Oh no, it's started!

[phantomnamechanger]

Self elected mummy emailing other parents in the class to tell people she will organise a collection for the teacher & TA for Christmas presents. No thanks. I will source my own. My child will have an input. I will spend what I like without anyone else knowing how much I "put in". The teachers will know my child thought about them and chose something specially for them. I would rather not be made to feel like "small gifts are rubbish, one big one is better". Bah! It is not what other classes do! we only do joint collection when someone had retired/left/had a baby - and then it is offered as a voluntary thing and done through the school office, not a parent. what are your views, and how do you deal with these bossy "helpful" mummies? or do you think its a great idea are you that mummy ?

I don't know why people think it a recent thing either. My eldest is 32 yrs and we always got a Christmas present for teachers all through primary school.
I can't see why people get into such a state about it, give to a collection, get your own or don't give at all, no one is remotely bothered.

Is this an English thing? Never heard of it in Scotland. Individual presents here, I buy for Xmas and end of year, and my DDs choose. My mum was a primary teacher in 70s too, and there was massive excitement about all the separate presents when she came home at end of term.. A big present takes all the fun, and all the sentimentality out of it.

We have class reps who ask for c£10 each Christmas and end of term. First Christmas DD wanted to choose present so we told Class Rep we were doing our own thing. So class rep goes to school, calls for children whose parents had contributed to sign teacher's card, non contributors not allowed to sign. DD was upset - I had a word with class rep and asked that she either let everyone sign or ask for signatures outside class as the left-out children were upset. She agreed, until end of term when she did the same thing again. DD said she wanted to go with the group present next time as felt bad to be left off card (even though she gave her own card and small home-made present). So we ended up doing both :(

wineandroses that makes me

A collection can only be from the parents, not the children, so it's slightly obscene to blackmail the children over it.

I can honestly say that I have never encountered this after five children between us. I have never bought a teacher a gift for Christmas/End of term. The only gift i gave was to one teacher for getting my son through one of his GCSE's because she went far over and above what she had to do. I bought her some cookbooks as she taught Food Tech and I had heard her lament the lack of inspiring modern books in the schools collection. She was thrilled.

I would never buy a teacher indiscriminate gifts like this for doing their job just as I would never expect gifts for doing mine. My teacher friends would rather not have them.

Wine - you need to get the headteacher involved if that happens again. That is so despicable it makes me feel choked with the rage.

If there are parents on here who have ever behaved like this they need to take a fucking good look at themselves .

Oh we have a class superman too, in the past I've bought my own gift then been suckered into a group collection too... urgh.

In my day teachers got literally nothing. Except lots of holidays of course

I just tell it straight. We give our own gifts from us.

That's it.

One alpha was a twat and sarcastic about it but I can't bear any of that crap. It's always about the organiser putting themselves in what they deem to be 'pole position'.

It also always turns out the joint gift looks half-arsed anyway because quite a few of the class don't want to participate.

These 'do-gooders' learn eventually!

In the past I've made cakes for the postman and the bin men, given a little gift to the school bursar who is over-looked, stuff like that. It doesn't have to be organised, or regular. Showing someone you appreciate them makes both parties feel good, whether it's a Tiffany bracelet, a Sainsbury's hamper or a rabbit made out of a cork and bits of old fuzzy felt.

Give the teachers a small box of chocolates, anything else just ends up in the back room at the local charity shop, there's only so many "Worlds best teacher" mugs, cups, statues, figurines, a school staff room can accommodate, and large sums of money in gift voucher form are embarrassing and a mine field of potential unjust accusations of favoritism towards up coming siblings in the class are are far from welcome.
( source, a family member who is also a dept head)

Good post, Shoutymomma

Presents for teachers are from children in my view so they should get the opportunity to make or choose them. My dd is generally more present orientated than my ds so her teacher got more presents, mostly things she made (brownie have featured quite heavily). We gave more of a present from our family when dd finished primary as her last teacher also taught ds and was fantastic so we found a nice pot with plants that we knew she liked and dd decorated it.

