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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Children on a school trip allowed to pet my dog... I'm bloody LIVID.

299 replies

HarderToKidnap · 15/11/2013 12:38

Should I phone the school about this? Every week I walk up to a local cafe with dog and toddler DS. I secure dog to pushchair on a short lead, he tucks himself behind the pushchair and snoozes in the sun. DS and I have cake and tea and sit by window so I'm next to dog, who is outside.

Today lots of primary school kids were out on a trip going from shop to shop collecting money for something. They went in the cafe before me and they left as I arrived. I placed my order, turned round to look at dog out of window and there must have been ten or twelve children crowded round him stroking him. He was covered in children. Teacher next to them smiling benignly and agreeing with kids how cute he was.

Dog is ten year old toy breed, is very cute but also very very nervous of children and has snapped at kids before. I never let unknown children stroke him. I was LIVID. For on,e he could easily have bitten one of the children and then they would be hurt and he may be put down. For two, who in their right mind lets lots and lots of children crowd an unknown dog???? I marched out there, said loudly "he doesn't like children and they shouldn't be touching him without asking the owners permission!" I was quite sharp but not snouty. Teacher said "yes yes OK" without really making eye contact and shepherded them off.

Should I phone the school concerned? Or was my sharp comment enough? Dogs are left unattended outside shops etc quite often and really the teacher should never be allowing the children in her charge to touch them, let alone crowd them. AIBU?

OP posts:
RIZZ0 · 15/11/2013 14:34

If you leave your dog tied to your buggy, the message you are unwittingly giving out to other children is "this dog is safe because it is with the child.

Sadly I've had to remind children over and over again not to pet my dogs without checking, because they see my kids and assume they're safe.

You need to protect yourself against the worst case scenario, that your dog attacks a child... And that would be by not leaving your nervous and previously aggressive-to-children dog, un-attended.

The fact you refuse to address the matter of why leave your own toddler alone with a dog that doesn't like children speaks measures about your ability to assess the situation and take advice.

HettiePetal · 15/11/2013 14:34

Yes, of course tell them. But if they are having a moment and forget/don't care, then stuff 'em....let them get bitten by a snappy dog that's been left alone in a public place?

OK then Hmm

EldritchCleavage · 15/11/2013 14:35

I'm just waiting for the suggestion that we should tie up and muzzle toddlers to protect all dogs. So overheated is this thread, it won't be long, surely...

SleepyBum · 15/11/2013 14:36

Oooh I've been quoted!

I feel wise.

shallweshop · 15/11/2013 14:36

I agree that the teacher was wrong for letting the kids stroke your dog but I think she will have got the message and that it is unnecessary to contact the school. My Kids are dog mad but they have been taught from a very early age never to approach a dog without asking its owner.

I don't think it's unreasonable to leave the dog tied up outside. I sometimes leave my dog tied up outside our local shop for a few minutes whilst I pop in for something. She doesn't like strangers approaching her and would bark at them if they tried.

Original poster
HarderToKidnap · 15/11/2013 14:37

Oooh, chipped, have you been waiting to copy and paste that all day? It's so original and witty. If you hadn't have been so eager to use it you'd perhaps have read the thread and seen that a) I'm not going to leave the dog again b) around 50% of people thought I should actually call the school and c) I agreed that it would BU to do so and I'm not going to. But please don't let anything boring like what has actually been written get in the way of your HILARIOUS and literally-never-seen-on-AIBU-before funny retort.

OP posts:
MrsOakenshield · 15/11/2013 14:40

no, I don't believe that a dog attached to a buggy is automatically child-friendly - they are obviously OK with that child but I would never assume they would be fine with my child - for a start, she's not used to dogs, nor am I, so between us we wouldn't know the best way to behave - so we stay away.

HeadfirstThroughTheTimeVortex · 15/11/2013 14:40

Our collie is amazing with people including children, but gets extremely anxious when tied up outside shops etc and people approach her. She once snapped at somebody trying to pet her. We have never put her (or anyone else) in that position again, it's not fair. We never ever tie her. Ever. we always make sure we are not in a position where we have to.

The teacher WBU but so were you.

Thewhingingdefective · 15/11/2013 14:40

I agree with you that they shouldn't have been touching without permission, but I think your words were probably enough. Sounds like it was enough to remind the teacher something s/he already knew but hadn't put into practice.

I do understand why you were cross, but thankfully no harm was done.

NoComet · 15/11/2013 14:40

YABtotallyU
Lots of pupils at DCs rural school have dogs, they would crowed round and make a fuss of an unattended dog before the teacher had a chance to say no.

If your dog is snappy muzzle it!

Then children will know to stay away

Original poster
HarderToKidnap · 15/11/2013 14:42

Penguins, sorry, you would see if you could report me if I called up and said it hadn't been appropriate for a teacher to allow her charges to crowd an unknown dog? Check to see if there was anyone to report me to???? Is that serious? You can see how Stalinist Russia happened, can't you.

OP posts:
Original poster
HarderToKidnap · 15/11/2013 14:43

Anyway, DS is awake now so have to go, but thank you everyone for viewpoints. V interesting and thought provoking. The dog sleeps in his cot with him, that IS ok isn't it? He's only bitten him a few times whilst they're asleep, but you lot are making me doubt everything now!

OP posts:
bellybuttonfairy · 15/11/2013 15:00

I think that leaving a dog unsupervised is ok as long as you realise that he could be approached and you believe he is safe.

