Encouraging right handedness in toddler

[Pearlsaplenty]

My 2 year has been showing a preference to using his left hand so I have been encouraging him to use his right hand by passing him thing to his right hand, kicking balls to his right side etc. I know it is very bad to force right handedness and I would never do that.

I would prefer him to be right handed as I know it is easier for general everyday living and also I have family members/friends who have said that it is more difficult to be a left handed when it comes to music eg learning guitars upside down if there is no left handed one to use.

Would I be unreasonable to ask his nursery to also encourage this?

One in 10 people is left-handed. Interestingly (perhaps) a disproportionate number of US presidents have been left-handed, including Barack Obama, Bill Clinton, Gerald Ford, Ronald Reagan and George Bush.

I don't know what that tells you, if anything. But if it's not a bar to holding high office, it's probably not a bar to many other things either.

I think it is a bit unusual tbh to get him to keep changing colours etc . The only craft I would supervise in that way is painting because painting is evil messy. Why not try putting everything out and then sit and comment on his work 'oh you've picked up the blue that's a nice colour, do you want to tell me about your picture etc'. Just help him if he can't do it or is getting frustrated. Make sure the pencils are thick to encourage good hand grip and maybe buy some lh scissors.

so do you not allow him to work things out for himself, ever? With play doh I just dump it all out in front of DD and let her get on with it. I show her how to use things, of course, but she potters about doing her own thing too.

You sound a bit controlling, if I may say so.

Having seen your last post I think it's more than left handedness. Seriously just leave him to work it out for himself. Who cares if he uses stuff incorrectly? Or in the wrong order.

Put the stuff In front of him and let him loose. Crafts is about using imagination.. you can't organise that.

Pearls - I say this in the nicest possible way but you do sound a bit obsessive. As others say, the fact that you have planned in advance where to sit during craft sessions, or care about him being disadvantaged because he might not be as good at the guitar, or whatever. It's over the top. Regardless of rightie or leftie, I honestly cannot believe you 'plan where to sit' in advance or deliberately constantly aim a ball to one side of him. It's all just a bit odd. Are you anxious about other aspects of his upbringing? The best thing you can foster in your child is a relaxedness about who he is and that whoever he is is just perfect and okay.

I think a lot of what you say sounds like you are overly involved in his every action. Why do you need to pass him the pastry cutters? Why can't he just choose what he wants to play with? I can honestly say I never thought that I needed to 'teach' my DC how to play with pastry cutters or with any craft thing.

YeGods - shhh, I wasn't about to admit to having done that!

YABVU. Words fail me.

Cross-posted with Giraffes!

There's a great book called Right hand, left hand by Chris McManus, which is about the science of handedness. One of the most fascinating books I have ever read.

phew found my natural home amongst other lazy parents!!

With craft I do try and help him as he doesn't naturally gravitate to it. If I just left him with the play dough he would eat it! So i need to show him what other things he can so with it. And also he would lose interest with drawing, gluing if I just left him to it, so I talk to him about using different colours, choosing different pictures. I am not overally controlling we only do crafty things every couple of days. The rest of the time he is does his own thing.

I went to a museum once, which had a re-created Victorian school room. On display they had hand-manacles- actually metal manacles which were used on left-handed children to manacle their left hand to the desk. I was shocked at this level of cruelty, and as a leftie, glad that society has moved on. Your attitude seems like a step backwards to me. There is nothing wrong with being left-handed, and everything wrong with trying to 'encourage' your DS otherwise.

(I second the knitting thing though, could never quite 'get' what my right handed Mum was trying to show me!)

May I suggest if he's not interested in drawing, you don't make him do it? He is 2 years old.

"If I just put them in front he would use them incorrectly or just use one thing."

And the problem with that is? That's how children learn. Ok, if he's using the wrong end of the glue and getting frustrated, or trying to stick the scissors up his nose, you correct/help; but you really aren't helping him at all by passing things to him in some sort of "approved" order. Leave him be! Sit with him, sure, draw a picture with him, encourage him, but stop with the giving him things!

