Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to have said no to mil?

93 replies

ginmakesitallok · 09/11/2013 20:13

Discussing Christmas presents with mil this afternoon and she said she was thinking of getting dd1 a TV for her room. I said no, we don't want her to have a telly in her room yet. Dp came in at that point and also said no (thank God!). Sil then hinted that tv was already bought. Aibu to stick to my guns and say no TV? Surely she should have asked us before getting a big present like that anyway??

OP posts:
littlegem12 · 10/11/2013 07:33

YANBU

Moreisnnogedag · 10/11/2013 07:43

Yanbu. I had a tv in my room as a child and I spent hours watching crap when I should have been asleep. Yes I did fine at school but I don't want DS to do that.

And my answer would be the same whether it was my mom or my mil who bought it. I don't get people saying just because it's a present you have to lump it!

bubalou · 10/11/2013 08:07

Yanbu - I have had to say no to several gift suggestions for ds from IL's in the past.

I always get shirty responses and questions - why not, well we think it would be good, etc.

We get it every year about a fucking trampoline and have had since he was 2!!! He's not fucking having 1!!!

Confused Stick to your guns.

ZombieMojaveWonderer · 10/11/2013 08:09

Aww you meanies Sad
My mum has bought tv's for my kids rooms. They weren't connected to sky so that isn't a problem, they had built in DVDs and she bought peppa pig and cbbebies for them to watch. They were allowed to watch a little bit during the day and I monitored it. They are much older now and have games consoles and all sorts and are at least 2 grades ahead of the national average at school so tv hasn't held them back at all!

pumpkinkitty · 10/11/2013 08:14

YANBU. I teach way too many kids (primary) who come to school shattered. After some digging it usually turns out that they've been watching tv (without parents knowing and breaking rules the parents have set down) in the early hours when they wake up at night.

I've always said I won't decide on things until DD was old enough however, she will not have a tv in her room until she's an adult and no longer at school!

BlueStarsAtNight · 10/11/2013 08:17

I'd not want DS habit a tv in his room at 10. I have a 10 year old neice and she would definitely be sneaking it on late into the night if she had one!

If they want to get something "big" along those line though, how about a portable DVD player for her? Then she can ask you for it if she wants to watch a film, you can take it away with you etc., but it's a lot more easily controlled. Plus no aerial needed!

ConfusedPixie · 10/11/2013 08:21

YANBU. And Lovelyboy, there is tonnes of research on why having the TV on as 'background noise' is, in fact, a terrible idea! All you need to do is search "TV on in background" to come up with thousands of articles and studies on how it's bad for children and infants.

MaryPoppinsHasASootkinInHerBag · 10/11/2013 08:30

MrsHoratioNelson

You control T.V use by setting rules about when they can watch T.V and you cut the bloody plug off if they break those rules!!!

Mine (8 & 4) don't have a TV in their room. But we do have one in the upstairs playroom. We have sky multi room and consoles in there. Not keen on them in their rooms, not sure why as I had one from 8.

My MIL would ask us before buying and has asked us if they want one for Christmas for a few years now. But we've just said there's no need.

I like the one in the playroom as DH and I are still in bed reading and Mumsnetting and the kids are watching MOTD and playing and I can here what they are up to!

PavlovtheCat · 10/11/2013 08:32

YANBU

hollyisalovelyname · 10/11/2013 08:33

YANBU. I didn't allow my dc to have tv in their rooms so we'd interact as a family and they wouldn't be watching tv late at night or watching inappropriate stuff.
Like Pumpkin Kitty my dsis is a primary teacher and she says the better educated parents don't allow tv's in their children's bedrooms. The best thing you can give a child is your time, not things.
Please don't flame me I'm just repeating what she says.

Amedea · 12/11/2013 12:49

If it's something that is a lifestyle choice, GPs should ask the parents what they think/want. TV in the bedroom is obviously not a big deal to some people but a huge deal to others - all down to opinion. I think the issue might be more about whether there's a power struggle going on here or not - did GPs know about OP's TV/bedroom views before asking about (buying) the TV, and went ahead anyway? Or was it genuinely just misguided? If the former, then stick to your guns; if the latter, maybe try to find some way of accommodating it - have it in your own room and only let the kids watch it when you can police it? Have it in the kitchen? Build an extension with a bigger playroom? Maybe not!

wordfactory · 12/11/2013 12:55

YANBU OP.

I do not wish my DC to have TVs in their rooms. They are 14.

It's just not what we want for our family.

Thumbwitch · 12/11/2013 13:06

YANBU - if you as parents don't want your child to have tv in the bedroom, then that is your parental choice and your MIL does not have the right to over-ride that.

I do really get the arse if MIL tries to buy a "big" present outside of birthday and Christmas - for e.g. she bought DS1 his first bike, a nasty cheap thing from Aldi, and presented it to him in the middle of the year. It's a bike! His first BIKE! It should have been exciting, a build-up present, something to look forward to and she royally fucked that all up - to say nothing of it ruining his Christmas present of 3m previously, which was a balance bike. I was so cross!

She hasn't done anything like it since, I have to say, and does now ask for ideas for DS. Since I have to buy all his presents from the rest of my family (we're in a different country so it's easier), I know what else DS1 will be getting so can give her the ideas that aren't already being used.

I don't see any harm in discussing presents - prevents waste, duplication, buying something inappropriate etc.

chillykitty · 12/11/2013 13:07

She should hv checked

Brucietheshark · 12/11/2013 13:10

OP - sorry not sure if anyone has answered this, but you DO need an aerial to make the freeview work. Or you need a socket connected to a satellite dish but then the TV needs a freesat box instead of freeview.

I am not a techie but believe this to be true.

Dawndonnaagain · 12/11/2013 13:11

You are not being unreasonable. Mine have never had televisions in their rooms. Dds 17 and Ds 18. Ds hasn't even bothered to get a television for university.

jellyboatsandpirates · 12/11/2013 13:14

YADNBU, and sound a bit like me and my situation. MIL has been saying she wants to get the two smalls a TV for their bedroom, but I'm like you - no, we don't do TV in kids bedrooms.
We've got a perfectly good one downstairs! Their bedroom is for sleeping or relaxing in.
DH thinks the same. Sure MIL thinks we're BU, but tough. T'is up to us. Glad everyone else thinks the same as I do sometimes start to question if it's me BU sometimes!

jellyboatsandpirates · 12/11/2013 13:19

Its a definite no from me DD 11 wants to want Russell Howard, Family Guy and all sorts. Once in very hard to get out.

That's just it, isn't? If they've got a telly in their bedroom they can watch whatever. Another reason I don't like the thought. I know someone's going to come on and say "just take the aerial out then, but what's the point in having one in there in the first place if it doesn't bloody work?! Confused
(If it's for dvd watching, what's wrong with doing that downstairs?!)
Overheard one 9 year old asking someone else if they'd been watching Keith Lemon.
WTAF?! Erm, no not at that age!

New posts on this thread. Refresh page