To think a judge should not be able to stop a mother from breast feeding?

[HolidayArmadillo]

m.wfmz.com/Judge-orders-Northampton-Co-mother-to-stop-breastfeeding/-/15946050/22880612/-/1yrm3wz/-/index.html

If this is true I think this judge has been wholly out of order. What about this child's rights? And any father worth their salt would not demand this.

I know I would rather have a relationship with my father than ebf - no one can even tell in later life anyway if you were bf or not

I dont think we have enough on this story to judge, she says 'the judge said something like...' - what did the judge actually say?

was she being awkward with contact/ building relationships?

I'm all for bf but come on! a relationship with your parents is surely more important to your development? there is nothing in the article to say he was abusive or she had issues with his care etc, its literally all about bf!

Sea,

I'm not sure if these items are still available but twenty years ago when I first had children a gadget for dealing with inverted or flat nipples could be brought over the counter in places like boots,they looked like soft thimbles with a suction tube and bulb pump attached if I remember correctly the idea was start using in early pregnancy and they helped in some way to assist with being able to latch on.

Have no idea if they worked but it may be something you might want to look into should the need arise.

A relationship with your dad is not dependant on overnight contact and not wanting overnights to happen is not the same as refusing contact.

Sock lansinoh do them I called it a mini Turkey baster but it is a latch assist

www.lansinoh.ie/shop/lansinoh-latch-assist/

Or else a large syringe turned inside out which takes a bit more explaining so I definitely recommend the above product.

My mother breast fed me but she wasn't with me. You might be right, if she had been there she may well have been able to help.

And I did try and give him as much breast milk as I could. I think I might be able to do it next time because I didn't actually know how you could make yourself lactate with your fingers and things like that which I do now after pumping for 5 months.

Also if your Mum teaches you how to do it she would have more consideration about the mother, if you are tired or need help or things like that. The breast feeding support workers just treated me like some kind of milch cow and kept accusing me of finding breastfeeding disgusting and making excuses not to do it. But the worst thing was being put on a regime of only having an hour out of every 4 to sleep which in practice was about half an hour. It was like some kind of awful sleep deprivation torture. All the mothers around me who had ff or bf without struggle could sleep while their babies weren't feeding but I was made to stay up and pump. I felt like I was being punished for trying.

I was very well supported at home and also had a very easy baby who slept through straight away. But I'm sure many women in the same hospital would have been pushed over the edge to post-natal depression. I'm absolutely convinced that the pressure to breast feed must tip a lot of women into PND, I'm fairly certain it's happened to a few of my friends.

That should be sea not sock but based on sock recommendation.

Thanks SockReturningPixie, I will look into that.

Seasickgal that is truly awful. The one thing I had on number 3 was lots of support, that was not there on 1 and 2, tonnes of irrelevant useless advice but no support, you sound like you went above and beyond. Pumping is my idea of hell I had to do it on all 3 and it is a huge chore.

Incidentally though this nob should be going to visit the baby in the mother's area. Taking her for a walk or to a coffee shop or the library. That age is far too young to be away from the Mum overnight, let alone two nights.

PMSL seasickgirl talk about telling it like it is.

That looks like a modern version of exactly what I'm thinking of,thanks for linking I couldn't as I had no idea of even what it may have been called.

It says 'Pumping isn't an option. Jessica says she can't pump enough milk for two days, and Jasmine won't take a bottle.'
It sounds like this father is being controlling and selfish to me.

It is bonkers isn't it Opalite. I am absolutely certain that 90% of fathers who were still with the mother wouldn't dream of taking the baby away for 2 nights at that age. And the other 10% are wankers. Why is it okay just because they've split?

Thinking about it I went to a hen night overnight when ds was 10 months. DH was looking after the kids. Ds took a bottle because I was back to work but DH was thrilled to hand over the reigns after what could only have been at most 18 hours of broken sleep and a few bottle feeds through the night. 48 hours would be very long for both DH and Ds even though DH is incredibly hands on.

