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Fucking fizzing after children's party.

999 replies

SugarHut · 17/11/2013 16:14

Ok...this will probably be quite ranty as I've literally just walked through the door. DS until this September was at a super naice private school, started age 3.5, now age 5.5. Impeccably behaved. Had his own birthday parties and the children were a delight to have, been to all of the other children's parties both with me present and without, never ever had a problem..with him, or any other child. The school then jacked up it's fees, and an astonishing amount of children left, resulting in DS being the only child in his year. I didn't see this as a suitable social environment, so took him out and put him in a pretty good local village primary. Since September, he's been involved in a number of fights...and he always gets the bad press, because other children have "started" on him for being the new boy, and DS is quite a strong little tike, and tends to "finish" things. Which I have drummed into him is not the correct behaviour, but (and not being snobby, just factual) some of these children at this school are just badly behaved fighty oiks who pick on/hit DS then go sobbing crocodile tears because they get a bigger punch back. DS and I have never encountered children like this before, and quite frankly, he's doing his best to just run off and tell and adult every time, but realistically, he's a 5yr old boy, and sometimes he inevitably will just windmill back.

So, I take him to his first party at from this new school. The mother is lovely, very welcoming. There are only about 8 other boys there. All other parents have left their DS there, apart from one, the mother of "Fred" who has stayed. My parents live about 45 seconds from the party venue, so I leave DS and my number, saying that if there's any problems (as he's not socialised out of school with any of them yet), I'm literally right there. I pick him up 2 hours later. He's crying, someone has punched him and he's fallen off the bouncy castle. I'm quite no nonsense, had a quick look at him, he was fine, told him "chin up" and he stopped his fuss, he was more just tired. The mother of the party boy said thank you for coming that he had been fine, DS and the party boy shook hands which was super sweet, DS went round saying bye to everyone. As I leave "Fred's" mother comes up to me. "Just so you know, he's been terribly behaved." Then stands there waiting for my reaction. "Er, has he?" "Yes" Waits for more reaction. "Ok, sorry about that?" "He's been punching, kicking, we've had to pull him off loads of children." "Oh my god!!! Really??" "Yes." Stands there again. "Um, I'll speak to him when we get home" She then pulls a face at me like she's the Queen. I left. On quizzing DS, as per usual, they had been playing rough and tumble type games, and generally "battling" and "Fred" had hit DS a number of times, DS had then put him in his place so to speak, and Fred's mother had hauled my DS off, sat him down and told him he wasn't allowed back on the bouncy castle until she said. I then discover it was Fred that punched DS in the head causing him to fall off the bouncy castle. DS doesn't lie...he is honest to a fault. He openly admits that he punched back. "But they kept battling me Mummy!!" He said that Freds' mother was basically just on his case the entire time, telling him he was a badly behaved little boy, and lots of "you never EVER do that again" and Fred didn't get told off at all.

I'm fuming. I know I should have stayed, but I didn't want to look all precious. I know I need to calm down. Do I speak to the party boy's mother on Monday and ask how DS actually was, or just go straight to this woman and tell her that she "never EVER" speaks to my fucking DS like that again. Or do I leave it. Sorry for this being so long. Didn't want to drip feed.

OP posts:
Hullygully · 18/11/2013 15:40
gordyslovesheep · 18/11/2013 15:42

beeump its like an episode of only connect

usualsuspect · 18/11/2013 15:42

AH, the photos Grin

gordyslovesheep · 18/11/2013 15:44

beeyump even ...I am too thick to spell

tracypenisbeaker · 18/11/2013 15:44

usual why wouldn't there be? Slebs are people too ya know.

OP are you Natalie Cassidy Grin

diagnosticnomansland · 18/11/2013 15:46

The assumptions of posters knowing exactly what people's thoughts and motives are on this thread is....perplexing.

tracypenisbeaker · 18/11/2013 15:46

Oh wait, she doesn't have a son I don't think. But maybe you changed your 'DD' to a 'DS' to stop you from being outed.

Oh but then you said you were a model. Never mind...

