That DN in dressed up in my bridesmaid outfit for halloween

[BeigeBuffet]

I got married in the summer and DN was my bridesmaid. She looked beautiful and I thought carefully about the dress that I gave her to wear. I also bought hair accessories to go with it.

On the day DN turned up without the hair accessories, but looking lovely in her dress. However, I've just seen photo's of her Halloween outfit and she has now been dressed up as a dead bride, with her lovely little bridesmaid dress ripped, torn and drawn on. She's also wearing all her hair accessories.

I know that children have to have outfits, but AIBU to think that maybe this outfit didn't need to be turned into a Halloween outfit? It makes me feel like our wedding outfits were tat.

Maybe she does think it was too similar but I'd rather not dwell on that because that makes me think it was done out of spite

I do hope it wasn't done out of spite, BeigeBuffet, but you see that is really my point.

If your SIL did think you had copied her Bridesmaid dresses, she could have been thinking you had done it out of spite and this could be her retaliation!

The thing is, you're not going to know why she did this, unless you and she talk about it. It sounds like that may be out of the question, so I think you should just try and put it behind you and forget it.

If she was a teenager I'd say YABU

But she's 5. There's loads of nice costumes she could have had, she's not old enough to make the decision as to cherish the dress or not, and has defo been influenced by SIL,. Bit weird for a 5 year old to be dead bride! so YANBU

I think the fact she has a younger dd that all pretty dresses could have been passed to shows it was out of spite - surely you'd only trash a nice dress if it had got to the end of it's useful life - and with a younger dd then there were definitely more wears to be had.

Um... Are you my SIL? DD wanted to wear the dress because it's lovely, and won't fit much longer. And it isn't ripped.

Ah no, missed a couple of posts. Can't be me, DDs weren't born when we were married.

Loopadaloopa I cant be, the dress I'm talking about is definately ripped and in the bin

Are we talking about "a dead bride", or The Corpse Bride, as played by Helena Bonham-Carter in e wonderful Tim Burton film?

It is definately a dead bride and not a corpse bride.

Honestly BB I would not mind this but conversely I have to say that if I was the SIL in this example I would have the sensitivity to see that it could be upsetting to you and I would therefore ask/not do it for that reason. So YANBU but really it's just a dress that she was never going to keep forever anyway.

Good point by maddening that nobody has mentioned. The younger DD could have used that dress.

I have quite expensive dresses my sister gave me for DD, they are nothing like as beautiful as the dress you describe OP. I couldn't destruct them like that. The ones that no longer fit I give to very good friends with younger DD's.

Some I keep!

As for her bridesmaids dresses and yours looking similar, well, they are bridesmaids dresses, they will invariably be pale of colour and fancy with a bow. FFS! SIL is out of order.

And rude.

Yanbu at all, there does seem to be an underlying disrespect from SIL towards you, which you have highlighted, ths is basically another incidence of it. To rip up a perfectly lovely dress is awful, it would have gone into the dress up box. Teir does seem be be a subliminal message.,

SIL sounds rude and entitled

She sounds awful dressing her young dd as a dead bride, says a lot about her and her standards