To feel that my hair colour should be my choice?

[Nyssalina]

I'm 31 and unfortunately going rather noticeably grey. It started when I was 25ish and I began dying it the same colour as my natural hair, occasionally with some highlights.

For various reasons it's been about 5 months since my last 'do', and unfortunately my roots are significant, 2-3inches, and the grey is obvious! But having not seen my own hair in years, and being as it costs upward of £60 for a salon cut & colour, I'd rather like to let it be. My only concern is that I'll look weird whilst it's growing out, and I'm also worried I'll look old, so I thought I'd ask DH's opinion, essentially to get reassurance that I was fine to leave it be.

But when I asked DH (who is also going as grey as I am at 30), in short he said that he thought as I was only 31 I should dye it as I'm a bit young to be going grey. I said that I didn't really care what the general public thought, but that I minded what he thought, and he said he thought it looked nice when I dyed it. But, said I, being as I don't really want to dye it, and it costs as much as it does, then why should I have to pay for it? And he said that he thought I took money for hair out of the joint account, and if I didn't, I should, he didn't mind.

I asked how he'd feel if I said I didn't like his going grey and tactfully left some Just for Men out, and he said hadn't asked me what I thought of his...

Right. So when I get my hair dyed, I now don't have to pay for it from my personal pennies (it'll be a house 'expense'), and my DH has made it clear that he likes it dyed, so am I being unreasonable if I still don't want to, mainly on the principle that I should be able to do what I like with my own hair?

Further up the Fred ?

On the JSing antenatal thread, Fred = thread, which I've now written so often, my phone autocorrects thread to Fred!! I know what I mean!

Uh, I kind of feel for your husband. I know it's not right, but I'll go to the grave as a brunette with caramel highlights.

I wish I were more principled.

yanbu. sad.

wow, some tosspot answers on this thread!

OP, there are colour removing products like color b4 or colour oops which can remove existing dye to an extent, softening root regrowth as you go silver. I am of the opinion that your dh was a hyopocritical twit on this occasion, expecting you to happily accept his opinion that you look worse with your natural hair whilst he tells himself he looks better with his?!

how about "Good for you darling, you look great to me as you are"

I admire you going silver, I often think silver hair on younger women looks fantastic, and when I am ready to finally part company with my gingerness I intend to go white as quickly as I can, probably by cutting into a pixie. Hopefully I'll take after my Dad who was totally snowy white quite young.

HairyLittleCarrot, in my defense I more or less conceded that I was a tosspot.

I'll admit that I've actually never heard this before:
I intend to go white as quickly as I can

You did sort of put him on the spot but hey oh, done now. It is your choice, and if you think you can do it and carry it off without feeling glum when you look in the mirror then go for it.

If you are still thinking about it the below might interest......

I'm not yet 40 and have silver hair, proper, shocking white streak at the front, streaker elsewhere with my original dark. I encountered some interesting responses as it grew out, you have to be prepared for that, but now it's done everyone likes it and comments that it looks great particularly when I'm dressed up to go out. I'm very happy with it and wouldn't dye it again. It will not necessarily make you look older, I have been told by several people that bizarrely it makes me look younger.

But.....

I make more effort in general so a bit of make up, decent moisturiser etc.
My colours that suit have changed so some wardrobe tweaking has had to happen.
People see the hair and not the face sometimes, it can be embarrassing when they clearly realise once they focus that they have dropped their foot in it. Doesn't really bother me but you kind of have to be prepared for it.