Also - DS is a leftie, has been since very early, and I've never given a thought to how I pass a football to him. Other than now tbh, he's a goalie in a team so if we practise we just try to get it past him! Never occurred to me to deliberately swing it one way or another because of his handedness.

Relax, really.

I'm left handed and play the piano (or I did) just fine, you also get left handed guitars.

Most things have left handed versions and I'm very left handed, my life is no worse for it and I have beautiful handwriting as well.

Forcing/encouraging a child to use the opposite side to wha they are naturally inclined is going to be very unhelpful for that child.

Joining the YABU chorus. My dad,sis and DH are all left handed and its never held them back from anything. In fact I remember my mum tearing the HV a new one when HV suggested trying to make my sis use her right hand!
Your DS is left handed, it's part of who he is

My eldest was very late showing any preference. It was a slight right in the end.

I thought I must have been the same as a DC- though I write with my right I have always been able to write with a bit more thought with my left.

I now rarely write at all by hand - and in the last few years I've found that I'm increasingly using my left hand - black berry picking all the scratches were on my left, picking things up I'm without thinking using my left and only noticing cause I pulled the shoulder.

I'm not very co-ordinated to point diagnosed with dyspraxia and even as an adult confuse left and right.

I think you should think of his solid preference showing as a good thing and work with it.

Well, I hope you get him to help tidy/clean up afterwards, Pearl! That, at least, you can influence on MN without too much opposition.

I must have had lousy handwriting at school because I can remember a couple of teachers standing over me and saying "Why don't you try it with your right hand?" I did, obediently, but with results that were so terrible that I recall them blanching slightly and saying "Um, ok, better go back to using your left."

YABU

Dyspraxic LH DS2 plays guitar better than anyone I've ever heard, so that's a red herring. It's only harder if someone has told them it is (according to his bloody amazing guitar teacher)

But why does he have to do craft type things if he's not interested in them?

My DS2 is left handed. It has made not one bit of difference to his 'everyday' living.

Being left handed isnt dirty you know. It's genetic. At his age he doesn't know what you are doing but subconsciously he will be picking up your disproval pd him using his left hand.

Ds is 2.6. dh is left handed, I am right handed. Shock horror, we are both normal human beings. Dh is hugely artistic and could sell his drawings if he wanted to. Me, I'm a clumsy clutz who falls over fresh air and struggles with co-ordination (I'll never play the piano)

Ds will be what he is. No way would I try to force a preference on him. It will probably be a year or so before a dominant hand shows itself anyway.

Yabvvvvvvvvu

STOP DOING THIS

I'm right handed, but I was told to use a pen in my right hand from an early age. So I'm now right handed, but I can write with my left. But I#m left eye and left foot dominant.

And can you have a dominant ear? I can only use a phone with my rigght ear, it feels odd if I use the other.

I do some things left handed, and some I swap hands, I didn't know that most people only use one hand to brush their teeth, I do my right side with my right hand and the left side with my left hand.

It is the worst of both worlds.

Are people still doing this?? This happened to my Dad in the 60's. They made him write with his right hand instead of his left but he still does everything else left handed because that's the way a left handed persons brain works.

I am also left handed & have never had any issues because of it. Schools, workplaces etc have adapted these days & there are things available to make it so that left handers don't have to struggle. Scissors, rulers, notebooks etc

So yes, I do think YABVU

Every couple of days is very often if a child isn't interested. Take his lead, do the stuff he's interested in, have fun together. Stop trying to mould him. He's not a piece of play doh, he's a baby with his own personality and interests

I can't actually believe I'm reading this

Aside from the whole left-handed thing (I am a leftie), you seem to be over-thinking everything that you do with him.

He's 2- if he doesn't enjoy crafts, let him do other stuff! My ds (nearly 2) eats craft stuff, so we just don't bother with that activity much yet. He likes colouring and eating crayons but it holds his attention for 15-20 mins maximum. Again, perfectly normal for his age.