to be cross with DParents over Xmas

[Anydrinkwilldo]

I said ONE present each. Now DM has gone and bought him 'a few small gifts' for his stocking (ie from Santa) AIBU to flip my lid at them??

I sometimes feel sad that my parents hate choosing gifts and never bother (never did when I was young either, so never really got Xmas/bday presents... December was a hideously unfestive month for me when all my friends were enjoying it)

But, since we had DCs they just ask us to buy something from them and they'll give us the money (or in the case of their fourth birthdays they came with us to choose their first bikes and paid for them, which meant they got brilliant ones). I always get a "wow fuzzpig you always know just what to choose for minifuzzpigs"... I used to feel a bit because TBH I'm jealous that I never got any thought put into a present from them, but now I just focus on the positive which I'm reminded of when reading threads like this - no angst about piles of tat and where to put it, just the presents I've put loads of thought into which I know will get loads of play, and some of which we wouldn't have been able to afford on our own.

Well you seem to be taking it all personally. Rather odd when your message is that we shouldn't try to put limits on other people's relationships

And I didn't mention "lid flipping". I suspect that the OP was mostly ranting in a safe space before talking to her parents.

What I do is when Christmas arrangements start being discussed I drop into the conversation that DS has lots of toys and we are struggling for storage space. Then we talk about what they might want to get, or how they could spend time with him. DMiL suggested this year at this conversation the thing that I already had picked a version out to buy "from Santa": I smiled and said that was perfect because I don't want to stop them enjoying DS. The GPs who ignore this conversation are thanked gracefully even while I'm internally stressing about the fact that we can't cope with what they are giving.

Tea you have illustrated beautifully my point about thinking you've got it exactly right when you're pretty young and appreciating how you realise you've got so much still to learn when you're in your 50s and older.

Thanks!

Splendid. Glad I could help although I still don't understand what your issue is here. Or what you feel you still have to learn if you're so set that your understanding of this issue is exactly right.

Oh give me a break. I'm out. Time's running out (for some of us).

I haven't read all the thread but with regard to Santa coming to GPs houses being a recent phenomenon - I'm 49 and Santa left presents at my GPs houses. One grandmother only had us three to buy for so presents were more lavish there. Other grandmother had more to buy for so would just say that Santa left a little present at her house for us. We never questioned it. We knew full well that the presents were from out GPs but enjoyed the whole Santa pretense.

Am in shock at so many relatives buy SO much for children. And then realised I have been guilty of that myself! Especially when there weren't so many nieces and nephews. Have reigned it back now. I only have one DS so love buying for my nieces in particular.

Just get them old people's tat from one of those catalogues or pound shop.

Hideous chocolates, tin of biscuits, tray, mug and calender with fluffy cats or dogs on, mug that plays a Xmassy tune, novelty oven mit, magnifying sheet, jigsaw, talc ans soap set, towelling turban, address book and pen etc etc

Then put it all in a giant novelty Santa stocking. Make sure you give them the most padded glittery Christmas card you can find too....

Eek, wouldn't want to get on your bad side sublime :o

Sublime have you been giving my Pils lessons?

chipped [shocked hurt expression that is let down by sideways disapproving glance at DH when I think you're not looking]

But it's Christmas!

It was the bird box disguised as a tree goblin that gave DS nightmares, that was the last straw.

That and the milk chocolates hidden in between the layers of wrapping paper, for a child who is intolerant to milk. [wishes there was a D'oh smiley]

Oh Chipped You simply must get them a box of the hardest chewiest stickiest caramels covered in chocolate (but make sure the box suggests they are soft caramels). That'll keep them busy with their false teeth, so they are out of the way for a while, or at the very least quiet.

^Only joking! What is it with the GP generation and all things goblin, pixie, Bogey man, not to forget Wee Willie Winkie?

Track 8 is dedicated to them:

Creepy!

MinesAPintOfTea Sun 10-Nov-13 21:18:36

"It is stressful to be on the receiving end when grandparents go overboard, especially when there's lots of them doing it. It doesn't feel like an expression of love but trying to buy love or control"

But if we as parents have better values than this, why not solve the overcrowding problem by cutting down on the presents we buy the children and letting the GPs bear the financial brunt of the festive season?

Why this insistence that the best and most important present has to come from ourselves- unless we do indeed believe that it is a way of buying love? Why this fear of being outcompeted by another generation?

We spend the whole of the Christmas holidays with my parents so any tradition is totally under the control of my mother and always has been. Doesn't worry me. I know whose children they are anyway, and they know too.