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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Encouraging right handedness in toddler

337 replies

Pearlsaplenty · 25/11/2013 08:13

My 2 year has been showing a preference to using his left hand so I have been encouraging him to use his right hand by passing him thing to his right hand, kicking balls to his right side etc. I know it is very bad to force right handedness and I would never do that.

I would prefer him to be right handed as I know it is easier for general everyday living and also I have family members/friends who have said that it is more difficult to be a left handed when it comes to music eg learning guitars upside down if there is no left handed one to use.

Would I be unreasonable to ask his nursery to also encourage this?

OP posts:
pudcat · 25/11/2013 08:36

He is only 2. Why do you have to keep challenging him? Let him have fun.

SteamWisher · 25/11/2013 08:37

But why are you passing it to his non-dominant hand on purpose? That is just odd.

Isn't there a statistic about left handers being higher achievers (tongue in cheek) - eg president obama, Einstein etc.

Groovee · 25/11/2013 08:38

Just leave him. If my observations showed a child showing a preference for left handedness then I would enable their preference in activities etc.

Lefties get on quite well these days.

attheendoftheday · 25/11/2013 08:39

But handedness is defined by brain structure, it isn't something you can alter by encouragement (although you can teach children that they must use their non-dominant side, but it will never be natural to them).

Leave well alone. Being left handed is not a big deal.

senua · 25/11/2013 08:39

Would I be unreasonable to ask his nursery to also encourage this?

That sounds like a great idea. Hopefully they will give you a six hour lecture about the harm you are doing.Angry
Left/right-ness is quite complicated. LeftHANDedness is only a part of it. I am generally a Leftie and think that DD is weird because she writes with her Left but uses her Right side for pretty much everything else.
The most 'cack-handed' people in our family are DH and DS who are both right-handed.

cardamomginger · 25/11/2013 08:40

YABU. DD has always shown a preference for her left hand and at age 3 continues to do so. When she was younger I encouraged her to just do stuff with whatever hand she wants. Now, if I can see she is struggling with something in her right hand and getting frustrated with it, I might suggest she tries her left, because she has better control and fine motor skills with that hand. Generally, I still back off and let her get on with it on her own.

The number of scenarios where there is a genuine and serious disadvantage from being left handed is extremely small. Your left-handed DC will be fine. It's not just 'more of a challenge' you are sending out a signal that the way he wants to do things and the way he finds them easiest is inappropriate and something that he should change. Not a good message for a child. I would hope that no nursery or school would consider forcing (and I'm sorry, but it IS forcing) a child to switch dominant hands. It's not an arbitrary preference - it's the way the brain is wired up.

gamerchick · 25/11/2013 08:40

I can't really believe what I'm reading.. This has got to be a wind up surely Grin

I'm left handed when I was at school the teachers were old school and would do a little twitch when I was writing.. but they didn't force me. One suggested I 'give it a try' with my right hand but gave up quite quickly.

You're going to give your kid a complex... knock it off if you're for real.

StrawberryMoose · 25/11/2013 08:40

Oh yes, it's a huge disadvantage for me especially when I can't cut bread straight or use a tin opener. I often think I would have got so much further in life if it wasn't for my pesky left-handedness. Hmm

SeaSickSal · 25/11/2013 08:40

Meh. My toddler looks like he is going to left handed. Just going to let him develop as his preference takes him.

However I don't think what you're doing is so bad because my mother in law and husband were both left handed but in Ireland the fashion at the time was to make children learning to write do it with the right hand regardless of their natural preference. As a result they are both ambi-dexterous and express no resentment at the way this was done. My husband says it made it much easier to sit exams.

But I do think in that sense you are worrying unnecessarily because handwriting is dying out which is the main problem lefties face.

FrauMoose · 25/11/2013 08:41

You could argue that the way society is currently constituted it's easier to be straight than gay.

