to warn you that you may have to prove your dc is actually your dc if you have a different surname

[ShhhhNewName]

Name change for this as I've written about it publicly as me...if that makes sense?

dd (11) has my xp's surname, we were never married. I married my dh last year and I took his surname. We have travelled quite a bit with dd and I have often wondered what the powers that be in border control make of it, especially pre-marriage when all three of us had different surnames.

But apart from one time coming back to the UK on a flight from Spain, it has never been raised as an issue. Even then they just asked how dd was related and I said, she's my dd

Returning from France a couple of weeks ago, we were stopped at border control and questioned much more thoroughly. We were trying to board a ferry and dd was questioned as to how she was related to us. I was asked to prove myself by showing documents that connected dd to me as her mother. I couldn't produce them. Luckily as dd is 11 she was able to answer numerous questions such as DOBs of her parents, where they were born, other places she'd travelled, so we were ok and dd is a bit of a performer and just thought it was all a bit of an adventure.

We were given a leaflet which explained that due to tightening of regulations, children with a different name to their guardians would be questioned in this way should documents not be available and that should there be a problem proving parentage, travel may be refused and relevant authorities called.

Although I thought it was odd that we didn't have these checks when leaving the country (which may have been more pertinent) I didn't feel singled out or distressed, neither did dh or dd. The lady was very nice and professional blah blah.

I'm warning you because a younger child or a child with special needs might be distressed by this situation and indeed might not be able to answer relevant questions.

I'm not thrilled about carrying even more documents around (I'm always worried I'll lose the passports) but I do think it makes sense and I don't mind hold ups if they make our children safer. However I think it's definitely something that should be made more public and that families ought to be aware of before they travel.

PS. This happened when travelling by ferry, so I'm not sure whether it applies when travelling by plane.

Shhhh disgraceful. Will you not think of the children???
But on the side, wouldn't travelling with passport, birth cert and marriage cert be really bad if you got robbed. Massive target for I'd theft. Even with copies of docs.

No way on earth would I take originals - like I said, notarised copies (can be expensive) or take your chances with a 'normal' copy.\And if they get shirty challenge them to take your kids....

lymiemum that's exactly what I thought!! But I suppose it reduces the risk of some evil bastard taking your dc which is worth the risk.

It wouldn't be so bad if it were consistent and made public.

YANBU to warn but, personally, I would rather people check than not given trafficking etc.

Pacific they'd give her right back! Hormones kicking in these days

My parents took DD away to France last year and we're stopped at border control And had to answer lots of questions re their relationship, as in your case dd was able to verify but still quite intimidating. This year I sent a signed letter but Sod's law no one asked!

Yep I've been stopped with ds1, then around 13 months. We have different surnames and nationalities. Luckily, I had a copy of his birth certificate with me so no problems, but it does happen, so be prepared!

I went on holiday to France in the Summer with my dd (11yrs) and my parents. I flew back early as I had to work, and dd came back with my parents in their car a week later. DD has the same surname as me and my parents. When they got to British customs dd was questioned in depth about who she was travelling with and where her parents were. Apparently the customs lady was very pleasant and not at all intimidating. In the past I have always given my parents a letter with my permission for dd to be with them (for what its worth) but on this occasion forgot. Customs didn't ask for any documents apart from dds passport.
I'm quite happy that customs are tightening up procedures as it has always worried me that dd's dad could just take her out of the country with out my permission.

If you think about costs and inconvenience it does make quite a lot of sense to add the checks at border control. Border control is just about the only place you have to prove who you are - even a policeman stopping you in the street doesn't have the right to know automatically. So given that you're already providing that proof, adding an extra level - that of proving your relationship to the child companions is not particularly onerous on the individuals - especially if they are forewarned.

But it is much, much cheaper than finding an abducted child when they make it to their destination country, so despite the relative small numbers who are likely to be caught / deterred it's likely pretty cost effective compared to any alternative.

Thank you for this post, as I was not aware that Customs were starting to question this, and could well have found myself in a similar position. You may have saved my future bacon

Pleased to be of service Lizzie

Can I just point out, as I have in my OP, i do not question the validity of these checks.

I simply think that people should be made aware before they travel. many people, myself included have traveled with dc never being asked a thing. While it is pleasing to see controls being tightened, I'd be pretty upset if for want of a bit of forewarning, my holiday was ruined or my child upset.

OMG! footie that's great for your dd but I'm quite shocked that a child travelled without a passport?

