to not make her a seperate meal?

[fairy1303]

DSD lives here full time.

She is currently having a massive meltdown because I have told her we are having... shock horror... CASSEROLE for dinner.

We have this about once a month, it's cheap, easy, healthy.
I know she doesn't like it.

I have said that is what we are having, no I won't make a seperate meal.
She is telling me not to serve her any. She doesn't want it. She is crying because she 'isn't allowed any dinner'. She has phoned MIL to tell her. She is about to phone my mum to tell her too. She has phoned daddy at work to tell him.

Now, I'm pretty strict. I'm also aware of the wsm stuff.

AIBU to say: that is what we are having. There will be nothing else?

Or am I being too hard on her?

She's 8

Toys you have given us chapter and verse on what your child will and won't eat, you have projected wildly on the OP's situation. Her situation is different from yours. You really must learn that your experience isn't the only experience.

Ha! No I don't do that.
But I do try to cook food my family like and will eat. I have some allergies and ds2 is veggie so it can be tricky of course.
So, for example, I could do jacket potatoes with sausages for 3 of us and steamed veg for ds2.
Or pasta and garlic bread but no meat in ds2s.
It's really not that hard.

It is if you're working to a tight budget, as I believe OP said she is.

Why might you do that? Lots of reasons. Cost? If its all you have? If you knew dc would tolerate it and eat it eventually? To survive? Because not everyone has the luxury of choice?

No, not at all.
Just asking why cook a meal she knows this child does not like?
Why on earth would you knowingly do that!?
Anyway, not really sure I care so am off to bed!!

The op cooked something she knew this child disliked.
Can't get my head round that.
Why would you do that on purpose?

So they should always cook the child's favourite, but nobody else's? That's hardly fair. What happened to taking it in turns to have your favourite meal?That's what we do here.
One day it'll be ds1's fave, the next ds2, then mine, then DH.
All perfectly good dinners. Getting everyone to like the same food at the same time is a minefield though, so if it's not your turn for your fave dinner, you suck it up and eat it as it's a perfectly good meal! Your turn next time, just not every bloody time!

She cooked a meal she knew wasn't her favourite but had eaten before - omg the horror! Call social services!

Ffs would you eat something that you didn't like made for you by someone who knew you didn't like it. Get a grip.

Yet you care enough to blithely cast aspersions on her parenting. Lovely.

I'm with Brian.

You get what you're given and you eat it or leave it. Otherwise we'd be raising kids on jelly and banana.

I 'bend my child to my will' as someone hammed it up put it. I make him brush his teeth, eat fruit and veg, do his homework. Parenting - it's more than handing out biscuits and cuddles. Fucking hard work.

You get what you're given and you eat it or leave it. Otherwise we'd be raising kids on jelly and banana.

Mine would live on pizza. For breakfast. For lunch. For tea. Whilst simultaneously eating haribo sweets until they came out of their ears.

Fairy ywbu.

I cook things - or DH does - that we know our two DDs don't like all that much.

I do however know one hates courgettes and one loathes mushrooms with a passion so I don't serve them those items. But if it's just a not that keen on something they get it. I am not running a hotel here. And neither are you.

If other people want to spend ages cooking several meals every night then more fool them. I don't have time for that.

Dont see he point of all the angst...I just dont cook things my family dislike. I don't want to waste my time. If they didn't eat it it would go in the bin which is hardly a result, is it?
I think that's pretty normal isn't it?
(And, no, I don't really use leftovers either!)

Yes, youthecat, I know. I would ask an 8 year old to try something unless they absolutely refused and then offer bread or something like that. Under no circumstances would I ignore them about something like food, which is not life or death. An eight year old is old enough to be included and allowed to have some choices.

In my opinion a home is not a dictatorship. While not a democracy either, it is something in between. Everyone should be heard and acknowledged: i.e. "I don't like this food" , would get an answer: "I know you're not keen on it, but I really, really fancied stew today. How about you try a bit and then you can have some toast if you really don't want the casserole. Ok?". Then DSD would still, probably, quite happily eaten the casserole, but without all the drama bad feelings.

*ywnbu oops

Squoosh: She has asked for opinions. I am providing mine. And it's an informed and educated one.

Johnny...yes. Exactly.
My dc eat food they like.
They do not however eat sweets or fizzy drinks, or (in ds1s case) chocolate.
Perhaps I do "pander" to my dc in cooking them food they like and will eat but neither do they eat rubbish.

Do people not even read the OP's posts?

She offered a sandwich as an alternative. The dsd didn't want a sandwich.

No, not at all. Just asking why cook a meal she knows this child does not like? Why on earth would you knowingly do that!?
Anyway, not really sure I care so am off to bed!!

Off to bed because you know you're wrong more like it. I make my children healthy food as cheaply as possible. No pandering, thats whats on the menu. If dc really really despised something, then I wouldn't make it again for them. But thats not the case with the op and her casserole. I teach my children we are lucky to have food on the table and we don't do waste, no cooking something else because the first offering isn't good enough

But you have done more than that you have stated with confidence that she only ate the meal because her spirit had been crushed, or words to that effect. You weren't there , for all you know she scoffed it merrily.

DS wouldn't live on jelly and banana if given a choice. Anyway, you do realise there is a middle ground called limited choice?

Actually, if given free choice DS would still eat a balanced diet. I know that for a fact, as he has been given unlimited choice before. Now that he is 4, I feel like he is ready to be challenged a bit and given more of a limited choice, so he can further widen his (already healthy) range of foods. It only works with his full cooperation based on his willingness to experiment each different day.

I'm with you OP.
I will never get my head around parents offering something else or cooking more than one meal.
DS2 HATES casserole, so does DH. The (5) rest of us love it. We have it, maybe, once a fortnight and everybody eats it, including DS2 and DH (with no complaints).
Where I come from it's called manners - I certainly wouldn't indulge her. But then I'm clearly a cold hearted bitch.
I can't imagine why there are so many fussy eaters out there
And as for cruel, I think it's more cruel not to teach your children to eat something they don't like occasionally, just out of politeness - what do they do when they go to someone else's house for tea?!?! Announce they don't like it and expect to be cooked something else? And as adults, we still have to eat things we don't like - when I go to China I get served up all manner of ducks tongue, chicken foot etc... etc... it does make me gag - I hide it and chew away. Because its good manners. I'd like to think my children would do the same.

Well, my 18 year old would live on noodles, cuppa soup and bacon. Possibly she'd have the occasional piece of fruit. She has no food issues. She eats most things and has a reasonably healthy diet because she eats what I cook. If she doesn't fancy what I've cooked it's tough.

Were you there, then, squoosh? How can you be sure DSD was completely happy with being ignored and then presented something she had said many times she didn't like? Isn't it reasonable to suggest that she might not have been very happy, after all, because that would be the most logical thing? I could be wrong, but if DSD really liked casserole and has had it many times before, why would she bother to make all that fuss if OP really never gives up and offers her an alternative?

My 18 year olds cooked their own food.