LimitedEditionLady · 18/11/2013 15:51

Swings and roundabout.You cant be around them 24/7 so you dont know whos wrong.I dont think you are a snob like some people seem to but you may have stereotyped a but.Just dont leave him at a party again and freds mum shouldve butted out she was probably biased and not her place to discipline your child like that.

BitOutOfPractice · 18/11/2013 15:51

I'd just like to say that if I ever got a chance to go on a private jet I would send a picture of it to everyone I know. Everyone I've ever known. And quite a few people I might know in the future. Just sayin'

Hullygully · 18/11/2013 15:51

The last time Sugar had a thread there were some most vociferous Sugar Protectors. Are these the same ones? Are they paid? I think we should be told.

Beeyump · 18/11/2013 15:51

Ahh, Gordy. Sad THICK indeed.

Beeyump · 18/11/2013 15:53

Sugar Protectors! Grin I would like a couple for everyday life.

SugarHut · 18/11/2013 16:07

I do see the point that getting food out somewhere is potentially a pain in the arse. But it's kind of non negotiable that anyone I don't know is coming to my home until I've met them socially elsewhere a couple of times first. Unless you have experienced what it's like for people to take the piss and post photos of your house on Facebook then you won't know how horrible it feels and I'm fucked if I'm setting myself up for that again. I think some Christmas activities are a great idea though.

OP posts:
SugarHut · 18/11/2013 16:14

Fwiw, my house is actually nothing spectacular either.

OP posts:
roslet · 18/11/2013 16:26

It's your son's home too. I think it is really unlikely that you would be unlucky enough to have people take photos and post them on Facebook again!

LoofahVanDross · 18/11/2013 16:26

I would say Fre's mum stayed either because Fred is a nightmare and she needed to keep a close eye OR Fred is a little shy and mum is very overprotective.

OP I would ignoreFred's mum and go with what the party host has told you. And next time stay at the party and see for yourself what goes on. It is very difficult to do anything when you weren't there really.

Dogonabeanbag · 18/11/2013 16:30

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AlexReidsLonelyBraincell · 18/11/2013 16:34

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Ev1lEdna · 18/11/2013 16:40

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Sparklymommy · 18/11/2013 16:41

Have skimmed most of this thread but read all the op's posts.

For what it is worth I think you'll find Fred's mum is pre-judging you op, and especially doesn't like the fact your ds was at private school and probably feels that you and ds feel that you "better" than them. I am not saying this is how you are, but is Fred's mums attitude.

By bristling/confronting her the chances are you would confirm her beliefs in her head. Kill her with kindness. Invite Fred to the pizza party, make a point of it.

Jealousy is a very real reason for bullying. I have watched my dd (a friendly, talented child) struggle with children who treat her appallingly because she does well. We have a selection of dd "wannabes" (again small pond syndrome) and its devastating to watch my beautiful darling child repress her own talent to grasp friendships.

Your ds is probably finding it very difficult to go from private school to the state school. The children he will be mixing with now probably are a different calibre and it will take time for him to adjust. Seriously, talk to the school. Do they have a friendship bench? And if so do the children understand the concept? (I have four children, recently asked each of the what the friendship bench was for and got some VERY interesting responses!)

As for the party, chalk it up to experience. And maybe mention it to party boys mum.

Hth! And have some Wine you deserve it after some of the responses you've had on this thread!

SugarHut · 18/11/2013 16:42

There is no longer a place at the other school. Although why you think he should realistically bail and change schools is a mystery to me.

OP posts:
JanineStHubbins · 18/11/2013 16:43

Your ds is probably finding it very difficult to go from private school to the state school. The children he will be mixing with now probably are a different calibre and it will take time for him to adjust.

Shock Shock Shock

NotAnotherPackedLunch · 18/11/2013 16:46

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NotAnotherPackedLunch · 18/11/2013 16:47

X- post with Janine Grin

BoosterBondageSapphire · 18/11/2013 16:48

Your ds is probably finding it very difficult to go from private school to the state school. The children he will be mixing with now probably are a different calibre and it will take time for him to adjust.

Noooooooooooooo! You cant be serious? Can you?