As our children start to grow up we could encourage them towards heterosexuality by smiling encouragingly whenever they mention people of the opposite sex, and discouraging same-sex friendships. And asking all their other relatives to do the same.

Because that way our children will fit in better and be so much happier.

MortifiedAnyFuckerAdams · 25/11/2013 08:41

This has got to be a wind up surely?

Original poster
Pearlsaplenty · 25/11/2013 08:42

I'm right handed so I naturally kick to his right side, I just don't vary this, maybe I should now though since I'm wrong although varying it wouldn't come naturally to be being a right hander.

When we sit together doing drawing, gluing etc I always sit opposite him and pass to him with my right hand, into his right hand. So it is not that I think about it every time, I just position myself so that I naturally pass things to his right side. Now I'm not sure if I should try to alternate sides now.

OP posts:
pudcat · 25/11/2013 08:43

I should hate to be his brain trying to work it all out. Says brain to itself " I want him to pick this up with left hand, but oh oh it is on the right. Go on right hand - pick it up. Stop left hand - right hand has to do it as it is nearer to him. No left hand you can't move him over so you are nearer and left foot you can't turn him round. Oh dear. I have a headache now"

papooshka · 25/11/2013 08:43

Yabu...my dh and dd are both left handed, no problem at all. My dad who is in his 80's was also LH and made to write with his right, which had a big impact on him and he had a stutter for years after (same as what happened in The Kings Speech) Hmm

Neitheronethingortheother · 25/11/2013 08:45

I am left handed so is my brother, mu niece and 2 of my children. I don't think you are being cruel by handing him things to his right hand. Lots of over reactions on this thread. Ds 20 is a lovely guitar player. I did struggle holding the bow of a cello but it is good to be able to use both hands.

SteamWisher · 25/11/2013 08:45

Your posts are changing. Your OP said that you encourage him to use his right hand but now you're saying you do it without thinking... Hmm

pudcat · 25/11/2013 08:46

If you are opposite him surely his left hand is opposite your right hand. Why can't you just put the things down on the table and let him pick them up.

prettybird · 25/11/2013 08:46

Be aware that there are degrees of handedness. Dh and I are different types of left hander - he is left eyed dominant whereas I am right eyed dominant. I am a "hook" hander, which is probably related to that.

IMHO, it suggests I have a natural advantage as it means that I am using both halves of the brain more fully Grin

Scrounger · 25/11/2013 08:46

Why overthink this? Just kick the ball / pass the paint and not worry about it, let him enjoy it and develop naturally.

YeGodsDidTheDrWhoThemeTune · 25/11/2013 08:47

softly softly some people prefer lefthanded scissors, but if you grow up using the ones everyone else uses, you just get used to holding them so you can see. The triangular shaped pencils, crayons, pens etc are good to help develop good grip.

As she gets older, consider giving her space on her left when eating at a table (especially at big family gatherings - put her on the end with romm to her left) and consider it also when she is writing/ drawing or using a computer.

JackieBrambles · 25/11/2013 08:48

YABU.

I am left handed and have awful memories of being forced to eat right handed at school, using my less dominant hand (right) for my knife!!

I am also pretty musical and in fact played guitar all the way through school - it is very easy to restring an acoustic guitar to be left handed, a music shop can do it no problem (my dad did it at home for me, you just swap the strings round!).

SpecialJK · 25/11/2013 08:48

It's weird that you're even thinking about how you position yourself to hand him things to him. Why don't you just hold it out towards him and let him take it from you with whatever hand he wants, rather than specifically passing it to one hand?

Vatta · 25/11/2013 08:50

Miley Cyrus is a leftie, but her father made her use her right hand instead and look how that turned out!

I'm glad you're recognising the error of your ways OP, just let him develop naturally.

MiaowTheCat · 25/11/2013 08:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

grizzabellia · 25/11/2013 08:50

My friend's in laws tried to discourage her son from using his left hand and he developed a stutter. Apparently tj