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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to have said no to mil?

93 replies

ginmakesitallok · 09/11/2013 20:13

Discussing Christmas presents with mil this afternoon and she said she was thinking of getting dd1 a TV for her room. I said no, we don't want her to have a telly in her room yet. Dp came in at that point and also said no (thank God!). Sil then hinted that tv was already bought. Aibu to stick to my guns and say no TV? Surely she should have asked us before getting a big present like that anyway??

OP posts:

EvaBeaversProtege · 09/11/2013 21:01

No, stick to your guns.

Mil has been trying to buy dd a mobile phone for YEARS.

We got her a windows one there for her 12th birthday, but mil has now started suggesting that ds (9) needs one!!!

neunundneunzigluftballons · 09/11/2013 21:01

Nope YANBU I do not want TVs in our children's bedrooms and I would enforce it if someone suggested it. Ask for the receipt and buy something more appropriate save mil the hassle.

SauvignonBlanche · 09/11/2013 21:02

She's 10!
Sounds slightly precious if you dont mind me saying
You sound very sensible to me.

marriedinwhiteisback · 09/11/2013 21:03

If she isn't having it you don't need to ask the Sky question OP. My response would be no, absolutely not. There is a lot of research that children who are allowed tv/computers in their bedrooms do less well academically than those who don't. Also you need to monitor what she's watching and how much at 10 and even older.

Ours are 15 and 18 and this was always a very big no. How has your dd got to 10 though without your mil knowing this?

EvaBeaversProtege · 09/11/2013 21:04

And my dc do have TVs in their bedrooms - ds uses his for his xbox, dd hardly has hers on.

They only become an issue if you make it one, or if you let it become one :)

Original poster

ginmakesitallok · 09/11/2013 21:05

But theoretically if we agreed to one in the spare room do we need an aerial?? (If we do then that's another reason not to get one, because I can't be arsed with the FAFF of that)

OP posts:

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 09/11/2013 21:07

Yanbu. I hate the idea of televisions in bedrooms.

FryOneFatManic · 09/11/2013 21:07

DP and I are in total agreement that there are no tvs in the DCs bedrooms. From observing friends and their DCs, it's clear that the DCs will watch tv until late, which isn't good when children need their sleep.

We have one in our room, but that is on rarely. Stick to your guns, a tv is a parental decision, and especially make sure your DP is the main voice to MIL and SIL on the subject.

NumptyNameChange · 09/11/2013 21:07

the compromise with a tv in a bedroom is to not have it connected to an arial (can't spell it for trying) but have a cheapo dvd player with it and allow the 'treat' of being allowed a film in bed on a friday night for example.

you can have a tv just for watching films on - ergo totally controlled.

ds likes his film on a friday night but always falls asleep quickly and i turn it off. he also totally gets it's not happening in the week.

Original poster

ginmakesitallok · 09/11/2013 21:08

We've never discussed it with mil. She has a TV upstairs at her house which the girls will sometimes watch.

OP posts:

LittleBairn · 09/11/2013 21:10

YANBU she should have checked with you so if she's out of picket tough luck. That's the sort of decision for a parents not a grandparent.

LittleBairn · 09/11/2013 21:10

Pocket

DoJo · 09/11/2013 21:11

I wasn't allowed a TV in my room until I was at university! And even then, my parents only bought me one because they found out I was going to the language lab to watch Hollyoaks and pretending to be foreign if anyone challenged me! I never really wanted one, until I was in my late teens and wanted to watch stuff later than I would be allowed to in the living room, but I survived and will not be allowing my son to have one in his room until he is at least a teenager so I say now, but remind me of this when he is older!

Original poster

ginmakesitallok · 09/11/2013 21:12

On reflection it wouldn't work in the spare room. It's tiny and they use it as a play room, so there's nowhere for a telly to go without getting rid of some toys, which dd2 still plays with.

NO, NO to a Christmas telly!!!!

OP posts:

misspontypine · 09/11/2013 21:16

Could you except the present but use it as a once a fortnight/once a month treat, just watch a film on it snuggled up with your dc as a reward for good behavior or just a special bonding time?

poopinthebin · 09/11/2013 21:17

No way, no tellies in bedrooms, not ever - in this house. If someone bought one I'd react the same way as you.

ajandjjmum · 09/11/2013 21:20

DC weren't allowed TVs in their rooms until they were 18/19 - coincided nicely with them leaving home!

I see no need for it, and I want my DC to be part of the family, not stuck up in their room for hours (which I know would happen, certainly in the case of DD).

Mylovelyboy · 09/11/2013 21:21

I really like misspontypine idea. Most sensible post on here I think. Too much is being made out of this. Get the impression on this thread and many others about MIL's that they are expected to ask the parents permission before buying the granchildrens presents. Just in case the parents dont like them. Well tough. Its Christmas and christmas presents are meant to be a surprise. Its a telly not a set of circus knives.

Weegiemum · 09/11/2013 21:22

I agree with you - no tv in rooms here. My mil buys the children a magazine subscription for the whole year which is a great present.

PissesGlitter · 09/11/2013 21:24

There is a tv in our living room and a tv in each of the 3 bedrooms

If they want to watch something different to us then they go to their rooms
If my husband is watching football/f1 I can go watch something in our room

I do not see the problem only solutions
Oh the kids have had tv in rooms since maybe 5 years old
They are 17 16 and 11 now

blueeyedpea · 09/11/2013 21:27

We kept TVs and computers out of the bedrooms until our 2 were 17 going on 18, it meant that they were downstairs with us when they were accessing the internet and we mostly shared our evenings watching rubbish together! Now they are older they have bought their own, but we still watch most evenings together.

GampyWabbit · 09/11/2013 21:30

Yanbu

My dd is 10 and there is no way she would be allowed a telly in her room. I would be very cross if a family member ever bought one for her without our consent (and before the age of 18).

Donkeyok · 09/11/2013 21:31

They can take it back as its new - whats the problem.

Its a definite no from me DD 11 wants to want Russell Howard, Family Guy and all sorts. Once in very hard to get out.

tiggytape · 09/11/2013 21:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

overmydeadbody · 09/11/2013 21:39

I don't see the point of tv, and just think it dumbs the nation down and makes so many people so increadibly unproductive in their spare time, and it's quite sad to think of whole families watching their own programmes in different rooms, not even interacting.

I would not have a tv in the house, let alone in the DC's bedrooms.

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