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Fucking fizzing after children's party.

999 replies

SugarHut · 17/11/2013 16:14

Ok...this will probably be quite ranty as I've literally just walked through the door. DS until this September was at a super naice private school, started age 3.5, now age 5.5. Impeccably behaved. Had his own birthday parties and the children were a delight to have, been to all of the other children's parties both with me present and without, never ever had a problem..with him, or any other child. The school then jacked up it's fees, and an astonishing amount of children left, resulting in DS being the only child in his year. I didn't see this as a suitable social environment, so took him out and put him in a pretty good local village primary. Since September, he's been involved in a number of fights...and he always gets the bad press, because other children have "started" on him for being the new boy, and DS is quite a strong little tike, and tends to "finish" things. Which I have drummed into him is not the correct behaviour, but (and not being snobby, just factual) some of these children at this school are just badly behaved fighty oiks who pick on/hit DS then go sobbing crocodile tears because they get a bigger punch back. DS and I have never encountered children like this before, and quite frankly, he's doing his best to just run off and tell and adult every time, but realistically, he's a 5yr old boy, and sometimes he inevitably will just windmill back.

So, I take him to his first party at from this new school. The mother is lovely, very welcoming. There are only about 8 other boys there. All other parents have left their DS there, apart from one, the mother of "Fred" who has stayed. My parents live about 45 seconds from the party venue, so I leave DS and my number, saying that if there's any problems (as he's not socialised out of school with any of them yet), I'm literally right there. I pick him up 2 hours later. He's crying, someone has punched him and he's fallen off the bouncy castle. I'm quite no nonsense, had a quick look at him, he was fine, told him "chin up" and he stopped his fuss, he was more just tired. The mother of the party boy said thank you for coming that he had been fine, DS and the party boy shook hands which was super sweet, DS went round saying bye to everyone. As I leave "Fred's" mother comes up to me. "Just so you know, he's been terribly behaved." Then stands there waiting for my reaction. "Er, has he?" "Yes" Waits for more reaction. "Ok, sorry about that?" "He's been punching, kicking, we've had to pull him off loads of children." "Oh my god!!! Really??" "Yes." Stands there again. "Um, I'll speak to him when we get home" She then pulls a face at me like she's the Queen. I left. On quizzing DS, as per usual, they had been playing rough and tumble type games, and generally "battling" and "Fred" had hit DS a number of times, DS had then put him in his place so to speak, and Fred's mother had hauled my DS off, sat him down and told him he wasn't allowed back on the bouncy castle until she said. I then discover it was Fred that punched DS in the head causing him to fall off the bouncy castle. DS doesn't lie...he is honest to a fault. He openly admits that he punched back. "But they kept battling me Mummy!!" He said that Freds' mother was basically just on his case the entire time, telling him he was a badly behaved little boy, and lots of "you never EVER do that again" and Fred didn't get told off at all.

I'm fuming. I know I should have stayed, but I didn't want to look all precious. I know I need to calm down. Do I speak to the party boy's mother on Monday and ask how DS actually was, or just go straight to this woman and tell her that she "never EVER" speaks to my fucking DS like that again. Or do I leave it. Sorry for this being so long. Didn't want to drip feed.

OP posts:
CairoPrankster · 21/11/2013 15:29

This is my first post on this thread.
Sugar your last two posts did bring a tear to my eye, I feel so proud of you!

usualsuspect · 21/11/2013 16:21

Oh give over with your lecture.

Beeyump · 21/11/2013 16:28

SugarHut, oh, I have seen the error of my ways! Thank you, thank you! I...I think I will be able to turn over a new leaf, from being the shameful person that I previously was.

usualsuspect · 21/11/2013 16:34
Heartbrokenmum73 · 21/11/2013 16:34

God, the arse-licking on this thread is making my teeth ache!

Also, I'm fairly certain I don't believe for a second that the woman's husband was googling Sugar.

And before people steam into me, my ds has started at a new school this term. All three of my dc have - we've moved to a whole new part of the country. DD has settled into secondary school beautifully, and DS1 has also managed really well with the transition. DS2 (who's 5)? Well, he's struggled tbh.

He's one of the youngest in his year group (Y1) and hasn't managed too brilliantly with all the changes that the jump from FKS to KS1 brings. He's used to the free-play aspects of Reception - he's found all the sitting still for longer periods hard, but he's getting there.

Now, for the first half-term I was getting stories of him hurting other children in his class. Their previous school was in a fairly affluent area (but not private, and we're a working class family) and it had a mixed bunch of families. The new school is in a much more deprived area, although the school itself is fantastic. At no point have I thought to myself 'well, it's obviously the other children, bullying him because he's different'. I've worked with the teachers to find solutions to his behaviour, ensure that DS has apologised when he's hurt someone and supported the decisions made by the school at each turn. And they've been bloody wonderful about it.

I'm amazed by some posters on here having a go about OP being bullied while at the drop of a hat referring to the other Mum as 'a fucking cunt'. Someone who isn't here to give their side of the story. Incredibly hypocritical. We have no idea how much of any OP is true at any given time and I find the whole 'get revenge' mentality quite pitch-forky!

