Oh no, it's started!

[phantomnamechanger]

Self elected mummy emailing other parents in the class to tell people she will organise a collection for the teacher & TA for Christmas presents. No thanks. I will source my own. My child will have an input. I will spend what I like without anyone else knowing how much I "put in". The teachers will know my child thought about them and chose something specially for them. I would rather not be made to feel like "small gifts are rubbish, one big one is better". Bah! It is not what other classes do! we only do joint collection when someone had retired/left/had a baby - and then it is offered as a voluntary thing and done through the school office, not a parent. what are your views, and how do you deal with these bossy "helpful" mummies? or do you think its a great idea are you that mummy ?

£10 is reasonable if you do want to chip in. We've just been asked for £30 for teacher & TA's birthday presents this term!!

Crikey LadyCecila! £30! Madness.

No one can ever know what the perfect present would be for a teacher so whether it's collective and organised or done on a one-by-one basis, or whether it's £300 or 50p, it's the gesture of appreciation that counts, surely? Personally, I would get my dc's teachers the moon (well, half each they'd have to share it!) if they wanted it. They care for and dedicate themselves to helping my dc learn and that's no way of thanking them enough.

I've never been involved in a collective gift as far as I can recall but I'd imagine there'd need to be a good relationship between all the parents for it to work without any resentment or criticism. Human nature [shrug]

We have this for our youngest. I think it does the sentimentality/meaning out of it tbh. We also have it for birthdays too - where everyone contributes to a big class present for each child rather than everyone buying a little present. In some ways it makes it easier because I don't have to think of ideas for presents for children I don't really know but in another way it just seems so 'grabby' or something. I don't know...

I prefer to do a whole class thing. I didn't organise it myself, but I would if I was asked to. It used to be a £2 donation from anyone who wanted to give, although that was a few years ago as my children are at secondary school. I think teachers must get a bit fed up of the chocolate, wine, mugs, picture frames, and have a whole cupboard full of stuff they won't use. We used to give M and S or Next vouchers, so that they could buy something they wanted.

I don't like wine so perhaps that sways my judgement. If people give me wine, I am very grateful, but as I don't like wine, DH gets it.

I agree with the hand-made presents from the children though, that is nice.

Now my DC are in secondary school, we only buy for the form teachers, as it gets ridiculously expensive otherwise. We also give a box of biscuits or sweets for the teaching staff and another for the office staff who are fantastic.

Oops sorry for typo that's there's

My DS is 19 now but when he was at school we had a class rep system. The class reps were there to help out with cake sales, summer fares and help to sort out volunteers on behalf of the PTA to fund raise for everyone's children, for the benefit of all the children. I don't understand why anyone can possibly fault that; really I don't.

All those years ago we introduced a collection of about £2.50 at Christmas. It meant that the teacher and the TA both got a decent present and card with everyone's thoughtful message on it. It wasn't compulsory and there was no pressure. Parents could still buy their own presents if they didn't want to participate. I was pleased to be honest. I was one less job to do at a buy time of the year and meant the staff got a nicer, more worthwhile present. What's to criticise. I think by the time my DC were leaving the primary a fiver was usual and tbh by the time you buy two cards and two presents a fiver really doesn't go far.

FWIW when I really thought a teacher had been fantastic I used to drop a note to the head and mention it to the chair of governors when I saw her.

I get a good salary and don't expect my organisation or customers to buy me presents but it's jolly nice and jolly motivating to receive a kind word or a little gift because they think I do a good job. Who could possibly be resentful of that.

Just home-made cards from my DCs at Xmas, nothing says 'Seasons Greetings' like a Dalek with a pudding on it's head.
DH was given a (screwtop) bottle of wine in a one year that turned out to be quarter empty.

... and if I remember I take a big box of biscuits in at the start of the last week to help the staff through all the carol-service & nativity shenanigans.

SHould have said - the requested contribution is £10 for teacher, £10 for TA and £10 for birthdays.

I am a class rep and we do a class collection, no minimum/maximum, no individual hassling. If you want in then fine, if not do your own thing or nothing at all. Does feel a bit weird considering my dc always want to do their own thing so we don't actually contribute, but if it makes some people's lives easier then great. I do personally think it probably works out cheaper to bung a fiver in per class than buy for all the teachers and TAs even if you do craft stuff. Nevertheless my dc prefer to do their own thing and the teachers always graciously accept their homemade decorations (supervised to guarantee a minimum standard) and chocolates.

I have never heard of the idea of contributing to every child getting a birthday present, bumblymummy, a mad idea that I certainly wouldn't do! Mine bought a present if they went to the party and was nothing to do with school.

No, I've never heard of the children doing birthday presents, birthday child brings sweets or cakes in to hand out at the end of the day, but that's all.

We aren't allowed to accept any gift or hospitality over £20. We have to inform management and return it.

Amazed these schools don't operate on the same policy

YEs, Satin, it seemed a bit strange to me but it was already organised when we started so we've just kind of gone along with it. As I said, in some ways it is nice to not have to try to think of present ideas when you don't really know the kids but it just seems a bit ... I don't know! Strange I guess.

Sorry - can't think of a better word to describe how I feel about it! 'Strange' will have to do.

I can see from a parent's perspective getting something more substantial for £100 rather than 20 individual presents worth £5 each is attractive, BUT my dc are almost guaranteed to enjoy the cheapest tat in their stockings more than the stuff I spend more money on and would probably enjoy opening 20 individual presents than one present. There is also something to be gained for the giver in thinking about what the other person might enjoy.

Usually they buy vouchers for a toy shop and then the child can pick what they want so they could choose lots of little things or a big thing. I think it does make sense but it just feels a bit impersonal or something...Although I think DS2 will love being set loose in a toy store to pick his own present(s). :)