To withdraw DD from being weighed at school?

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DH thinks I am making a big fuss about nothing.

I refused consent for DD to be weighed at school as I don't think its neccesary. I didn't make a fuss, just ticked the box saying that I did not give consent.

Yes I saw your comment, Vworp. We weren't weighed during my time at private school (though we did have a school nurse), this was a few years ago, however.

Ha- yes, this is a newish initiative, I think brought in 3 years ago?

GoldmandraThu 21-Nov-13 22:37:07

It's a book called The Care and Keeping of You: The Body Book for Girls on Amazon

Wheres the one for boys #EverydaySexism

Of course thinking about how much you weigh is important - if it's far too much or too little it is unhealthy. I want my DC to consider their weight, to know what it is and roughly what it should be (the healthy range for adults isn't all that narrow) and hopefully to eat well and exercise to maintain a healthy weight.

Thinking too much about what you weigh, and having unrealistic expectations about weight and body image, is a problem. And should be avoided.

YANBU to withdraw her from being weighed at school. But YABU to say she should never be weighed and that you don't want her to think about it. I want my DC to think about it in a healthy and confident way.

There's a lot of projection here of parents' issues with weight onto their DCs.
Ok. I'm sure allthe DCs who appear to be overweight and, therefore, at risk of heart problems/ diabetes/ mobility restriction/ cancer in later life are all just athletic or big boned or BMI is all made up rubbish.

Children are weighed and measured at school not so much for their benefit but for national and local statistical reasons - so that the authorities can measure stuff :). The info is used for various things: planning (cf the Change for Life program), statistics, comparing different generations, research etc.

I think so, in any event.

I wonder if ppl refuse just because they can
From the minute children set foot in school they are assessed and graded against their peers. Maybe it's the sniff of rebellion that parents like amongst all this measuring of ability and attainment when declining a health related check.

It is not harmful for children to me weighed. The baby clinic near me is crammed with parents keen to learn about the growth of their small children. Even when the health visitor assures them they don't need to come every week. At what age does it become a dirty secret?

What is harmful is for them to be very over or underweight.

For all those who say that weighing children shouldn't be done in school, this is the best way for the school nurse team to get all children together in one place to be weighed. It isn't compulsory, so tbh, I can't even see the need for this thread.

For children who are subject to a Child Protection Plan, having their height and weight monitored by a health care professional is part of the CP Plan, as many such children often miss routine medical and dental appointments.

I can't see why any parent wants to make such an issue of it. It takes seconds, hop on, hop off - done - no big deal- unless of course you insist on making it a big deal.

"Ha- yes, this is a newish initiative, I think brought in 3 years ago?"

I've got a bit lost. What is the newish bit? (The weighing programme is 50+ years old).

^There's a lot of projection here of parents' issues with weight onto their DCs.
Ok. I'm sure all the DCs who appear to be overweight and, therefore, at risk of heart problems/ diabetes/ mobility restriction/ cancer in later life are all just athletic or big boned or BMI is all made up rubbish.^

I'm pretty certain that in the majority of cases the parents of those individual children are considerably better placed to make that judgement call than a government pen pusher or stranger on an internet forum .

Yabu - whole class being weighed so wouldn't want to draw attention to my dc by withdrawing. Plus IME those with overweight children generally can't see it.

The school nurse teams are not government pen pushers. And sadly it is apparent that many parents don't make that judgement call for whatever reason, hence the number of significantly overweight children.

Dum, the "strangers in an internet forum" are being asked whether the OP is unreasonable to withdraw her child from the whole class being weighed, not to decide whether her child is over- or underweight

The only reason that I can see for making a huge issue is that the parent thinks the child will be overweight.

I think I have realised why I don't want him to be weighed. It is the feeling that people are doing something so intrusive that the results have to be hidden from everyone present.

If the child is not told their weight, or height, and the other children are not told theirs either, and no one is allowed to even look at the scales apart from the data recorder - then that makes it feel rather sinister, and in fact makes a good case for not doing it imo.

Because something requiring that level of surreptition is something that should be done in private if necessary, on an individual basis.

I think the whole thing is horrible. I can see myself as an 11yo asking 'well what do I weigh' and being met with a horrified response of 'I cannot tell you that'.

It is condescending and nasty...it places the child within a discourse to which they have no access.

Would you like to be weighed in a line at work with your colleagues? No? Then don't make children take part in that.

btw nit nurse was always rather fun imo, but I think given my own misgivings about weighing, I probably should not be hankering for a return of that system either

except nits affect everyone
weight is individual

'The only reason that I can see for making a huge issue is that the parent thinks the child will be overweight.'

Well you are missing something significant then...fwiw ds isn't overweight anyway. And I wouldn't care if he was, in relation to this system. That's a private matter.

Well why don't you just explain to your DS that he won't be told (because it's personal) in front of others?. You'll tell him yourself.
It's not really intrusive is it?

A colonoscopy would be.

And our dcs are going to be exposed to weight issues. They are everywhere.
Maybe it's useful for it to be normalised in this way.

If a child asked then we would tell them, it isn't secretive and surreptitious, just carried out in a way that means that they aren't all comparing afterwards, as that is obviously not ideal.

I think this thread is a classic example of what the word "over-thinking" was invented for .

And there seems to be a lot of misinformation and supposition about the whole process. As Elle says, children are told if they ask and not if they don't, just like in any normal conversation.

If you turn it into the next big conspiracy, of course your DCs are going to be traumatised by it.

"I would rather this info was collected (if deemed necessary) through the health services, not through education providers."

The health services use education providers because it is the most convenient method. You have all the children in one place, you can weigh them one after the other, job done. It has nothing to do with the school.

I said exactly that upthread, bun, but the conspiracy theorists would have us believe those horrible teachers are up to something sinister.

Oh, I didn't realise they would be told.

Not sure I really want a stranger telling my child their weight at school though tbh. I'd rather it was in my presence at least in case they had any questions or concerns.

So forget the not telling them thing, as it kind of cancels out. Just the thing about not wanting to be weighed in this manner as an adult and my weight recorded for the public good, as it were - and not wanting my child to experience that either.

Would you like to be weighed in a line at work with your colleagues? No? Then don't make children take part in that.

To be honest, if the NHS were doing a statistical data collection and were going around every company weighing everyone, the results weren't shared with me or my colleagues, then yes, I'd queue up and be weighed. I really wouldn't give a toss.

If a child is completely unaware of weight issues, there aren't any scales in the house etc, I can't see why sticking them on a pair of scales and not telling them the outcome is going to suddenly give them issues.