But then, I'm only an oik, so what do I know?

Beeyump · 21/11/2013 16:38

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usualsuspect · 21/11/2013 17:05

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usualsuspect · 21/11/2013 17:05

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RoseRedder · 21/11/2013 17:26

another oik here

It's a shame you had bring in the 'oh I'm famous' marlarky in to things

I highly doubt that Freds Mums husband was googling you, or perhaps he was, but unlikely that he was then she shared it with all the other mums and they laughed?

I have no idea who you are, nor do I want to, however you are obviously bothered by who you are and think everyone is judging you on your public persona, perhaps overlooking the fact that they might just be reacting to you as a person

suebfg · 21/11/2013 17:38

Good advice from jeansthatfit. I think I've worked out who you are OP and I couldn't even find out what 'pull a Wendy' meant.

Anyway, if you are who I think you are, I can sort of understand why you get the reactions you do and it's probably nothing to do with your looks or celebrity. I guess it's up to you to either change or reinforce people's preconceptions of you. Once they realise you aren't a threat, I'm sure it will all settle down.

MarmiteNotVegemite · 21/11/2013 17:40

I'm loving the internet psychics on here.

limitedperiodonly · 21/11/2013 17:49

I highly doubt that Freds Mums husband was googling you, or perhaps he was, but unlikely that he was then she shared it with all the other mums and they laughed?

What are you saying? People are always telling me the strangest things about other people and of course, I always believe them.

Because the world is full of eccentric people.

MyMILisfromHELL · 21/11/2013 17:49

Oh gawd. Delurking. Is the OP who I think she is?

Hmmm...

RoseRedder · 21/11/2013 18:02

the op obviously wants people to clock onto who she is

personally I have no clue as an ex wag, ex stripper , ex model are ten a penny in the magizines I read (and all get the spotlight on for perhaps 4 years max, then miss it when's it's gone)

Apacolipstick · 21/11/2013 18:16

This thread is so intriguing- full of mystery (is the OP who you think she is? is she who SHE thinks she is?) full of strife (poor battling boys) full of heroism (kind empathetic posters, 5 yo DS) full of villains (posters who seem less fond of Sugar, Fred's mum, Fred's googling, goggling Dad, Fred's self), full of ssssugar! Hope there is a happy ending with the mums and boys all playing nicely

MyMILisfromHELL · 21/11/2013 18:20

Whoever sent me a pm. I deleted it by mistake. Please resend Grin

suebfg · 21/11/2013 18:24

It's the Mumsnet Christmas pantomime!

MyMILisfromHELL · 21/11/2013 18:27

Whoever sent me a pm. I deleted it by mistake. Please resend Grin

MistAllChuckingFrighty · 21/11/2013 18:27

OP got exactly what she wanted from this thread. Attention. Notoriety (I can't call it celebrity ) and erm, attention again. Job done Smile

currentbuns · 21/11/2013 18:27

I've not read the whole thread, just enough to conclude that the OP is pretty obnoxious, whoever she is. A conclusion I believe I already reached after reading another thread of hers, a couple of months back.
And I'm definitely with HeartbrokenMum re the inexplicable, fawning behaviour.
As you were...

Cakecrumbsinmybra · 21/11/2013 18:39

OP, I have read about 7 pages, but I haven't got all the way to the end so I'm sorry if I miss out vital bits.

However, based on what you are saying about the school, if it was me, I would really be looking at another school - state or private. Admittedly this is based on my limited knowledge of school (DS1 isin Y2 of a state school, DS2 is only little), but the violence you describe and the school's apparent lack of interest in doing anything about it doesn't sound very normal to me. I can't think of anyone I know who has had problems with children physically fighting at school. I go and help out at school once a week and have never seen anyone fight. Lots of physical contact especially with boys, but punching in the face? At 5? I agree that your son needs to be shown different ways to respond to provocation, but your school seems to tolerate this sort of behaviour? (including your DS)

And whilst you are a private person, if you do want him to stay at this school, or indeed settle into any other school, then you will need to make more of an effort.

I really hope you can sort the situation for your DS.

limitedperiodonly · 21/11/2013 18:42

It's the Mumsnet Christmas pantomime!

Oh no, it isn't

wannabestressfree · 21/11/2013 18:44

I am completely lost and clearly very dense..... If someone would pm me I would be eternally grateful

Cakecrumbsinmybra · 21/11/2013 18:47

God, your last post OP - cringe. It's an Internet forum ffs.

Retroformica · 21/11/2013 18:53

Great you are having play dates. About your son though, if he continues to be on the receiving end of unresolved bulling, I would seriously wonder what the culture and ethos of the school is. Is bulling generally quite tolerated by staff/head. Do one or two children rule and the rest fall into the bulling pack, afraid of being picked on. Is the discipline in the school ok? Are there lots of victims if bullying throughout the school as a result of a culture of bulling?

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