To think having a baby doesn't have to be expensive

[annabanana84]

I have just had my coil out as I thought dp and I would like to start ttc. As soon as I got home from having it out, dp started saying we should use condoms until this time next year as babies are very expensive and we don't have money for one. We both work and have a nice lifestyle but do have to watch the pennies. I am 30 and really, really x1000000 broody. I am pissed off at dp, because although babies do cost some money, we will have 9 months to buy all the baby things, even longer if we struggle to Conceive straight away. We will be getting most of the baby things second hand or off freecycle anyway to keep it cheap as possible. I hate the way dp let me get excited and now wants wait - a year! I don't want to get old and not have children :o( I think babies need love more than money and material things anyway!

That would be crummy but isnt really a good example. Working in a fulfilling job and if you are the only one continually leaving work and you are married in a relationship then that is wrong.

You have to remember the people who didnt get tcs all couldnt do anything with their lives hence the 100s of women in recent years going to university or pursuing careers. Post 2001 women can do that with children and dont have to waste all their good years as they have no childcare and no chance to educate themselves or work outside the home.

*pursuing professions once their adult children left home

olive, you remind me of another poster called sunny with some numbers, who was always saying that all was well in the world, no one had any real problems and feminism wasn't necessary because her husband did all the ironing.

can you show me where you got 65% from? I can't seem to find it.

Its figures on handouts we had on a work course. Yourtoastmildred- I have no idea what you are on about.

Olive

Waste all your good years

Each to their own, but I have never seen raising my dc as wasting good years .

ok someone else then. the poster I am thinking of was also called peteypirhana for a bit

Olive - ok so £275 a week for 2 v (90x2)= £180 x5 = £900 a week.

Here in London people don't tend to eat any tax credits or help with childcare as wages deemed too high even though it doesn't cover. So someone in London having £40k wouldn't be eligible for anything. However £20k gets you a 1/ poss 2 bed depending on location. So that's minimum rent really. More for bigger.

So £40k is now £20k
Childcare locally based on two above is £900 a week. Even dropping that to say £500 is £2000 a month. X12 is £24000

£20k- £24k = - £4000

So without paying any untilites/ food/ transport/ anything you are £4000 in debt.

Remember over £40k is seen as enough so no benefits/ free childcare.

In London, I cannot see how you can live for less than £60k is receiving no housing help/ childcare help/ benefits. That means one parent has to be earning that or more likely x2 parents are still needed to work

State schools need uniform/ school trips/ activities paid for here

You mention a party being £4.50 a head. The same here is £12.50 a head

You can combine the two though if you do so wish now which wasnt an option before and many women felt trapped. I know mil did even during the 80s and 90s and has since got her degree and works in a prestigious field. She thinks women with young families today have the option to do it years earlier than she did. That option just wasnt there pre 2001

I have only ever had one other name on here mildred

Oh, I'd much rather work than do childcare. But proper work, not 'fitting it round my partner' or squashed into the corner of a one-bedroomed flat. Work done in times, and ways, that is productive and fulfilling. And that requires childcare and for many of us those costs are prohibitive.

Did the op state she lived in London? Either way op it sounds like your partner is making excuses and I warn you not to waste your baby making years with a man who may be leading you on.

Artandco.

If people are prepared to spend stupid amounts per head on parties then of course they need a large income, whats wrong with doing it yourself and shopping at aldi .

Sorry, but kids cost as much as you want them too. Most of the time its the parents who wanting to keep up with the jones's makes it expensive.

I 100% agree motherinferior I very much hope that by thr time my own children are older childcare will be universal for all on all incomes so that women can carry on working like the nordic countries. I would support any party that brought that in no matter if I took a pay cut through tax increases.

artandco Here in London people don't tend to eat any tax credits or help with childcare as wages deemed too high even though it doesn't cover. So someone in London having £40k wouldn't be eligible for anything.

Extends this to the SE too. And I'm in the 'outer' SE. A 2-bed house nearby us came up for rent recently. Tiny 2-bed with one main bedroom and a nursery sized second bed room. £850pcm. Wouldn't fit a family unless it's one child in a toddler bed. I know this is nothing compared to london. But it's easy to see why people struggle.

Of course families can live in London for less than 60k a year. London is a big place, rent isn't 20k a year in all areas, or move outside and commute in like lots of people do. And I say stuff the £12.50 per head parties.

It is worse on post 40k incpmes or if your husbsnd is a high earner as then you do have to give everything up for your children. I believe that is wrong and doesnt reallt make good sense for the economy or womens wellbeing. I do believe childcare tax credits is a fantastic initiative but its far from enough

If your husband is a high earner????

Plenty of women earn high incomes.

I know I out earn and soon will significantly out earn my dh once I am qualified, but we can still carry on us with us botg working as tax credits helped us through the young years. That might of been a different story if I had been eaening as much when mine where in nursery as he or I would gave had to give up work.

Sadly my husband didn't pull in a fantastic income. We both earn similar. He has a slightly high salary but is employed by the university. I'm in private sector so it depends on my bonus and shares payout. This year I probably will pocket in more than him. Nothing amazing but above all the tax credit thresholds. Looking at

www.moneysavingexpert.com/news/reclaim/2012/03/families-must-prepare-for-tax-credit-cuts

for a one child family like us, it's only £41,200 combined income.

"or move outside and commute in like lots of people do. "

An annual travel card in zone 5 is over £2k a year.
Adding an hour each way to your commute is adding £10 a day to your childcare (assuming that a. you can find someone who will start at 7.30 or whatever, and not charge an extra fee for working outside 8 - 6, which I coudn't) = £50 x 52 (because you pay for childcare during holidays too) = £2,600

So "moving out" costs about another £383 a month in childcare (for one child only, obv. more for more children) and commuting (assuming you can arrange it) so I doubt you will make it pay in zone 5 if you can't make it pay in zone 3

Oh I wouldn't pay the expensive party rates, in just saying remember the same thing costs more elsewhere

The problem with moving out is then we would have high commuting costs ontop. Making it the same anyway

Also commuting cuts in precious time you can spend with your child.

yep the time is the real problem - not just because time is money, but because it gets very quickly to a point where you physically will not see your child awake in 24 hours.