To think DH shouldn't unlock the bathroom door from the outside and come in when I am on the toilet?

[Bloob]

I was on the toilet - had been for about 2 minutes. I wasn't taking an age or anything!

DH had just taken out the food recycling and declared he needed to wash his hands (from the outside) I said I wasn't feeling awfully well but would be out in a second (upset stomach) so could he please use the upstairs bathroom or the kitchen sink. He said no he needed to wash his hands and after a minute arguing back and forth unlocked the door from the outside, barged his way in and washed his hands. Then left without saying a word.

I'm actually fucking speechless. AIBU?

He sounds a bit not right in the head. Or a lot, I dunno, who the hell wants to barge into a smelly toilet when there is somewhere else they could easily go ffs?

I broke up with someone for doing this once. Different situation as I was in the bathroom having a little weep after a minor row, they knocked, I said go away, they unlocked and came in. I went nuts and dumped them. I consider this a HUGE invasion of privacy and was not sticking around to see what other boundaries they were going to cross.

imagine doing this to a colleague, or your boss doing it to you, or someone doing it to your child at school - imagine an adult doing it to your child at school, imagine someone doing this in a bar etc etc.

would it be ok?

should you not be more safe, respected and well cared for in your own home than anywhere else?

1. I cannot actually understand his behaviour

1. It is so far removed from the kind of behaviour I do understand, I actually feel scared for you OP. I mean is he ok in the head?

who does this?

My xh used to be worse, he used to unlock the door from the outside when I was washing, brushing my teeth in the morning to do a shit. Even though he had been in earlier for a shower. We even struggled over the lock with me trying to hold the door shut from inside. Dirty bastard.

The post about the chair was meant to be tongue in cheek. Didn't think for one second anyone would take it seriously!
If I was going for a bath after my dp did something like that, the bath would be at a hotel or a friends house.

We hardly lock our bathroom door, only for poos. Closed but not locked. We only have one loo and its in the bathroom
If one of us is in there and hears someone else approaching we just shout not to come in.
So if even 7 and 8 year olds know that occupied bathrooms are off limits then no excuse for a grown man to barge in there.

Ok so he has now given me a more heartfelt apology.

I have no idea why he did it. The only thing I can think of is that he is extremely stressed with work at the moment. I just hope it was a temporary loss of... Sanity?

Well why does he say he did it?

It is still concerning that he did it in the first place.

Even if I accepted the apology, I would still be icy with him for a long time afterwards. He would still be sleeping on the sofa for the foreseeable future, or better still out in the car.

I'm 33 weeks pregnant and whatever way baby is sitting when I get the urge it's all sore and I can hardly walk properly without thinking I'm going to wet myself!

I'm frequently having to tap the bathroom door when DH is in there and declare an emergency! Even then, I manage to control it until he finishes (quickly mind) and unlocks the door before I race past him

Your DH wasn't in such a bladder busting situation yet still felt it necessary to barge on in!

Apology or not I think I'd still be pretty unimpressed for a while yet...

What an arsehole.

Reverse the situation - if it was him in the bathroom, what would make you force your way despite there being an alternative option for you to wash your hands? Probably nothing, right?

Therefore he's being weird, controlling, wanting to humiliate you and show you who's in charge. This is odd behaviour.

I find this quite disturbing actually.

I find it disturbing too. It is extremely bizarre behaviour. If my husband did this I would think he was losing his mind and would be very worried about him.

My mum used to do this to me every single time I had a bath.

Our toilet was right next to the bath and she'd unlock the door every time telling me she needed a wee. This is despite me asking before my bath if anyone needed the loo. She would then proceed to take a shit. I would then be left with the stench.

Rhiana, did you ask her why she did this? It's really weird and perverse.

God, Rhiana, that is really horrible. It's offensive on every level.

What was she like the rest of the time?

My dh & I frequently wander in & out of the bathroom/ensuite when the other is in there.

Key difference being that its with mutual consent. If the door is locked though we know the other doesn't want to be disturbed.

The dc would never (and never have) invited themselves into the bathroom, dh & I always think its because we used to live in a tiny one bedroom place & were used to being open in front of each other.

Plus, the ensuite is off our bedroom, so its not a case of walking in on each other - often if I'm jn shower, dh will lie on top of bed chatting about our day/kids/gossiping :) we wouldn't, for example, stand around when the other one has a bowel movement

Knob.

Get hand soap for the kitchen sink.

And LTB.

That's really disturbing. Such controlling behaviour and so disrespectful.
Read what Numptynamechange said. Ask your 'D'H those questions.
He should be really ashamed, but to be honest he sounds like an utter prick.
We don't even have a lock on our bathroom door, if it's closed that means don't come in.