To think some people with money

[FutTheShuckUp]

Will never be able to grasp just what it is like to be on the opposite end of the scale? Some conversations recently with people who have always been well off include debating spending thousands of pounds on a holiday just being an inconceivable thought 'oh well it's worth it for the memories' spending silly money on kids prom dresses, limos etc 'well it only happens once' someone not being able to get somewhere because their car needs hundreds of pounds worth of work doing 'just take it to the garage then'
Am I right in thinking there really seems to be a lack of empathy and even trying to understand what a struggle it is financially for some people?

headsdown, far far too much common sense and the will to understand the spirit of the OP, by half

It's not a competition: "My health problems trump your financial woes"

Real poverty in the UK exists and is spreading.
The fact that people are not starving to death by there thousands in this country does not make that fact any less troubling.
I count myself lucky that I have no first hand experience of true poverty.
Petra Ecclestone would consider me fiscally disadvantaged, I don't.

DIY why shouldn't the opening post include other people from other countries?

Why should empathy be restricted to only the poor people in the uk?

If a person can afford a computer then they probably can't grasp what it is like to be unable to afford one.

Hmm, not sure I agree there. I think when you have to scrape to buy something, and know that you are unable to replace it easily without doing without elsewhere you have a pretty good idea what it would be like without said item.

Someone who can afford a computer may not be able to afford to be able to replace it easily.

Poverty is relative, but if there is someone who thinks budgeting means not buying that Armani dress this month and another person who has to budget to buy even 1 or 2 items of clothing every few months - then I know who would have a better understanding of someone who can't even budget to buy a cheap bra because they can barely feed themselves and haven't bought any clothing for a number of years!

Bowler - because someone from another country isn't about to say to you 'well just go and buy X then' in a conversation, are they?!

DIY I don't see why it's ridiculous? I know that there is real poverty in the UK but we have the NHS, we have social services, we have free education for EVERYONE, that is something that does not exist in third world countries.

Didn't mean to be overly dramatic about the programme but it did bring home just how desperate life can be for some people with absolutely no hope of improving their lot or if they can it is with things that many of us would take for granted in this country.

How do you know they dont grasp what its like not to have any. Maybe they have worked their way up from mimimum wage jobs. Few people are born into rich households.

Lots moan about lack of money but have different priorities, some have a car, some a laptop, others socialise a lot or smoke. All are luxury items yet they will justify having them. Many will have made poor decisions, some will either not be working or just doing a few hours or they may have had children then couldnt afford but wanted them anyway so just had them.

True poverty is not in the uk, its in countries like the programmes mentioned. Governments in theird would countries could do more to help but individuals need to take responsibility too, having children is a choice.

MrsDeVere - far better said than I was managing, thank you.

I think it's mainly when those who are far better off start telling others what they 'should' be doing, and basing it on what they themselves can afford, and absolutely no thought to what the person they are talking to can afford.

EG - raving about how brilliant a slow cooker is with cheap cuts of meat and telling someone they absolutely MUST buy one, when that person couldn't dream of affording to buy one, let alone afford the electricity to run one all day long is insensitive, and it is the INSENSITIVITY that I think the OP is complaining about.

Not sure why people are claiming that "true poverty" doesn't exist in the UK either.

If you are sleeping rough, then that is true poverty. And there are lots of homeless people in the UK.

If you are surviving on nothing but a £10 food voucher a week, and relying on charity for help and shelter, then that is true poverty. And that happens in the UK.

If you are trying to bring up children in a home you cannot afford to heat, that is affected by damp which affects your childrens' health, and you cannot afford to move elsewhere, then that is poverty. And that happens in the UK.

I am pretty skint alot of the time- it means different things to different people though.

Skint to me is not having any money in the bank and having to borrow a fiver off my mum for the meter a few days before payday but i have food in the cupboards etc.

A woman i know claims she is skint but will then spend £20 on scratchcards and cigarettes, then text me that night asking if i have anything in the freezer for her kids dinner, or when they were younger if i had spare nappies as she ran out and couldn't buy any.

It's none of my business how she spends her money really but pleading poverty to me when she had £20 she could have used wisely is irresponsible. although she doesn't know how hard up i really am as i don't let on to anyone.

my other friend says she is skint butnto her that means she may have £100 in the bank- so she is too skint to go on a night out but better off than me as she can still put leckie in, fuel the car etc. it depends on your situation.

MrsDV, you are far to level-headed, common-sensed and empathic for this thread

I never, ever considered my upbringing privileged until I met people who are trapped in poverty. 'Tis all relative.

Totally what MrsDV said.

I've told this story on here before but friend was lamenting they were so hard up they couldn't afford a pony for their DD - I felt sooo sorry for them

And I know that even if you earn a lot you can still have financial worries - but I would never moan about the cost of stuff to someone who I knew was really struggling. Its all about empathy as others have said.

Well equally people with money may feel uncomfortable talking about what they do/buy as some people make them feel like they should apologise for having what they have, no matter how they have come to have it (hard work/inheritance)

I see MrsDV has been along. I agree 100% with her and Pacific.

This race to the bottom is the epitome of ignorance and lack of compassion for human beings. Quite disgusting, IMO.

Comparing yourself to somebody who has more, leads to misery.
Comparing yourself to somebody with less, leads to happiness and contentment with what you have.

I really try to live like that.

People who are good at budgeting/setting priorities/working towards a goal will of course always be better off (no matter what their overall means) than people who don't plan/budget or fritter their money away. So thank your lucky starts you are equipped with the tools to plan/budget.

Nice to see people with some common empathy and understanding have popped along to join the thread.

And sage to be honest you are the only one who appears to be in need of a gp appointment, I'm not sure why you are frothing at the mouth and what about?

Jinsie - it is on I player. It's called something like the buisest maternity hospital in the world.

I have spare cash but, in the past, have worked for several years in shanty towns in 3rd world countries. I dont think I have to personally experience poverty to understand it