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Fucking fizzing after children's party.

999 replies

SugarHut · 17/11/2013 16:14

Ok...this will probably be quite ranty as I've literally just walked through the door. DS until this September was at a super naice private school, started age 3.5, now age 5.5. Impeccably behaved. Had his own birthday parties and the children were a delight to have, been to all of the other children's parties both with me present and without, never ever had a problem..with him, or any other child. The school then jacked up it's fees, and an astonishing amount of children left, resulting in DS being the only child in his year. I didn't see this as a suitable social environment, so took him out and put him in a pretty good local village primary. Since September, he's been involved in a number of fights...and he always gets the bad press, because other children have "started" on him for being the new boy, and DS is quite a strong little tike, and tends to "finish" things. Which I have drummed into him is not the correct behaviour, but (and not being snobby, just factual) some of these children at this school are just badly behaved fighty oiks who pick on/hit DS then go sobbing crocodile tears because they get a bigger punch back. DS and I have never encountered children like this before, and quite frankly, he's doing his best to just run off and tell and adult every time, but realistically, he's a 5yr old boy, and sometimes he inevitably will just windmill back.

So, I take him to his first party at from this new school. The mother is lovely, very welcoming. There are only about 8 other boys there. All other parents have left their DS there, apart from one, the mother of "Fred" who has stayed. My parents live about 45 seconds from the party venue, so I leave DS and my number, saying that if there's any problems (as he's not socialised out of school with any of them yet), I'm literally right there. I pick him up 2 hours later. He's crying, someone has punched him and he's fallen off the bouncy castle. I'm quite no nonsense, had a quick look at him, he was fine, told him "chin up" and he stopped his fuss, he was more just tired. The mother of the party boy said thank you for coming that he had been fine, DS and the party boy shook hands which was super sweet, DS went round saying bye to everyone. As I leave "Fred's" mother comes up to me. "Just so you know, he's been terribly behaved." Then stands there waiting for my reaction. "Er, has he?" "Yes" Waits for more reaction. "Ok, sorry about that?" "He's been punching, kicking, we've had to pull him off loads of children." "Oh my god!!! Really??" "Yes." Stands there again. "Um, I'll speak to him when we get home" She then pulls a face at me like she's the Queen. I left. On quizzing DS, as per usual, they had been playing rough and tumble type games, and generally "battling" and "Fred" had hit DS a number of times, DS had then put him in his place so to speak, and Fred's mother had hauled my DS off, sat him down and told him he wasn't allowed back on the bouncy castle until she said. I then discover it was Fred that punched DS in the head causing him to fall off the bouncy castle. DS doesn't lie...he is honest to a fault. He openly admits that he punched back. "But they kept battling me Mummy!!" He said that Freds' mother was basically just on his case the entire time, telling him he was a badly behaved little boy, and lots of "you never EVER do that again" and Fred didn't get told off at all.

I'm fuming. I know I should have stayed, but I didn't want to look all precious. I know I need to calm down. Do I speak to the party boy's mother on Monday and ask how DS actually was, or just go straight to this woman and tell her that she "never EVER" speaks to my fucking DS like that again. Or do I leave it. Sorry for this being so long. Didn't want to drip feed.

OP posts:
Beeyump · 18/11/2013 16:49

I want to see the private jet picture, please oh please. Envy (That's the face of a very jealous person.)

usualsuspect · 18/11/2013 16:50

Different calibre aka oiks.

AlexReidsLonelyBraincell · 18/11/2013 16:52

I don't think he should change schools. It has been mentioned enough throughout the thread by many other posters however.

Wantapony · 18/11/2013 16:55

Am I the only person in the UK who keeps trying to guess which 'celebrity' the OP really is?!

fromparistoberlin · 18/11/2013 16:56

AlexReidsLonelyBraincell

i like your username , and I dont often say that to people

Daykin · 18/11/2013 16:57

I know you're ignoring all my posts but I think you are massively more likely to get an affirmative response if you ask one kid after school. You can take them to soft play or pizza hut or the cinema or the park and drop him at his house afterwards.

