Oh no, it's started!

[phantomnamechanger]

Self elected mummy emailing other parents in the class to tell people she will organise a collection for the teacher & TA for Christmas presents. No thanks. I will source my own. My child will have an input. I will spend what I like without anyone else knowing how much I "put in". The teachers will know my child thought about them and chose something specially for them. I would rather not be made to feel like "small gifts are rubbish, one big one is better". Bah! It is not what other classes do! we only do joint collection when someone had retired/left/had a baby - and then it is offered as a voluntary thing and done through the school office, not a parent. what are your views, and how do you deal with these bossy "helpful" mummies? or do you think its a great idea are you that mummy ?

I changed my email address and didn't let the class rep know, so now I am in blissful ignorance about these daft collections!

They do collections for every occasion though, and want £10 each time. They can sod off.

i don't buy teachers/tas christmas presents full stop.

£10!! per head, so that's £300/class? crikey!

A tenner is way too much to expect people to contribute! Im shocked. I usually spend about £2 on a tea light and a tesco card or something along those lines!

Yeah, £10. It's a fucking joke. When ds teacher left in April, she got £400 worth of westfield vouchers, as of course, some parents gave more because they are better than the rest of us

Ds first term at the school I was skint, still sorting out benefits after leaving my ex, was struggling to feed us - I gave £2 for the Christmas collection. The cheeky bitch (who is the 'alpha' mummy of the class) asked me for more . Stupidly, I gave her the rest (I was new and wanted ds to fit in) and it meant I couldn't eat for two days. Never again after that.

It depends on how much they're asking for and how they do it, I think there should be a set limit as well to make it easier rather than the awful guess of, "Is £5 stingy? Am I expected to give a tenner or will I look a bit flash?".

I personally prefer being told "everyone's contributing £2 so we can get a nice big £50/£60 present" than feel the pressure to find a crappy little present which will be a minimum of £5, probably £10 once I get a card...

loopy that's awful!

I thought that giving a tenner was FAR too much - clearly we're all pretty stingy in Yorkshire!

We had that this week too. i just sent an email back saying we preferred to do our own bottle of wine presents thanks!

Another reason why we dont do Christmas presents for teachers...ever

Aibu to think we should get our dc to make the teachers something as its the thought that counts?

£10 going rate here as well and I think it's pretty steep, particularly as teachers get it twice a year - at Christmas and end of the school year. Am campaigning to at least scrap the Christmas one this year.

I have to say, though, that in our school this is led not so much by one bossy mum, or the parents association pressurising the others, as various parents asking if there is a collection because they would like to give something but can't be bothered/don't have the time to sort out their own thing! And that starts it off.

Aw I just give them a bottle of wine. They've earned it.

DD2 gave her bemused teacher a sunflower last summer

I don't see the problem with a joint class gift - I would rather the teacher got something nice instead of 32 cheap boxes of chocolate. Dd always makes a card just from her so there is still input from the children.

At our school the going rate is about £10, nobody has ever moaned if you only give a fiver (I do live in a fairly well off area)

I know that teachers get paid for their job and obviously some parents don't feel they deserve a gift, but seriously I can't think of anything worse than spending all day every day with 32 kids so I think they deserve a nice treat

I don't do teachers gifts and I don't understand why this has become the norm.

It's just another way for idiot parents to try and out do each other, and they probably think that it will some how get them 'in' with the teachers

Actually, I think I might start a thread about it

I am a primary school teacher and would HATE to think that parents had been dragooned into giving money. I am always very grateful when a child (parent) gives a small gift, especially if it's one the child had chosen. In fact, one of the very nicest presents I ever received was given to me about three years ago. The child had drawn a picture which the mother had then mounted onto coloured paper. The child had written a message on the back and it had then been laminated and it's a bookmark. I LOVED it, and especially loved knowing the cost had been minimal. (On the other hand, I always give wine to the teachers of my children as I know they bloody well need it!!)

jaquelinehyde - how is buying a gift at Christmas just another way for idiot parents to out do each other?

I have always bought or donated to a gift for dd's teacher, I don't talk about it to the other parents, I do it because my daughter has been lucky enough to have lovely teachers and I would like to show some appreciation to them.

Just because you don't do it does not make me or other parents an idiot.

It's good to hear you give wine lily. I was thinking about giving wine to my DD's nursery teachers (I don't know how they cope with 9 6-18 month olds every day!), but wasn't sure. Definitely going to now! They look like they need it!

lily, rest assured most of the parents I know are happy to have good teachers for their kids and are happy to contribute to or buy a gift at Christmas.

My dd had problems with bullying that weren't very popular as it made them have to admit they had a bullying problems. That was early on in primary school, no trouble since but only her supportive teachers got presents for the rest of the rears, with a card made from dd.

My dc have now changed school and we live in a completely different part of the country to where we were before.

Wtf is this class rep stuff I keep reading about on here? I always get quite alarmed at people being asked to give their email address to someone who is probably a near stranger (unless you're good friends) and that they have a list of everyone's contact details.

Umm, no thanks. School have my contact details because, y'know, they're school.

I'm glad I've never been approached about all this because I'd end up pissing people off by refusing to take part in it all

This makes me feel old. When I was at school, parents never ever bought teachers presents. The kids used to have a whip round to buy a teacher a leaving present, xmas present, etc. So it would be something like a small cheap box of chocolates.

I am not a teacher but I like many others do a really good job all year round and I get paid for that..where's my present??!

It also makes me feel very sad for all the other support staff that work at the school. Teachers and a few lucky TAs get all these gifts of appreciation yet the cleaners, caretakers, dinner ladies, office staff, school nurse to name but a few get pretty much nothing.

Without all the staff at a school the teachers wouldn't be able to keep doing the amazing jobs they do.

WholeNutt Xed posts You clearly don't deserve anything

May well out my self here a bit.

My sons class is two class rooms knocked though so 2 teachers, 2 ta's, 2 keyworkers, 2/3 nursery workers. I'm dreading thinking I need to buy for all of these.

My son does not really like his teacher he likes his key worker and the deputy head. Really I just want to buy for the key worker, she is the one who gives me updates on my son and how he is progressing, she is the one he goes to etc

Since they started full time 8 weeks ago ( one of which was half term) the teacher has already had nearly 2 weeks and parents evening cancelled due to her not being there.

How do you give wine to a reception worker anyway?