That judge needs/-sacking

Oh for God's sake. Please shut up the lot of you. you are boring and shouty. Go to bed.

I'm a bit meh about this tbh, the judge hasn't asked her to stop bf, he has asked her to look at alternatives while the baby is in the fathers care. Reading between the lines, it takes a fair old while for contact cases to go to court, at least a few weeks, so why hasn't this mother been trying to work out a way for the babies father to have contact. Sounds to me as if she doesn't want the father to have access to the baby, which is wrong (abuse or neglect aside) . I bf dd3 (now 9mo) until 7.5 months. Dd2 was a bottle refuser so I introduced a bottle early this time to try to make sure that didn't happen again. Baby's dad moved out when she was 3.5 months old, and up until 6 months I didn't feel she was ready to have overnight stays, then at 6 months we started doing the odd overnight with him sleeping here, with a view to him having her overnight with the older kids. In other words, I accepted his right to a relationship with his daughter, I accepted her right to a relationship with her father and I did what I could to facilitate that.
Dd2 did eventually take a bottle at about 5.5 months, but it took 2 days of me offering nothing but bottle which was the hardest thing I've ever done

Caitlin is right that breastfeeding is just one of a range of healthy behaviours that can make a difference to a child.

However, when we're talking about a baby under six months there really is nothing else (other than not smoking over them and taking the usual care over keeping them at the right temperature and avoiding accidents) that will make more of a difference when it comes to keeping them away from the GP and avoiding hospital admissions.

going back to the OP and the issue about the father having the baby overnight - this is an American story isn't it? I don't believe a judge in the UK would agree that a baby this young should be separated from the primary caregiver for two nights at a time.

I think the dogged refusal of so many people to accept that breastfeeding is healthier for the majority of babies than formula feeding is the most interesting thing about these discussions.

People really believe that doctors, midwives, epidemiologists, the senior bods in the NHS, the Royal college of Midwives, the Royal college of obstetricians and gynaecologists, the Royal college of paediatrics, you name it, that all these people and organisations are together involved in a huge conspiracy to spread false and distorted information about baby feeding.

It's really bizarre.

And the argument rolled out in support of the view that the benefits of breastfeeding are trivial is this: 'well you'd be able to tell by looking at children which ones were breastfed if it REALLY made a difference'. ! As if we should apply different standards of proof for breastfeeding than we apply to every single other bit of health advice.

It's like trying to reason with an angry 12 year old.

My 10 month old bf DS stopped as this granny's last night, he has expressed milk from his sippy cup and usually sleeps through because he knows he can't have boob if I'm not there. If he does wake my mum has given him full fat cows milk before as they can have it but not as their main drink. I don't need to express to keep supply up any more, always had a brilliant supply and the odd night here and there doesn't affect it now because it's so well established.

I highly suspect the lady is using the fact she bf's to prevent contact, in which case I agree with the judge, it is possible if she compromises which she needs to do for her daughters best interests.

I find the dogged refusal of people to accept that a 10 month old baby is old enough for overnight contact bizarre but then we all have our little foibles

Getting overnight contact established early is much more beneficial to the child than delaying it and making it into a big deal at a later date.

I have also noticed that on threads where people don't want their children away from them for even a micro second the OP tends to be someone who breast feeds.

The psychological well being of the child needs addressing too and that includes looking the long term benefits of starting overnight contact early

nobody really believes there's a conspiracy or that bfing isn't healthier. people are just trying to make themselves feel better about their own choices

I feel sorry for any future daughter/daughter on law that breastfeeds around mylovelyboy.

So ignorant on the subject.

And as for the social services comment.

Best give up my job then.

Stupid ignorant woman

I think the judge was right too and nice to see a sensible fair approach being taken.

I have no issues on how people choose to feed their child as long as they are feeding he/she. Just as there are bad fathers there are bad mothers who purposely deny contact or try and delay it purely for their own reasons or to punish the other person.

The mother can still bf, she just cant use it as an excuse to let the other parent be involved with their child. Both are parents and one is not more important than the other.