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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Encouraging right handedness in toddler

337 replies

Pearlsaplenty · 25/11/2013 08:13

My 2 year has been showing a preference to using his left hand so I have been encouraging him to use his right hand by passing him thing to his right hand, kicking balls to his right side etc. I know it is very bad to force right handedness and I would never do that.

I would prefer him to be right handed as I know it is easier for general everyday living and also I have family members/friends who have said that it is more difficult to be a left handed when it comes to music eg learning guitars upside down if there is no left handed one to use.

Would I be unreasonable to ask his nursery to also encourage this?

OP posts:

Scrounger · 25/11/2013 08:26

That has to be one of the most stupid ideas I have heard in a while (which is saying something on AIBU).

Please don't 'encourage' this it is genetic and just let him develop as he should. I am left handed but don't find 'life more difficult' than right handers. I actually use my right hand for lots of things e.g. using scissors.

Grotbagstwin · 25/11/2013 08:26

My school did this to me, I am still left handed but have no right side co ordination at all, it is like by them forcing me made me less co ordinated, I never had problems with learning to play guitars, using scissors and cutlery.
If I had a preference with my ds I would prefer him to be left handed as it would be easier for me to teach him stuff but I would never encourage it, he will settle on a side eventually, he is 3.5 and draws with his left and right to the same level.

Oodyouthinkyouare · 25/11/2013 08:26

Oh also my dsis was was left handed & unbeknown to my parents her reception teacher forced her to use her right hand & this really messed things up for her as she wrote backwards for years & it caused many other problems

prettybird · 25/11/2013 08:27

BTW - dh and I are both left handed and love being naturally superior so.

We've managed to get over the disappointment of ds being right handed.

BigToesofFrog · 25/11/2013 08:28

It may be easier to be right-handed if you ARE right-handed, just because a lot of things are designed for the right-handed. (You can often buy left-handed alternatives though.)

If he's naturally left-handed, it will never be easier for him to be right-handed through "encouragement". It would be easier for him to be left-handed, whatever other difficulties that may cause.

I'm struggling to believe you're for real OP. Surely this kind of thinking is decades out of date?

ButThereAgain · 25/11/2013 08:29

Btw, although it can be hard to learn some activities left-handed, this is usually because the person teaching you is right-handed and can't make the needed reversals to instruct you -- and the proliferation of helpful videos on the internet makes this difficulty a thing of the past. I think there are plenty of people out there in internetland showing you how to knit, crochet, play instruments left-handed, etc.It's a great new resource.

I might have learned to knit if that had been around when I was a child! Instead of being driven to tears by my headteacher (the sister of the headteacher in "Matilda") cursing my leftie stupidity.

SpoonfulOfJam · 25/11/2013 08:29

Are you serious op? I hope your child doesn't begin exhibiting any other undesirable preferences as he grows up, although perhaps you will be able to condition them out of him too. Madness.

MinesAPintOfTea · 25/11/2013 08:29

Even if you just put him off using the things that you pass him "because they're too hard" (as you would find them if using your left) then it will cause a little damage.

You have the DC you have and should work with that.

BananaNotPeelingWell · 25/11/2013 08:29

I'm LH and so is one of my dc. It's never been a big problem. Anyway I think there are degrees of left handedness. Some people are very LH other like me do some things in a RH, some LH. But I've never felt I've been at odds with the world over it. I'd leave your ds to work out his own preferences naturally. It could mix him up to get him to favour a different hand when he doesnt feel comfortable with it.

pudcat · 25/11/2013 08:29

Are you living in the dark ages? You will make your son clumsy if you carry on. Paul McCartney is a very famous left handed guitar player. There are lots of gadgets around for left handed people. Just let him develop in his own way. If your Nursery is any good they will not do as you say.

SpecialJK · 25/11/2013 08:29

Yabvu. If he is left handed, it is in his genetics. You can't change it, and by trying to get him to prefer to be right handed, it will only serve to delay his development with numerous things.

There is evidence that left handed people earn more, and have higher IQs as a percentage of the population, so not sure why you would want him to change.

As a left hander I've never had an issue with anything that couldn't be overcome, and nothing particularly significant anyway. You make it sound like a disability

elliegoulding · 25/11/2013 08:29

So now you have had 100% YABU have you seen the error of your ways??!!!!

GoatBongoAnonymous · 25/11/2013 08:29

I do some things right handed, some left. I have always been like that, and whichever hand I use, I can't change. But they tried at school as they couldn't comprehend not bring entirely dominant in one hand. As a result, there are things I still struggle to do. Please let him develop as he is wired to do.

YeGodsDidTheDrWhoThemeTune · 25/11/2013 08:29

If that is all you're doing, then it won't affect him, as long as you are allowing him to turn and still use his left arm/leg/eye if this is his preference.

YABU in your attitude towards left-handedness. Seriously, it can be a huge advantage in life, there is nothing you can do to stop it and if you do succeed in making a naturaly left-handed child use their right hand, it can set them back in many ways, from develping poor handwriting, confusing left/right and spacial awareness, spelling, grasping numeracy and mathematical concepts, as well as affecting their self esteem and sense of self worth. Why on earth would you want to attack any aspect of your child just because they are different to you?

Original poster

Pearlsaplenty · 25/11/2013 08:32

Ok i see iabu, I never said force

I just hand him things to his right hand and kick to his right side, he usually swaps back over anyway. I am not being cruel, I just know some left handed people who say it is a disadvantage, especially learning guitars etc.

I am not a cruel mother and he is more coordinated than most children his age especially at football and so I like to think that passing to his right foot is just an extra challenge.

OP posts:

softlysoftly · 25/11/2013 08:32

To hijack thread slightly dd1 seems to be lefthanded is there any things I should get her that are specifically lefthanded?

Back to op, DD1 gets a lot of "oh no she's left handed switch her spoon to train her right" comments from DHs family. Much as I love them they are very very wrong and she's 4 now still left handed.

BigToesofFrog · 25/11/2013 08:33

Yes in sport is is often an advantage.
here

Original poster

Pearlsaplenty · 25/11/2013 08:34

But thank you, I won't mention it to nursery as I don't want them to think I'm crazy or cruel.

OP posts:

BigToesofFrog · 25/11/2013 08:34

OK OP, but presuming you're right-handed, how would you like someone deliberately handing everything to your left hand? It would feel like cruel teasing.

MaireadnotMermaid · 25/11/2013 08:34

What is WRONG with you. FFS. Leave the child be.

ZillionChocolate · 25/11/2013 08:34

YABU. I'm left handed and don't use any special gadgets although find blunt scissors difficult.

YeGodsDidTheDrWhoThemeTune · 25/11/2013 08:35

There are a number of world famous left-handed guitarists.

SpecialJK · 25/11/2013 08:35

Strange some people's attitudes. I've always loved being LH and different. My parents told me it was because only special people are chosen to be LH

I'm keeping my fingers crossed DS is left handed!

Anydrinkwilldo · 25/11/2013 08:36

My ds has a preference or left hand too and PILs trying to discourage it. I remove him from their care when they start this. NOTHING wrong with it. My mother is left handed it never held her back. Reading your post makes me vvvvvvv mad

tracypenisbeaker · 25/11/2013 08:36

i can see how using both sides would be useful in sports, like how in the Rocky films Mick encourages Rocky to switch to give his right jabs more power and to surprise his opponent.

But you did say 'I would prefer him to be right handed as I know it is easier for general everyday living' so this has nothing to do with sports really- you can't just condition someone to change which hand is their default. It's embedded in your brain pretty much- some people are born capable of using both, but thats a rarity. It's like trying to change which of your eyes has the better vision.

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