People with children are always questioned (whether they know it or not). If you fly, sail or go by train you'll actually talk to quite a few people between parking your car and leaving the country. They all have a child protection remit (yes that means the guy in the car park and the girl at the perfume counter) and you might notice that they very often make a point of talking directly to your children. The border agency person will be most explicit in this, will always address the children directly and ask something like "are you off to spend all of Mummy's money on ice cream then"? they're actually asking:

1: do you speak English?
2: is this your Mum?
3: are you in any way nervous in front of me
4: will you look straight at the adults when I question you or reply straight to me
5: does your answer sound rehearsed
He/She then makes a judgement whether to no nothing or something. Something can mean anything from a longer chat to a complete formal interview under caution.

People with children are also often "tagged" at the border without knowing. Any member of the border agency can invoke a "tag" and from that moment until you leave the country every time your passport, boarding card or tickets go through a scanner an alert will flash up and whoever is reading the screen will start asking (usually very normal sounding) questions. When you return the tag will flash up again at the border so the agency can check you have the same number of children you left with. This system will operate in most EU countries within five years. So when a receptionist at a hotel in Paris asks for your passport it will be scanned, the tag will flash and the guy behind the counter will count your kids.

You'll find the process more obvious and overt for certain countries and if you are taking teenage girls from Britain to Pakistan it's 50/50 that you will be taken for a complete interview and your details passed to the Pakistani authorities. Enormous efforts are made at the border to stop teenaged girls being "exported" for marriage and but it still goes on.

My DS surname was changed by deed pool to 'dad's family name- my surname.' Therefore his passport now has this. Would they still question it because our surnames aren't the same? I also have a family book (he was born and registered abroad) but his surname is different in there!!!

Was actually planning a trip to France with him so this post has been really helpful as may need extra paperwork!

Very worried by your post MiniMonty. The only thing questioning my DS with ASD would establish is that he speaks English!!!!

youare i don't know

Found this:
www.ukba.homeoffice.gov.uk/customs-travel/Enteringtheuk/arrivingatukborder/child-travel-advice/

I can see why you'd need the child's brth cert but why your marriage cert? Why does it matter if you're married?

What I find odd is that they only seem to check when you are coming into the UK - at least, I have never been questioned on my way out with two children who have a different surname from me, only on the way back in to the UK (we all have British passports, even though the DCs were not born in the UK).

You would think if they were trying to prevent child abductions (eg parent taking children overseas after a messy divorce) it would make sense to ask the same questions on leaving the UK?

We carry Passports, copies of birth certificates, marriage certificate and also a letter to/from each of us giving the other permission to travel with the boys.

Thank you shhh I've only ever really had anyone pay attention before when travelling out of his country of birth to the uk - at the time I was still with XP but he wasn't travelling with us. At that point he had his surname as just his dad's family name. Complicated as his dad is British but has his Spanish step fathers family name by deed pool so shares his mum and half siblings surname and so the bit of his surname DS has is actually only the bit he has added by deed pool! DS has a British passport!

Marriage certificate could be to prove relationship with father, if the children have his name but the mother has kept her own? Or if the children are from a previous relationship, and the mother has since remarried and changed her name, the marriage certificate provides a link between her old name (as on birth certificate) and new name.

Basically, the more official documents you have, the better, I think.

Onesie If like me you've married and/or changes surname since you were recorded as a parent on the birth cert, you would need to show a record of the change to link the child to you and the name on your passport

MiniMonty, that's really interesting. I've just travelled with my 3 dc (different surname to me) and no one queried it explicitly but yes, all of the airport staff at both ends did speak directly to my children which was unusual enough to be noteworthy. It was all very benign chat but would have been enough to flag an issue.

I changed my name back to my maiden name on divorce but don't know how I would trace it all back - dcs' birth certificates have my married name, so I suppose I would need them plus my marriage certificate and decree nisi if ever called upon to prove parentage. A letter can be forged easily. And why should my ex not have to prove he isn't abducting them just because they share the same
surname? He and his new wife all have the same name as the dcs but he could easily be taking them out of the country without my consent - the surname point is surely only one of many possible markers.

I think, if challenged, I will go for the "fine, take them while you iron it out" approach. The wailing that would ensue would pretty much convince anyone that we were related and I defy anyone to listen to ds1 for more than ten minutes without releasing him back into the custody of any passing stranger.

I'm not trying to minimise the threat of trafficked or abducted children here - just to say that using surname matching is an incredibly blunt tool particularly if that's all you have. I'd be interested to know what the guidelines really are - I'm sure it must be a mix of name/ethnicity (as a previous poster said, there is a real risk of forced marriage at certain times of the year with certain ethnic groups)/demeanour of parent/behaviour of child etc.