I'm happy to do collections for retirements, babies etc, but not when it's the children who are wanting to be appreciative. Our PTA organise a special Christmas meal for all the school staff (at school) where we all send in a dish. I liked that.

I'm a class rep but a collection for presents doesn't seem to be the done thing at DS's current school whereas it was at his previous school. But it wasn't a large amount of cash - different currency at the time as overseas but was equivalent of £4 per child which got a decent but not OTT gift. One year the teacher had hurt her back a while before and had had a few massages that she loved but couldn't afford to do regularly so we got her a voucher for a massage. Another teacher constantly had cups of tea on the go so we got her an insulated mug with a lid and a selection of nice teas etc. We knew the teachers well so could get something thoughtful. However if anyone wanted to do their own thing that was fine too. And all children signed the card. It was suggested one year by another mum that i just get the children whose mums had donated to sign. That wasn't happening!

Now DS is at a Prep School so I do a token gift - wine or chocolate. I don't get for every subject teacher but just for form tutor and house master.

As a teacher, I would feel very embarrassed at a £300 gift and actually wouldn't be able to accept it. We are not allowed to accept gifts that cost more than £25. A card is enough.

The class collection is entirely missing the point and it is no longer from the children. We did homemade or we got something because my child knew the teacher liked it. We didn't spend vast amounts of money and often we could recycle something.
I can't see the point of not involving the child. I bet the class rep never gets the children together and actually asks them what they want to get. I remember when I was in year 6 we, as a class, wanted to get our teacher something and we collected the money, knew what we wanted to get and gave it to the infant teacher who bought it for us. I think it sad that parents take over and get something impersonal, like vouchers, when the teacher would much prefer something with thought, or homemade.

I teach in a boys' school. In charge of 26 lovely year 11s in my form. I get a few cards at Christmas, lots of thankyous and an occasional gift - often a special offer chocolate orange they've bought in Tesco - YUM! :D
I also write cards for all my form and they all get a homemade cupcake at Christmas and the end of the summer term.
As I see it we are celebrating Christmas together and it's lovely.
Enforced giving. Not lovely. I would be embarrassed to know someone had gone without food to get me a present.

I asked all my.teacher friends a while ago, and the general consensus was that home made from the children was beat, something small was all that was necessary, but that homemade food was a bad idea unless they know you're a champion baker or do so professionaly because otherwise it might end up in the bit. "best teacher" gifts are nice but no-one has room for 20+ of them per year!

The one male among the 12 or so of them was the only one who said he'd prefer the booze or chocolates

"...in the bin" not "bit", sorry!

And "homemade was best"

Ugh I shouldn't post before I have a cup of tea!

Homemade food is best avoided, although we have done homemade marmalade or chutney.

8 year old Ds likes to drag me off to Accessorise and choose a piece of jewellery for his usually very young and pretty female teachers. He really takes his time over it, wraps it, and writes a card himself. This year he's got a male teacher who he's none too impressed with, so I'm probably off the hook present wise.

If children themselves want to get their te her or assistant a gift at Xmas, why not let them chose a Xmas tree bauble or ornament?

yet again i wonder if i actually exist in a parallell universe! i have 3 children, aged 6-18 who have gone through every stage of education in nice state schools. never once have i heard of a class rep, or ever been asked for cash for a present.

surely a card and a token gift is it? why would you do anything else. the teachers i know would be mortified at the thought of anything else. I do a card in which i write genuinely how the teacher/ta has helped my child (a few years i have skipped) and always buy the ta the same. thats it - i would tell them to feck off if an alpha mum asked me!

I buy all the children I my class a small xmas present ( pencils or perhaps a diary/notebook and chocolate) first because many of them get very little ( and second because I quite like them all .) It's nice to get something in return but (first) I get many presents at home and (second) they might not all like me !!