Leaving a dog unattended and then being livid when its approached as you believe he is unsafe then YABU

Chippednailvarnish · 15/11/2013 15:02

"Rethink" doesn't actually mean you won't be leaving your non-aggressive, but has snapped at children twice before, dog un-muzzelled. Does it OP?

As for you find my post HILARIOUS, it would be even funnier if it wasn't discussing your completely inadequate response to everyone saying you are wrong. Nor will my post be HILARIOUS when you dog snaps at a child and catches them with it's teeth.

Let's hope your dog isn't half as aggressive as you have been on this thread.

Raptorrethy · 15/11/2013 15:04

Perhaps the OP is better positioned to judge whether her OWN DOG is a danger to HER OWN DC than other posters here Hmm

Gileswithachainsaw · 15/11/2013 15:05

Tbh I don't like all this tying dogs up outside shops etc. They are frequented by so many people, never mind whether the dog would attack, I'd worry someone would hurt my dog or steal my dog. Saw a programme the other day when a dog was hit by a car cos someone stole the leash.

Raptorrethy · 15/11/2013 15:06

no, I don't believe that a dog attached to a buggy is automatically child-friendly - they are obviously OK with that child but I would never assume they would be fine with my child

Exactly.

Raptorrethy · 15/11/2013 15:07

Penguins seriously?! If you were the Head you would report the OP for having her dog tied up outside a cafe???

PenguinsDontEatPancakes · 15/11/2013 15:17

Stallinist Russia - sailing pretty close to Godwin's law there OP.

You left a dog who, by his own admission is prone to 'snapping' unattended where you were too far away to intervene if anything happened. That is irresponsible behaviour where you were not in control of your animal. If I was the Head, if you called me up and said "I realise now that I shouldn't have left him outside and I won't be doing it again but...." I wouldn't think anything of it. If you came on 'livid' and half as aggressive as you have been on this thread then (along with speaking to my staff member) I would assume you would be highly likely to do the same thing again and I would be looking at whether there was anyone to report you to.

I don't think any dog should ever be left unattended and tied up outside a shop. Leave the dog at home if you can't take him in. I will never as long as I live understand why some dog owners think that it is their right to leave dogs in locations like that. I teach my kids not to go near dogs (though god knows enough dog owners in the park seem to want to undermine my work by encouraging my children - who have shown no interest- to pet their dog). I teach my children to respect animals. In return, I e

PenguinsDontEatPancakes · 15/11/2013 15:18

sorry, hit return.

In return I expect dog owners to keep their dogs under supervision in public places. I think that that is a fair trade.

FreckledLeopard · 15/11/2013 15:24

Penguins - so should all 'dog areas' specifically designed to let dog owners tie their animals up outside a shop be banned? Should we ban outdoor cafes providing bowls of water to dogs? Perhaps dogs should never be let off the lead, never be allowed outside or better, still, let's ban them altogether Hmm?

The OP's dog was safe, was tied up and was minding its own business when a hoarde of ignorant school children and a teacher decided to throw caution to the wind and interfere with the dog's solitude. Frankly, if they got bitten, I can't say I'd have much sympathy.

ormirian · 15/11/2013 15:25

Don't leave a nervous dog tied up outside a cafe. My dog is very placid in general but I have only just started very occassonally leaving him outside our nearest supermarket, in a secluded place behind the racks of trolleys so he doesn't get moithered by people and there is no risk to him or anyone else. And only for a few minutes.

Teacher shouldn't have let them touch him but I guess she saw that his reaction was initially Ok and assumed he was a child-friendly dog. And I would tend to assume a dog left unattended is OK otherwise he wouldn't be there!

PenguinsDontEatPancakes · 15/11/2013 15:32

No, generally speaking I don't think dogs should be tied up and left outside shops. They are animals and they should be treated with respect and either supervised or left at home. In parks where they are exercising is a totally different matter. They are free to move away from any behaviour they do not want. At an outdoor café you are with your dog and supervising them. If you wander off into a shop you are not being fair on your dog or those who may come into contact with him.

If that dog is nervous and snappish, then I think you've moved from being unfair to being irresponsible.

LtEveDallas · 15/11/2013 15:32

Harder Grin

I have no problem at all with a dog being tied outside a shop for a short period. NO-ONE should approach ANY dog that they do not know. Growing up my dog wasnt even kept on a lead, she would sit patiently waiting for me to get the papers before we walked back home. She was an amazing dog.

I wouldn't leave a dog outside a shop longer than a few minutes - so having a coffee would be a no. But then I wouldn't have left the buggy outside either - where I'm from it would have been nicked! If couldn't leave MuttDog though - she'd start howling as soon as I was out of sight.

Teacher should have kept a much closer eye on the kids, and she absolutely shouldn't have let them pet the dog, any dog.

Parents need to teach their kids NOT to approach ANY dog they don't know, and even if they know them they should ask permission.

Oh and dogs that are on leads tied to stuff that belongs to someone else (ie buggy/pushbike) - more likely to be 'guarding' so even MORE possibility of biting. Very stupid thing for the teacher to do.

tabulahrasa · 15/11/2013 15:36

"The OP's dog was safe, was tied up and was minding its own business when a hoarde of ignorant school children and a teacher decided to throw caution to the wind and interfere with the dog's solitude. Frankly, if they got bitten, I can't say I'd have much sympathy."

It wasn't safe - if it was safe random members of the public wouldn't have been able to get to it. You might not have much sympathy, but legally the OP would be completely liable.