £100

HesterShaw · 25/11/2013 20:49

See, this is why increasingly people hate Christmas.

Jinty64 · 25/11/2013 20:52

Ds2 (16) is getting a ps4. It's for his birthday and Christmas. Originally he was trading in his old x-box towards it but ds1 (18) has broken his x-box so he is getting ds2's and some money. I have spent about £200 on ds3 (7) because he is getting a tablet and accessories. This is more than I would normally spend but they don't get from many other people so I had to get a few extra bits for his stocking.

DownstairsMixUp · 25/11/2013 20:53

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

Jinty64 · 25/11/2013 20:55

I should add ds2 is hard working, does a lot of jobs for us including babysitting his brother (7 year old, not 18 year old) taking him out, bathing him and putting him to bed. If he wasn't doing this I wouldn't spend this much.