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Original poster

To think having a baby doesn't have to be expensive

337 replies

annabanana84 · 31/10/2013 11:12

I have just had my coil out as I thought dp and I would like to start ttc. As soon as I got home from having it out, dp started saying we should use condoms until this time next year as babies are very expensive and we don't have money for one. We both work and have a nice lifestyle but do have to watch the pennies. I am 30 and really, really x1000000 broody. I am pissed off at dp, because although babies do cost some money, we will have 9 months to buy all the baby things, even longer if we struggle to Conceive straight away. We will be getting most of the baby things second hand or off freecycle anyway to keep it cheap as possible. I hate the way dp let me get excited and now wants wait - a year! I don't want to get old and not have children :o( I think babies need love more than money and material things anyway!

OP posts:
youretoastmildred · 01/11/2013 11:13

I think you need to find out if your dp wants children ever because really, unless one of you is expecting a huge promotion in a year, or a big inheritance (but really big, like pay off half the mortgage big), then what is going to change to make him feel ok about it?

Do you need / want to move somewhere cheaper or near family who can help with childcare?
Do you want to buy as opposed to rent?
Are there any other changes relatively within your control that you can make over the next 6 / 12 months?

If not, then the question is: kids or not? Right here, right now.
Nothing is going to make having kids easy, or cheap, or no trouble. Saving £200 a month for a year is going to give you a £1200 slush fund. Woop de doo, that's 1 / 2 months childcare. just get on with it. or not.

Artandco · 01/11/2013 11:14

Olive- nursery here is £90 per day per child. £160 for x2 per week is just a fantasy world.

Surely you can see that the reason you can afford children is that the government subsidises you lots?

School here have clubs too. But you have to pay for them. £7 for music, £5 football etc etc

Our 1 bed flat costs £1650 a month. What smaller accomadation do you think we should live in? A shed? Seeing as a parking space sold for £300k down the road I think even a shed would be out of each on one salary

oliveoctagon · 01/11/2013 11:17

No thats what I personally pay altogether its 275 a week

oliveoctagon · 01/11/2013 11:19

No matter what your income here school clubs are free as its a state school and I presumed thst was standard.

motherinferior · 01/11/2013 11:21

No, most clubs are a small amount to help pay the costs.

What are you going to do if one of your children wants to play a musical instrument? Go swimming? Go to birthday parties - or have a birthday party?

This stuff all costs. Making a virtue of penny-pinching martyrdom isn't fun.

BurberryFucker · 01/11/2013 11:21

well that is very nice for you, Olive, but no it is not standard - many state primary schools run expensive after school clubs, payable half a term in advance - in other words children on PP need not apply.

hardboiledpossum · 01/11/2013 11:22

olive I have worked with children for over ten years and that is not my experience at all. some children will eat anything but some children are fussy.

you also seem to live in some parallel universe where everyone gets tax credits. I don't personally know anyone who gets then, though I am obviously am aware that some families do I would have thought it a minority.

oliveoctagon · 01/11/2013 11:23

They do swimming I said that dance and fitness all 3 costs a fiver. Did a fun house party for 10 was only 4.50 a head with box meal, 2 hr play and party bags. Hardly bank breaking Hmm

oliveoctagon · 01/11/2013 11:23

Its 65%of families hardboiledpossum

hardboiledpossum · 01/11/2013 11:24

after school clubs and after school activities are not free where I live.

ifyourehoppyandyouknowit · 01/11/2013 11:25

Nor here.

hardboiledpossum · 01/11/2013 11:26

I'm genuinely shocked that 65% of families receive tax credits.

oliveoctagon · 01/11/2013 11:27

Why? We are on over 30k and get a lot. Average household income is 32k hardly that shocking

youretoastmildred · 01/11/2013 11:29

I think it is shocking too, not because people don't deserve them but because work doesn't pay

oliveoctagon · 01/11/2013 11:30

yourtoastmildred - We work 90 hours a week between us. I work a full time managerial job and a second job, and dh works full time.Most families have both earning who claim tax credits.

youretoastmildred · 01/11/2013 11:31

oh god olive are you sunny?

youretoastmildred · 01/11/2013 11:32

x-posted yes I know people in work get tax credits. That is what I mean, it is insane that so many people in work are having to be topped up.

And if you are who I think you are I don't want to be having a conversation with you. bye

oliveoctagon · 01/11/2013 11:33

Pardon?

hardboiledpossum · 01/11/2013 11:33

it is shocking that working 90 hours between you still doesn't give you enough to live on without benefits. wages are clearly far too low.

oliveoctagon · 01/11/2013 11:35

Its not benefits its tax credits to go to work for childcare hence why 65% of families get it. Its the way it will be until childcare is free for all, its a great idea imo.

BurberryFucker · 01/11/2013 11:36

successive governments since 'New Labour' have made damned sure that work doesn't pay....so tax credits IS the 'default' position for most working families, then they can be scapegoated and controlled, i hope that people see that?

hardboiledpossum · 01/11/2013 11:38

poverty.org seems to suggest the number in receipt of tax credits is much lower at 17%?

oliveoctagon · 01/11/2013 11:38

What other suggestion is there burberry? Go back to the horrible old days where women had to stay at home as they had no childcare and had no choice but to give up their lives? At least this way women have options and choices.

oliveoctagon · 01/11/2013 11:39

For childcare element hardboiled. You can get tax crefits on over 40k towards childcare.

BurberryFucker · 01/11/2013 11:42

Go back to the horrible old days where women had to stay at home as they had no childcare and had no choice but to give up their lives
if your idea of a 'life' is working in some crummy office without a contract in some dead end job where you will be 'first out' (since that phonecall you had about little Johnny banging his head when you had to leave in a hurry) - then frankly, I pity you.