to not make her a seperate meal?

[fairy1303]

DSD lives here full time.

She is currently having a massive meltdown because I have told her we are having... shock horror... CASSEROLE for dinner.

We have this about once a month, it's cheap, easy, healthy.
I know she doesn't like it.

I have said that is what we are having, no I won't make a seperate meal.
She is telling me not to serve her any. She doesn't want it. She is crying because she 'isn't allowed any dinner'. She has phoned MIL to tell her. She is about to phone my mum to tell her too. She has phoned daddy at work to tell him.

Now, I'm pretty strict. I'm also aware of the wsm stuff.

AIBU to say: that is what we are having. There will be nothing else?

Or am I being too hard on her?

She's 8

How do you know how my conversation with her went, Toys?? We're you in the kitchen during the tantrum?

How do you know it didn't go like that? I said I wasn't going to give in, not that I wasn't sympathetic.

And tbh I don't give a flying fuckeroo whether any of you would like my casserole. Have you tried it? Nope. My life is too busy to give a shit.

TIA.

'not allowing them even a simple alternative is horrible.'

Good thing she offered a sandwich as an alternative then, eh?

SmiteYouWithThunderbolts can't beat it can you? Especially after its stood a day or two. Staple winter food with crusty bread.

There's only one way to settle this....Fight!

Honestly, casserole wars now. Why get so ratty? This thread was about a situation a lot of us find difficult, if previous MN threads I can remember are anything to go by. We should be able to discuss it without degenerating into virtual V-flicking.

LOL at LaQueen ....

I effing hate casserole or anything like that,its boring english old people food.

But that aside

shes 8,she should eat what you lot are having or not have anything,simple.

If she fussy just make sure theres other stuff on the table so she at least gets something.I always put bread and salad/veg on the table so if its something one of the kids dont like they wont starve.For example last night we had chicken katsu which one of my children hates,but she ate the rice,she babysweetcorn,red pepper and sugar snap peas that i served with it.

I wasn't there, so will have to go with what info has been given, together with the feeling surrounding the posts. I am also discussing these kinds of situations in general, not only your specific situation, fairy. Anyway, you clearly were very sure you did everything right, so why the aibu?

I'm not 'ard as nails, so would probably not do that well in a fight.

We always said ,"Ok there's bread, there's cheese and apples." It's fine if you have that instead but you eat at the table with the family and no snacking during the evening.My ds hated casserole of any kind but was happy to have a sandwich if need be.

Those who are saying that it is impossible to cater for everyone- statistically, there are billions of different food combinations out there. Please don't try and tell me you can't make meals that 4 or 5 people a night will enjoy.You can omit a certain ingredient for an individual, for example. Even if you dream up 20 recipes that you know everyone enjoy, problem solved.

People need to get off of their penny-farthing and stop with the 'like it or lump it' attitude. It isn't at all necessary and to premeditate a meal which will inevitably cause discord, well you don't illicit much sympathy from me.

Having said that, if your daughter was just having a strop for the sake of it and actually likes the casserole, then fair enough. But then why the AIBU? You're not asking 'Should I make her eat what she really doesn't like,' you are asking 'Is it unreasonable that she is having a tantrum when she actually likes the food?' If the latter is the case, then of course YANBU and you know it...

YABU. You say this only happens about once a month which suggests she is normally a good eater. With my DS, as he is such a good eater then when he occasionally says he doesn't like something I don't make him eat it. I think you should be more lenient.

Most things I cook are things the dcs like and will actually eat, I don't tend to make dinners they won't eat. But trying to make something all 3 of them actually like is very hard.
But if I know I'm making something that the rest of us will eat but one won't then I'll have something else for that person, not another cooked dinner but I give the choice of a panini for example.
But I do the offering before the whinging starts, I don't want my to get into an argument and I don't want to be seen to give in after the whinging!
I very rarely eat something I don't like, so I don't expect others to either.

you dont have to make them eat it,actually i dont see how its possible to make someone eat something.just say ok dont eat it,eat the rest.

I missed the second to last post offering a sandwich

The OP didn't originally offer that and seemed rather proud of the fact. Just don't get it

The OP offered the sandwich after it was suggested because she came on AIBU for some advice.

Some people are making out like she is some monster who is trying to force feed poison to her child. ffs.

The logic of posting your situation on an internet forum for people to comment on, then saying 'You can't say that, you weren't those to see what happened' leaves something to be desired.

I agree mellow but when I remarked that toys wasn't there to see what happened, it was because she had made a massive assumption, and played out an entire scenario that hadn't actually happened based on no evidence whatsoever.

"I very rarely eat something I don't like, so I don't expect others to either."

I think if you had someone cooking for you night after night you'd probably find you did it more often.

"Some people are making out like she is some monster who is trying to force feed poison to her child. ffs."

Yup - everyone falling over themselves to see who sound the most child centred.

Totally with you OP.

What a load of hysterical tosh is being spouted at you left right and centre.

You sound like a great step mum.

In my house, I cook, they eat. If they don't they can have bread and butter. And if they don't eat the vegetables then theres nothing else and no pudding. Repeat the next day.

Life's too short to cook for (fussy) individual members of the family.

Lots of people falling over themselves to prove how tough, unrelenting and hard-assed they are about parenting. I don't know.. I didn't realise the dinner table was meant to be some kind of battle ground? I guess everyone's got different values.

The logic of posting your situation on an internet forum for people to comment on, then saying 'You can't say that, you weren't those to see what happened' leaves something to be desired.

Not really. Its a bit idiotic for people to assume or make up things that they thought might have happened. The op is with in her rights to say, no, actually thats not how it was, seeing as she was there and all. .

ouryve: I sold the rice pudding to him as tasting similar to custard

I'd forgotten that he hates custard almost as much as rice pudding, but not quite. Unlike rice pudding, he can stay in the same room as someone else eating it.

Not making the dinner table a battle ground does not mean you have to give in and let them eat whatever they want.

OP did the right thing in ignoring the tantrum. It was a very clear 'this is what is for tea' or 'have a sandwich' situation and if OP had entered into a discussion with her 8 year old it would have become a battle.

I've managed to bring up twins without having to be 'hard-assed' just practical. I can't be doing with namby pamby parenting. I often have to work with the results.