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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To withdraw DD from being weighed at school?

554 replies

SeaDevilscanPlay · 21/11/2013 16:08

DH thinks I am making a big fuss about nothing.

I refused consent for DD to be weighed at school as I don't think its neccesary. I didn't make a fuss, just ticked the box saying that I did not give consent.

OP posts:
Rooners · 22/11/2013 08:02

IN fact the IDEA of someone recording my weight for the government makes me shudder. It really does.

Rooners · 22/11/2013 08:04

'To be honest, if the NHS were doing a statistical data collection and were going around every company weighing everyone, the results weren't shared with me or my colleagues, then yes, I'd queue up and be weighed. I really wouldn't give a toss.'

Really? Would you not feel that it was a bit at odds with your liberty, your privacy and your sense of personal responsibility for your weight?

Fair enough if not. But I certainly would. I'd feel like we were cattle.

BMW6 · 22/11/2013 08:04

I remember regularly being weighed, checked for nits etc by school nurse 50 years ago.

I do not understand why anyone would object.

As children are vulnerable to neglect/harm in their own home, by their own parent(s), surely it is right to have a safety net to try to identify neglect for the child's sake?
The checks were introduced for that very reason, not for statistics.

I wonder if Daniel Pelka etc was regularly checked over by a school nurse?

If a child is under or over weight, has physical marks that MAY show domestic abuse, the last person who should be able to stop these from being identified is the person who is responsible for such abuse - the Parent.

IMO the rights of a child outweigh the rights of any parent.

SuburbanRhonda · 22/11/2013 08:05

It's not the same for adults, rooners.

We stop growing at a certain age (is it 18, can't remember?), so we change weight because of lifestyle, not normal physical development.

And children are used to doing things en masse at school because its normal. Just because we wouldn't want to change for PE in front of other adults don't mean school children should have their own private cubicle. They don't seem to have a problem with it - surely that's the important thing?

Bunbaker · 22/11/2013 08:05

"Oh, I didn't realise they would be told."

They don't. A letter gets sent to the parents.

"Would you like to be weighed in a line at work with your colleagues?"

I wouldn't have a problem with that at all.

Rooners · 22/11/2013 08:06

And I am a healthy weight now - about 9 stone and a quarter, and 5ft 7. I have been for years.

I am not ashamed of my weight but would still not want it recorded by anyone apart from my own, personal healthcare provider in order to treat for something.

I don't feel my weight is the government's business and I don't feel that my child's weight is either. Much as I wouldn't like my bank activity looked at, or my bathing habits.

TheRealAmandaClarke · 22/11/2013 08:07

SuburbanRonda
"i think this thread is a classic example of what the word "over -thinking" was invented for"

A perfect truth.

FiscalCliffRocksThisTown · 22/11/2013 08:08

Not wanting my DC weighed, and this being recorded by the state, has nothing to do with us being defensive about weight, or touchy about weight,. Neither does it mean we have any kind of weight problem.

My problem is with the state collecting this kind of data at all. It is not anonymous. The state now has a file with how much your child weighs, and how you feed them ( if you sent in the questionnaire).

Rooners · 22/11/2013 08:09

and there you are, I have just recorded it online for the world to see Grin

TheRealAmandaClarke · 22/11/2013 08:09

Omg there are loads of things that children do at school, but we don't do at work. It's not sme single to compare the two.

But no, I wouldn't mind in the least if I were to be weighed at work.

mameulah · 22/11/2013 08:11

YANBU

But fwiw I have seen inside a lot of children's packed lunches and some parents do need a heaps up that their five year old does not need two rolls and a sausage roll, crisps and sweets for their lunch.

Or, for a fifteen minute break, more snacks than they can carry. Fact.

ElleBellyBeeblebrox · 22/11/2013 08:11

I can only speak for my team in my area when I say that if the child asked they would be told. Other areas may differ. Most don't ask and are really not interested in the whole process!

TheRealAmandaClarke · 22/11/2013 08:12

some single = sensible.
Sorry.

And Dum "strangers on the Internet" are being asked for their opinion. I am giving mine. As requested. Is that not the point of aibu?

Mrsdavidcaruso · 22/11/2013 08:14

I refused consent due to the serious situation my SIL faced last year with medical and Social Services intervention a couple of years ago.

My Nephew has a huge and chunky compared to other children of his age, so when he was weighed and measured at his school alarm bells went off.

