Oh no, it's started!

[phantomnamechanger]

Self elected mummy emailing other parents in the class to tell people she will organise a collection for the teacher & TA for Christmas presents. No thanks. I will source my own. My child will have an input. I will spend what I like without anyone else knowing how much I "put in". The teachers will know my child thought about them and chose something specially for them. I would rather not be made to feel like "small gifts are rubbish, one big one is better". Bah! It is not what other classes do! we only do joint collection when someone had retired/left/had a baby - and then it is offered as a voluntary thing and done through the school office, not a parent. what are your views, and how do you deal with these bossy "helpful" mummies? or do you think its a great idea are you that mummy ?

Chatty - just buy a present for the KW & the Dep H if you want to, you don't have to buy for all of them or better still, let DS make something :)

I don't think there's any need to be rude about it all. People should feel free to do what suits them and if someone tries to help to facilitate a group gift, then good on them - as long as they aren't being pushy. If they are then that person is a problem, not everyone who is trying to help. (LOL - no axe to grind here, there's not a hope in hell I'd organise it or be a class rep, I'd rather put bamboo down my finger nails).

I'll be buying wine this year - the teacher is lovely, she has been very helpful & kind and I know she will enjoy the wine! If someone goes to the trouble of organising a class present I'll contribute to that too. However, no one should feel 'forced' to do either.

Can I ask the teachers here - would you like getting given a bag of Christmas biscuits clearly made by the child? DS really enjoys baking them (and doing peculiar shapes) and enjoys giving them to particular teachers (class teacher, violin teacher etc). I know it doesn't cost much - but it does actually take some time and is largely done by him on his own. I do supervise so I know that they are suitable for human consumption () - and we normally eat the ones that got a bit over done or cracked ourselves, and they are very nice!

DP is a primary teacher, and never expects anything of any parent. Most appreciated though are chocolates and wine. I admit we occasionally laugh at the malodrous re-gifted cherry bath foam, or ceramic cottage, but these are often chosen by the children themselves who often love to give something. No-one should feel they haven't given 'enough' - it shouldn't be about the amount or quality you receive, but the excitement of giving.

I'd be more than happy to hand over a tenner and let someone else do the legwork. One less thing to do! Imagine the teachers prefer it too.

But there shouldn't be any pressure as to how much or who gave what etc.

You need to be careful how much you give to teachers. Dd is doing a PGCE this year and the school where she is doing her placement have rules about how much a teacher can receive as presents.

. I'm a class rep, I thought I was being helpful. It isn't compulsory to contribute there is no set amount (though if people as I will give them the standard contribution). To be honest it suits everyone at my DCs school. The parents can express their appreciation for the wonderful teachers (should they wish to) and the teachers get something they actually want.

fail to see why you just can't say no thanks I don't want to do it.

Genuine question - are teachers permitted to accept anything other than a very very small token gift? I'm certainly not in my gov job. Even something as small as a small box of chocolates is frowned upon, and has to be declared to and approved by my manager. Quite rightly - it means no one ever feels like the care of the people I work with can be influenced by gifts.

When I was the class rep (I didn't want to be, nobody else would do it), every parent gave me money for the teacher Christmas present. I sent an email saying people could give if they wanted to and how much they wanted to. They were glad to give me the money and get the task out of the way. One less thing for people to do and can work well if done properly. And to the person who "only" gave £2 upthread, that's perfectly fine in my collection and it was outrageous of your rep to ask for more. The total is just collected up, nobody but me knows how much each individual has given. And I don't care either, I just want the task out of the way as well and the teacher to feel appreciated.

Gosh cannot wait to tell our collector I'm getting personal, small gifts!! The snooty faces lol.

Only me and one other parent do it. My sister works in a school and she saves all her pressies and cards for Christmas day, it's much more touching and she appreciates them. If she gets sweets she brings them in in January and shares with them.

I prefer to contribute to a bigger gift. Each to their own. There's no need for smart arse strikeouts.

The class reps on here sound nice!

Honestly, ours and her cronies are bloody awful. They take the money off you themselves in the playground and give each other glances when it's not a tenner (or above). They even send their equally annoying children round the playground asking parents.

The past two christmases I have avoided them, and the leaving presents, the maternity presents, end of year present collections. When it comes to the end of summer term and christmas, ds know that for a couple of weeks before I will be collecting him hiding round the corner and to come find me there

Our local authority have more or less banned these kind of collections. I think there is a maximum £20 gift value.

