To think that trapping your dp into pregnancy is shocking?

[annabanana84]

I'm having issues with dp at the moment. I'm 29, he's 43 and we've been together over 3 years. We have lived together for all of this time. I have uterine fibroids and have become very broody. I realise that because of my illness and ages of me and dp, time is against us. I've just had my coil out in the view that dp and I can start ttc but he's now retracted and decided we should save up over the course of a year or so before we start ttc. To say I'm bloody disappointed is an understatement. I've been thinking about leaving dp because I'm so desperate for a baby, but we are slowly working through this and I've accepted that I have to wait til dp is ready.

I've confided my problems with a few friends and both of their solutions really shocked me. They both suggested pricking holes into condoms. I could never do that! When I have a baby with dp, I want it to be the right time for both of us! Also, dp would never forgive me if he found out!

I would love a baby and the more I think about his behaviour, the more I think what a pathetic father he'd make.

please take steps to make sure you do not get pregnant if this is now how you view him

Yanbu. It really wouldn't be a great start to life for anyone would it? And you would have to live with it your whole life :(
Do understand your desperation though, I suppose your mates only have your interests at heart but haven't thought it through. I'm sure you'd all end up much happier to wait until you're both ready. Good luck!

I think even if you do trap him or it happens by accident, he'll accuse you of it anyway.

Thumbwitch makes a very important point. A man who controls his partner by dangling the possibility of children and then going back on his word will rejoice in the possibility of using a child to control you - he would mess you around in terms of money and access arrangements ; worst of all he would mess the child around.