to not make her a seperate meal?

[fairy1303]

DSD lives here full time.

She is currently having a massive meltdown because I have told her we are having... shock horror... CASSEROLE for dinner.

We have this about once a month, it's cheap, easy, healthy.
I know she doesn't like it.

I have said that is what we are having, no I won't make a seperate meal.
She is telling me not to serve her any. She doesn't want it. She is crying because she 'isn't allowed any dinner'. She has phoned MIL to tell her. She is about to phone my mum to tell her too. She has phoned daddy at work to tell him.

Now, I'm pretty strict. I'm also aware of the wsm stuff.

AIBU to say: that is what we are having. There will be nothing else?

Or am I being too hard on her?

She's 8

'Eat what you're given' was my mother's mantra when we were visiting someone else's house. I still stick to it.

Again, siblings in families with unified approaches to food can differ in fussiness.

Rookieboy is fussy - I know it's my fault because I had such awful school dinners when I was young ( see post above re cowboy pie) that I haven't got the moral fibre to make him eat brussel sprouts.

I have told him though that when he is at someone elses he should just take what he is given and eat what he can and if asked request if he can have a slice of bread or say that he isn't that hungry.

I hope that's ok, I don't know what else to do. He is gradually increasing his repertoire, but it is slow progress. People say that he is very polite and no bother to have, so I'm hoping it's not causing too much angst or condemnation amongst the other Mums, I do hate to be a bother.

What I disagree with is the attitude that entails totally ignoring any protests and refusing to offer even a few noises along the lines of: "It sounds you really don't feel like casserole today.I'm sorry, but I'm not going to cook anything else. However, how about you try a bit and see if you like it and then you can have bread if you'd like that instead, ok?".

Are you having another brain fart toys?The op did offer her a sandwich or something else that was simple to make. She chose the casserole.

I use simple words and phrases. That is the difference. Hilarious, isn't it! Talkin to a 4 year old.. unheard of..

laqueen spot on. Perfect. I even read that to myself in a lightly soothing voice

I did say she did that right, but her attitude that comes through seems dismissive and combative.

I still bother, not that I expect them to agree with anything in that state. However, the OPs DSD wasn't having an epic red-faced toddler tantrum. She was whinging and protesting persistently. There is a difference.

Goodness no. When mine are at the tantrum stage they can't even hear me anymore. I save my breath until they have calmed down.

Well, mostly it will be one or two sentences to explain why something happens, e.g. he is going to go calm down in his room, or being removed from a situation. Any more is wasting your breath..

"Would you cook your DP a meal you know he doesn't like?"

Well as DP has adopted a ridiculous faddy eating regime which seems to revolve around HUGE quantities of very cheap protein, and I prefer the more conventional model of protein/veg/carb in a reasonable ratio, particularly as I cook for DD as well, yes, I often do this.

I know he would eat what I cook and enjoy it, because he used to before he got hooked on disgusting sausages. He just chooses not to.

Therefore my attitude is 'you know where the kitchen is'. And Lo! No more problem.

As for the regular refrain of 'I don't like that' from DD and her little friends, I'm afraid the general attitude is 'oh well, one mouthful then'. As they are three, sat in front of something they have previously devoured with relish, and clearly trying it on, neither I nor my friends have any time for this sort of nonsense.

It doesn't last long, we have no drama, and they eat up.

On a behaviour course we paired up, then one ran towards the other, shouting. None of the shoutees could recall what was being said. Smell of them were complimenting their partner, but the tone of voice and aggressive body language made them tense, and meant they couldn't hear the words.

It brought it home to us that in a high emotion situation there is no point in dealing with it on a high level. Keep the child safe, help them calm down, and if anything needs discussing it can wait till the emotions have subsided.

JuiceOrtiz Lobby! Staffordshire standard. Ahhh the "fond" memories...

LaQueen has it spot on and that post actually DID make me lol!
Gald to see a voice of sanity in here

Surely there is a middle ground here though? I cook things that are not necessary everyones favorite meal because there are 5 of us. And all with different tastes, so therefore you have to eat what it is, even if you fancied something else.

But if someone genuinely dislikes something- for example ds1 hates rice. He has hated rice for 14 years. He would rather not eat than eat rice. So if I am making chilli I put a jacket potato in for him. I dont think that is spoiling him, or pandering to him. He just honestly does not like rice. I would not cook a whole seperate meal for him but I would offer an alternative to rice.

Exactly Tantrums. There are sensible variations that can be done- and a sandwich is definitely one of them.

'I KNOW SHE DOES NOT LIKE IT'

so, why are you wanting to serve it to her, everyone is allowed not to like something - your post does make you sound unreasonable.

This thread is hilarious

Only on MN...

If you have a family of 4, 5, 6 people, how on earth do you make shared meals every single day that aren't sometimes what one person isn't hugely keen on?!

Well done, fairy, and for keeping your cool too with some very odd responses. FWIW, I'd eat that. And I would never invite Wuldric around to dinner...

yanbu I only cook one meal for the family. however there are always bits that the dc dislike/prefer. so for a casserole I would serve potatoes or bread separate. the dc could cjose toonly have a spoonful of casserole if they don't like it and have more bread/potaoes instead.

Cooking something you know someone "doesn't like" (not doesn't fancy/not keen on etc) and then not allowing them even a simple alternative is horrible.