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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to have said no to mil?

93 replies

ginmakesitallok · 09/11/2013 20:13

Discussing Christmas presents with mil this afternoon and she said she was thinking of getting dd1 a TV for her room. I said no, we don't want her to have a telly in her room yet. Dp came in at that point and also said no (thank God!). Sil then hinted that tv was already bought. Aibu to stick to my guns and say no TV? Surely she should have asked us before getting a big present like that anyway??

OP posts:
IneedAsockamnesty · 09/11/2013 20:14

I would never buy a tv for any child without parental consent yanbu

YellowDinosaur · 09/11/2013 20:15

YANBU. I wouldn't want our boys to have their own TV either and this is one of the few things as a present I'd put my foot down on

CMOTDibbler · 09/11/2013 20:16

YANBU - putting a TV in a childs room is a def a parent only decision

WooWooOwl · 09/11/2013 20:16

Yanbu. Your DP needs to make it very clear that your dd will not be having a TV in her bedroom, whether it's already bought or not is irrelevant. Presumably she has a reciept and can take it back.

KepekCrumbs · 09/11/2013 20:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LindyHemming · 09/11/2013 20:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FrequentFlyerRandomDent · 09/11/2013 20:17

Yanbu. TV in room is just so bad for sleep and family interaction.

If bought, it should be returned before the cooling off period so that your MIL gets her money back. Do her a favour and tell her nicely.

RandomMess · 09/11/2013 20:19

How old is dd1 btw? I'm assuming she's under 18 Grin

Def a parental choice thing.

Mylovelyboy · 09/11/2013 20:20

Firstly, how old is dd1. I think im in the minority here so far Blush Cant see the problem if it is controlled. Whats wrong with having 'for example' some cartoons on in the room while playing. Take the telly and keep it for when dd is bit older if you feel that way. Sounds slightly precious if you dont mind me saying Smile

Original poster
ginmakesitallok · 09/11/2013 20:23

Sil said that surely we could just put it in the spare room for her? But then a) it would cause loads of arguments with dd2 who would want to watch "her" programmes, b) they would just watch more telly up there instead of playing/reading, and c) we'd never see them!

What can we suggest instead???? Both DDS are spoilt rotten and can't think of anything they want ( we're getting her a new bike). She's 10

OP posts:
Pimpf · 09/11/2013 20:25

Stick to your guns, she should never have bought a present like that without checking with you first. No no no no no no, it's a completes entrance and fuck the sil, is got sod all to do with her, she likes it, she can have it.

Pimpf · 09/11/2013 20:26

Tickets to see a show, swimming lessons, riding lessons, music lessons, circus skills. There's so many more things they could do.

Original poster
ginmakesitallok · 09/11/2013 20:26

Mylovelyboy, where's the benefit of having cartoons on in the background?? In some ways I think it would be great, we'd get the living room back and maybe be able to watch telly ourselves before 8!

OP posts:
RandomMess · 09/11/2013 20:27

How about trips out. A trip to the zoo or build a bear b*dy warehouse with PIL as a gift?

My dc would love a treat like that.

Dh and I have a TV in our bedroom and it gets used like a 2nd lounge but there of 6 of us in a tiny house and because it's our TV they have to share it and we can over rule and turn it off Grin

slothlike · 09/11/2013 20:28

YANBU - assuming your dd is still a child. Hopefully the TV can either be returned or used elsewhere, but putting a TV in a child's room is definitely a decision for the parents.

CrapBag · 09/11/2013 20:28

YANBU. If its already bought then that's their tough fucking tits.

I won't have tvs in my kids rooms. I am hugely in the minority out of people I know, but I don't care. I don't like it.

It is a parental decision.

If you can't think of anything, can they not have money to put into a bank account?

Original poster
ginmakesitallok · 09/11/2013 20:28

Tickets for something maybe.... She already has music lessons free through school, has just stopped swimming lessons after 4 years of them.

OP posts:
CrapBag · 09/11/2013 20:28

YANBU. If its already bought then that's their tough fucking tits.

I won't have tvs in my kids rooms. I am hugely in the minority out of people I know, but I don't care. I don't like it.

It is a parental decision.

If you can't think of anything, can they not have money to put into a bank account?

Mylovelyboy · 09/11/2013 20:31

I do see where you are coming from . please believe me im not goading. Once they have tv in room then they have a tendency to stick to it like glue. Why dont you keep it (might come in handy one day) sod the sil. Nosey mare. Perhaps I was wrong in saying about cartoons. bit silly idea really. Its not worth having family bundle about it though.

TidyDancer · 09/11/2013 20:32

It's not precious OP, you are right to stick to your guns on this one.

Are you sure it's already bought? What did SIL say? Maybe it would be worth taking her to one side and saying how serious and adamant you are about the no tv rule so she can perhaps say something to MIL to ensure this is nipped in the bud.

I'm usually one to fight the ILs corner when parents try to control presents, but this isn't about that. You have made a parenting choice and they need to understand that.

Debs75 · 09/11/2013 20:43

I wouldn't want one if you thought it would cause problems between your dd's.
I resisted a TV for dd1 until she was 11. I to am in the minority, DP had one at 6 and his gran said I was cruel. Best friend had one in her dd's room at 2! She didn't do bedtime stories and her dd went to bed watching Disney videos, her 2nd dd does as well. I find it very sad that they go up to watch tv to go to sleep. I know your dd's are older so maybe more able to control tv watching but again it is your choice.

Original poster
ginmakesitallok · 09/11/2013 20:56

And a practical question, of she did get one do we need an aerial or something? We have sky downstairs, with no other aerials. Would a telly with free view built in just need plugging in?

OP posts:
dietcokeandwine · 09/11/2013 20:58

YADNBU.

Two of my cast-iron parenting rules: no TV in the mornings before school, and no child of mine will ever have a TV in their room!

I would possibly consider accepting a TV for her if, for example, you have a playroom or family room it could go into. We don't currently have a separate playroom, but if we get one in the future I'd certainly think about getting a second telly for the kids' use so I could avoid bloody Pokemon

But TVs in the bedroom - no way.

parakeet · 09/11/2013 21:00

OP! Stick to your guns woman!

everlong · 09/11/2013 21:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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