I might be one of those mums

At the end of last year, I emailed the class to see if anyone wanted to contribute anything towards gift vouchers - I did specify that the amount was totally up to the individual, and all names were signed equally on the card (not in gold, silver and bronze!!)

Quite a few parents like to do this as it is far easier and cheaper than buying individual gifts. Some contributed, a lot didn't (it was a very unpopular teacher, so I had a few snotty emails back)

I don't particularly see the necessity for Christmas presents, though.

Right click the email and bounce if back to them...I do this to anyone I don't want to answer...

Mistlethrush I'm a TA and I can say yes, yes and thrice yes to the made by your child biccies! I work in a private school and am usually given a class gift (vouchers) and some individual presents. If people WANT to give something, I would rather the child had input as that would mean something to me. I have often received things that obviously had no thought put into them and I wondered if the parents just felt obliged to give me something. (Although I will admit that getting a job lot of vouchers is more appealing to me than wine, but that's because I don't like it!) The moral here is: don't feel obliged to give, only do it if you/your child genuinely want to and a hand-made card means more than a scented candle.

Can I also say in response to those saying that people in other jobs work just as hard but don't get presents, I always think of it more as exchanging gifts at Christmas, rather than me being given something for my work - we always give presents to every child too. I certainly don't think I deserve presents more than anyone else and I would expect the teacher to get more than me.

Finally, to the poster who mentioned the non-teaching staff at schools - at my school it is the teachers that give them presents and the head gives EVERY member of staff a gift.

DS is in Reception and I have resolved not to get involved in class collections. I had planned to give them all cards that DS had made and written in because many teachers who post here say that is what they appreciate most.

I may weaken if an organised parent emails me with a good idea and DS is refusing to cooperate with the card production. I think giving hundreds of pounds' worth of gift vouchers is a bit over the top though.

I am a secondary teacher and am amazed every year by these threads. I have had presents from y13s given in their last lesson before they leave and very occasionally get a Christmas card from one of the y7s but in our school at least noone ever gets or expects to get the sort of presents described here. I really don't mind though, the idea of parents of my form chasing others for money doesn't sit well with me.

op ignore this daft mare and buy if you wish or not.

I am a TA and my favourite thing is a card or home made whatever from a pupil.

I don't expect anything, why should I?

Does it get competitive amongst the teachers in the staffroom as to who gets the most/best presents?

Entirely up to you, but a lot of parents expect there to be a collection and are grateful to be able to just hand over the money and let someone else do the choosing, as class rep I have been pushed into doing them once or twice, but don't like doing so because I always get one or two responses like yours. However the majority of people who do there own thing are polite and express thanks for taking the time to do it even if they aren't taking part themselves. Equally when it's been other class reps doing it I have never felt obliged to contribute or to give a minimum amount.

their not there.

In defence of this, a couple of parents got together a organised a book of drawings from all the children in the class, bound by hand and given to the teacher. They even included some blank pages so that the couple of children who had not contributed, could draw their teacher a picture in the book.

I hope you're talking about a private school, as most councils and LEAs have a policy about public sector employees accepting hospitality, gifts or money. Our council policy ckearly states that no employee can accept a gift of more than "token" valye (£5), can't accept money or vouchers, and needs to declare all token gifts to their line manager befire accepting.... don't know if that applies to Academies as they employee teaching staff direct.

I never liked the "present for the teacher" tradition, but in the last week of every term I used to bake cakes and take them to staff room with a card thanking ALL staff for their hard work, then Dcs would write individual cards to teachers.

of course all that stopped once they got to secondary

Nothing wrong with a collection. You just have to make it clear that people can contribute exactly the amount they want and that it is optional. Most people are glad to abdicate responsibility for buying and wrapping a present at a busy time of year.

DS's class rep last year asked every family to contribute $300 (we are in US) toward our teacher gift fund. I queried this with her and gave somewhat less. This was not for a single gift but for a selection of them throughout the year, including Christmas, birthday, Valentine's Day and Mother's Day. Yes, really.

I learned later that the class rep for the other Kindergarten class had demanded more than this from her families, and a furious email exchange ensued between various parents who felt this was over-the-top. Eventually the class rep's husband sent an email around saying that the amount was final, that there was to be no more discussion about it, and that everyone should just pay up and shut up. The Head was dragged into the argument and everything got very heated.

This year we have been told that class reps are no longer allowed to do collections and that only individual gifts will be permitted. I am relieved but feel a bit sad for the teachers, as the ones I know personally tell me that while all the little $5 gifts are sweet, most will end up in the bin.

I'd consider 10GBP quite reasonable after all this nonsense.