AlexReidsLonelyBraincell · 18/11/2013 17:03

Aww cheers, ParisToBerlin though i cant claim proper credit for it.
I like yours too, I sing "and every disco I go in my heart is pumping for lurve" to myself whenever I see you around MN. Then it becomes an ear worm and I curse you. Grin

I don't even know why I am joining in this thread, it's excruciating. The bum lickers made it all worth it though. I NEVER lol, but that did for me.

SugarHut · 18/11/2013 17:07

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Binkybix · 18/11/2013 17:08

What's ODFOD?

PigletJohn · 18/11/2013 17:10

The same thing happens to an oik who goes to a posh school.

New and different is enough.

kids are just naturally horrible.

monicalewinski · 18/11/2013 17:13

Did you speak to your son's school re him not settling in and sorting out some strategies for him?

flapinko · 18/11/2013 17:14

ODFOD - oh do fuck off dear

Ev1lEdna · 18/11/2013 17:14

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SugarHut · 18/11/2013 17:15

Yes monica, I've arranged an appointment with the school for later this week.

OP posts:
fromparistoberlin · 18/11/2013 17:16

oh do fuck off and die?

just a random guess

Grin

why am I still here too, waves at braincell,wishes OP luck, fucks off

Binkybix · 18/11/2013 17:16

Thanks.

Binkybix · 18/11/2013 17:17

Not thanks for fucking off obviously!

nooka · 18/11/2013 17:23

My parents sent us to a school where we didn't fit in and it was very very difficult for us to make/keep friends. I don't recall any issues at primary though, 5 year olds aren't generally that socially aware to be too bothered about how other children speak, I'd not expect that for a few years.

One thing to note though is that my mother didn't have a clue why she didn't make any school mum friends (and didn't translate that in her head to us having problems too). She thinks that she is totally normal (and in her own social circles she is), and hasn't a clue that she naturally sounds very patrician, and that some people find that really very off putting and difficult. Not because she is a snob or they were jealous, just because she is to many people just very 'other', and that makes her difficult to approach.

If you really are very different and there are no other families similar to you at the school then you really might need to think about that long journey because things might just get worse not better.

Plus unaddressed bullying is a frequent reason why people change schools, generally it is a sign of lack of faith in the school and no reflection on the child.

heartisaspade · 18/11/2013 17:26

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Jbck · 18/11/2013 17:36

Oh do eff off dear.

Jbck · 18/11/2013 17:37

Should have refreshed or typed quicker Blush crossposts.

Sparklymommy · 18/11/2013 17:37

Unfortunate turn of phrase I used! It wasn't meant as an insult to either "set". What I meant was that Ime the social expectations ARE fundementally different.

I am, and consider myself to be, working class. My children, all four of them, are in a state primary school in a village which is small and in a relatively well off area. My children, especially my eldest, have a lot of friends in private education who basically have an awful lot more than my children can realistically have.

Our state, village, small school has a lot of affluent families in it and we do feel that the children are getting an exceptionally good primary education. But if they were in private education then you would notice a different social circle to that in most state schools. In a private school my children would not be able to compete with the children of affluence.

That is not to say that the children in state schools are oiks. I do not believe that in the least and my post was not saying that at all.

I'm not making my point very clearly at all. Too tired and full of cold to think straight.

But apologies for any offence caused in previous post. Wasnt well thought out either!

Sparklymommy · 18/11/2013 17:40

nooka just put what I was trying to say much more eloquently than I did!

AmyMumsnet · 18/11/2013 17:45

Hi everyone,

Thanks for your reports. We've been through the thread and deleted troll-hunting, personal attacks and repeats of posts which have been deleted.

Can everyone please bear in mind the talk guidelines going forwards.

Rhinosaurus · 18/11/2013 17:45

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