SIL was informed that there was a serious problem and that her DS needed medical assessment and intervention a letter from Social Services confirmed that.

She refused and all hell broke loose with the authorities.

Now I am sure many people would condemn her, take the stance that she was doing harm to her DS and SS and medical intervention was the right thing to happen.

They would be wrong. My BIL, and my DH and other brothers are HUGE and I mean bloody huge, my BIL is 6’6 my DH is 6’4, my FIL and his Father are the same.

DH is pictures of his male relatives (and sometimes alas Female relatives) going back to Victorian times, where they have towered amongst their peers, be it old school photos or old army photos, you could tell which one was a family member, they were the ones standing at the back and blocking out the light.

These are men who served in both Wars with distinction, some were athletes competing for their counties in one case his country, and almost to a man lived long lives in fact DH granddad is 86 and still works full time.

BIL and SIL did some work while this was going on researching the deaths of the male members of the family, not one died young apart from the ones killed during the war, all of the others lived long and active lives.

But suddenly in 2012 it becomes a problem for the School, SS and the medical profession to get involved in. SIL and BIL went through hell
over this

So I refused to get my DS weighed and measured and will continue to do so

MadAsFish · 22/11/2013 08:47

At no point is anyone stripped or humiliated with degrading comments, the weight isn't announced to the whole class and the child isn't going to be aware of their results unless the parents choose to inform them.

Except all the examples cited in the thread, which apparently don't exist or don't count.

Goldmandra · 22/11/2013 08:50

But YABU to say she should never be weighed and that you don't want her to think about it

I haven't said she should never be weighed. She is weighed at paediatrician appointments. That is for her benefit because they want to pick up any dips in her weight.

I want my DC to think about it in a healthy and confident way.

That is exactly why I have refused the check. I am quite puzzled by the idea that weighing a child is so important.

I prefer to monitor my child's health by how she looks, how active she is and making sure she eats a sensible diet. I can't see how this would be enhanced by me going out and buying bathroom scales to weigh her on. Even if we had bathroom scales, I wouldn't dream of putting her on them.

MiaowTheCat · 22/11/2013 08:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

intitgrand · 22/11/2013 08:56

'As children are vulnerable to neglect/harm in their own home, by their own parent(s), surely it is right to have a safety net to try to identify neglect for the child's sake?
The checks were introduced for that very reason, not for statistics.'

That is categorically not true.A letter goes out to the parent of each child who has consented to being weighed saying that their BMI is x, which puts them on the yth centile, and whether that is in the healthy range or not.That information is aggregated by lea and not stored of followed up.

intitgrand · 22/11/2013 08:57

...and doesn't nearly evetyone have bathroom scales at home anyway

Goldmandra · 22/11/2013 09:06

and doesn't nearly evetyone have bathroom scales at home anyway

Do people routinely weigh their children on their bathroom scales?

Is this a cultural thing?

Does everyone in other countries have a set of scales or is this peculiar to the UK?

I can tell if I've put weight on by how fit I feel and how tight my clothes are. I know what I need to do to change that. I don't feel the need to put numbers on it.

Using a set of scales to confirm what I already know seems a bit odd TBH and making them part of the family culture sounds like a very effective way to make weight an issue for a child.

intitgrand · 22/11/2013 09:12

I don't soppose most people with scales routinely way their children, but the point is that they can if they are interested to know.They don't need the school to do it

intitgrand · 22/11/2013 09:13

weigh

SatinSandals · 22/11/2013 09:17

I would be quite happy to be weighed at work - or for anyone to know my shoe size and height. If I was a year 6 child I would just get in line anyway and hope they wouldn't notice until it had been done-that is if I had a mother who wanted to single me out and make a huge issue of a quick 2 second job.

SatinSandals · 22/11/2013 09:22

It must be incredibly irritating to have a parent who gets a standard letter to have a mundane check at school get into such a tizz about it. I am thankful that mine didn't single me out over things that don't matter. However in my day we lined up for the nit nurse, we weighed the class for maths purposes etc and no one thought the slightest thing about it.

Kendodd · 22/11/2013 09:23

I had a letter home from school yesterday asking for my 8yo to bring her toothbrush and toothpaste into school next week as school nurse was coming to do some work on oral hygiene and asking permission.

I signed, I think it's great. As I said up thread I'm all for the state keeping an eye on children's health. Bring back the nit nurse!

I just don't see how the state routinely checking children's weight, eyes, hearing etc is some sort of Orwellian nightmare others are making it out to be.

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