to think that appearance shouldn't matter?

[JollyStoutGiant]

If you're looking to have a business relationship with someone surely you should simply require them to be good at their job. They don't need to have dry hair, make up on, a nice bag. Presumably the more time they spend on their appearance the less they spend on doing the job you require them to do.

Similarly if you're looking for someone to have an emotional relationship with. You need to get on with them. Surely whether or not they've ironed their t-shirt shouldn't be a consideration?

Why is it the case that humans, often, try to find someone who spends time on their appearance? Even on MN where there are so many feminist viewpoints the majority of posters still expect professional colleagues to look like they've made an effort.

I don't understand why these things are important.

[mitchsta]

I completely agree 2rebecca

[Mumsyblouse]

I really disagree that men don't have to make any effort with their appearance, I'd say me and my husband are pretty evenly matched for time spent in the bathroom, use of grooming products, time spent doing things like shaving (him more, me more hair drying), what we spend on clothes (limited budget but both like to look nice), and so on. What is this world where men can run into any old shop and run out with a suit (they don't mostly wear suits!) Or shaving doesn't take time or products (shaving foam, razor, aftershave).

I do agree there are double-standards sometimes around female beauty and male appearance, but trying to pretend men have to make literally no effort is just a bit odd, many of my male students are buffed and preened to a really quite obvious degree.

[woozlebear]

Someone literally going out of their way to pick up the very first t-shirt they see and paying absolutely no regard to it beyond comfort, just seems to me to be so deliberately obtuse and pointless point-making, as to be beyond bizarre

Possibly the most hilarious example of someone utterly hopelessely failing to get an alternative viewpoint ever. Picking the first T shirt you see is the absolutely oppsite of 'going out of your way'.

You seem to think that the only conceivable reason a person could have for picking the first T shirt is to make a point, not just the fact that they don't care.

The whole Tshirt debate is absurd anyway. The point of the thread was not about whether human being select objects from a selection based on visual factors, but whether people should be judged on their appearance.
Whether or not someone who doesn't really care about the T shirt is still making minor choices re colour etc is totally irrelevant to that point.

Besides, it's perfectly possible to not care personally, but make a certain amount of choices to allow for the fact that you know others will care, and judge you. It's also perfectly possible to choose one T shirt of many because you like the colour, not because you acknowledge that appearance 'matters'. You could just be picking something you personally like a bit more than the alternatives, not because you're engaging in, or becoming complicit in any of the social codes bound up in the item.

[monkeymamma]

Well my job involves me getting a product to a certain level of quality and part of that will be how good it looks. So if i look shit I think it would be unfair of me to expect people to trust me to come up with a product that is not similarly uncared for or shoddy. If you see what I mean? We all like looking at nice things. Nothing wrong with that.

[Want2bSupermum]

Grand I said NYM - I shouldn't have used that - it means NY Metro and includes a huge area of around 30 million people - basically mid CT through to South Jersey and NY area (Long Island through to Westchester).

I think it is ok to compare that size of population to the UK. It includes some deprived areas plus affulent ones. I wouldn't compare Manhattan girls as you can't really compare.

Molly What you need is this

If you hair is curly get the diffuser attachment.

[HeadsDownThumbsUp]

For the sake of experimentation I tried to see what it would be like to go into the office yesterday with hair still wet from the pool. Could not bring myself to do it. Closest I could manage was dry to the eye, damp to touch hair. And even then it felt uncomfortable.

[TheSmallClanger]

What do you do if it rains?
I have to park miles from my building and wet hair just happens if it rains.

[HeadsDownThumbsUp]

I carry a brolly.

[KerwhizzedMyself]

[chrome100]

I have wet hair at work because I go swim training before. I get up at 6, swim 630-8 and then start work at 830 which is a 15 min cycle from the pool. I simply do not have time. I'm on the GB triathlon team so that training is also part of my life. I am not a slob!

[Cooroo]

I haven't bothered with make up, ironing or hair drying for years. I'm clean (but not 2 showers a day clean like some of the people here which seems a bit weird to me) and my clothes are not tatty.

I'm good at my job. Like the OP I never notice what other people are wearing - honestly if I shut my eyes at work I'd struggle to describe them.

I think it's partly how your brain is wired. I'm just not interested. Some people are and that's great. But why should it be imposed on all?

Having said all that I have a (male) colleague who stinks and I think that's unacceptable. Except that I accept it because there isn't much I can do! He's good at his job too.