To think having a baby doesn't have to be expensive

[annabanana84]

I have just had my coil out as I thought dp and I would like to start ttc. As soon as I got home from having it out, dp started saying we should use condoms until this time next year as babies are very expensive and we don't have money for one. We both work and have a nice lifestyle but do have to watch the pennies. I am 30 and really, really x1000000 broody. I am pissed off at dp, because although babies do cost some money, we will have 9 months to buy all the baby things, even longer if we struggle to Conceive straight away. We will be getting most of the baby things second hand or off freecycle anyway to keep it cheap as possible. I hate the way dp let me get excited and now wants wait - a year! I don't want to get old and not have children :o( I think babies need love more than money and material things anyway!

I have found you dont spend much at all even as they are older oldest dc is nearly 6 and its cheap having her maybe only expensive is going swimming and buying school uniform but even thats quite cheap these days

Tax credits have been cut right back too, you don't need to be well off to be exempt from getting anything.

No not night shift I meant evening type of thing. I work in day up to 7 days 50+ hours but I dont pay my own childcare is tax credit funded.

dh and I work 90+ hours and get nearly all our childcare for 2 kids in childcare 50 hours a week eacg and we are well off to us.

School uniform was relatively cheap in primary school for us, but in secondary school not at all. I have to use the set supplier, it all has to be embroidered with the school crest, and precious little is available second hand.

They seem to change enough of it every few years that I have not really been able to use hand-me-downs from the older sister, and this summer had to fork out over £200 for my youngest to get her uniform. The PE kit had totally changed too, so had to be bought again from new. More expense.

It all depends on the lifestyle you lead if its like married or topseyt it will be expensive but if you jyst lead a normal life normal school etc it wont be that expensive.

Depends on the school. Ds is still in the stuff I bought at the start of Y7 (in Y8 now). Probably only £150-ish, excluding shoes and trousers. Shoes probably come in at £200 a year, trousers about £50. So that's £325 in total per year for uniform.

My friend on the other hand (again, a state school) has had to shell out far more thanks to her son's school's blazer and special trouser fetish.

And of course there's out of school clothing to buy, too

6 Year olds' uniforms on the other hand cost pennies in comparison.

Uniforms round here are any old black trousers, couple of quid polo and the sweater with a logo on up to yr 11. Its dirt cheap lots of people have 3+ kids and manage it on low wages.

We don't do that many of the extras, and after school clubs are free at my daughters' school. I say no to any trips we cannot afford (like a £930 skiing trip). School uniform is really the major expense, plus the school "reward trip" (for good behaviour and attendance) once a year which usually comes to about £30.

Once we have the uniform I make them wear it until they really are grown out of it. My 15 year old still wears the blazer and blouses she had in year 7, so her younger sister had to have a new ones. All needed the school logos and crest on them, so cannot be just bought in the supermarket. Also, they are entirely different sizes and shapes, so a school kilt I was hoping to hand down simply didn't fit and would have kept falling off my youngest.

And yes, it is a state school.

I think it is shitty of him to agree to TTC and then backtrack almost immediately. What is his plan over the next year to have enough money in place? Has he discussed a savings plan or is this just an excuse to put off TTC because he is scared now it has become a reality?

I think there is more to this that what he is saying and you need to get it sorted out, you dont want to be back here in another year with him coming up with another excuse. I have seen women wish away their chance to have children in situations like this.

babies need not to too expensive, though of course if a couple wish to continue working, child care can be horrendously dear.

However, children are extortionate.

No matter how cheaply you want to do it, they still eat like buggers, grow out of their clothes, use up fuel...

And if you want to provide them anything like an advantaged upbringing, it will cost you a fortune.

How do they manage to eat so much? How?

It's baffling.

As you say you both work but still have to watch the pennies, you need to consider how you'd manage when one of your salaries was spent entirely on childcare or lost because you're looking after the child at home.

Did you both agree that you were going to get the coil taken out and start TTC?

All of the above. Am putting a lock on the fridge! They eat sooooooo much

I agree with what others have said, they don't need to be expensive until they hit the teenage years. We have 4 ranging between 15 down to 9 and I am dreading them all being teenagers and costing such a lot! And that''s before they even start thinking about University. I have 3 huge boys they cost a fortune in food , wear man sized clothes and shoes etc. We are very lucky that we have always both worked around each other so have never paid much out in childcare costs, otherwise we would be significantly struggling. We just about get by with the income we have.

Lots of ways round it op. Our dcs school does street dance, fitness, ballet, science, gardening etc so there is about 20 activities to do all free. Clothes are cheap in bundles off facebook until they are about 7 and then you can buy all brands on ebay for dirt cheap so they have the best for a bargain. Food cant say is a big expense they just have what we have.

Dependent on your area there are lots of educational and fun things you can do for free/cheap

How can you say food is not a big expense because they just have what you have? Ours have what we have but twice as much of it - in fact more than that.

But Oliveoctagon it does get more expensive. This week I have brought DS's 2 and 3 cheap trainers, cheap school shoes, a gum shield, a scientific calculator, paid for 2 school trips (£29 each). These things were essential plus we've done fun half term things which obviously I chose to spend money on. Food bills goes absolutely through the roof when you have teenagers. Plus we are saving towards driving lessons and university costs.

Our dcs and my dh eat quite a bit but food bill is only 50 a week. Its not a lot really imo. Creamycolour - Yeah you sometimes have to buy things but things uni is for them to sort out, like dh and I did with the student loan they give you. Its not that much as some people are saying eg 150 a week per child

But olive that means you're entirely dependent on what the school might offer. Which might be poor quality or not what your DC are into.

Virtually all cultural activities are ££££.

Even joining a football team at the most down at heel club will involve good quality footie boots/kit etc. Also as a parent yo will have to ferry them every other Sunday to the arse end of nowhere for the 'away' fixture. So at the very least you will need a car and petrol!

Children cost a fortune!

And as for university, you do know that the maximum maintencance loan often does not even cover the cost of halls of residence/accommodation, let alone food/books/transport/cloths.

Parents are expected to meet the difference!

Not read whole thread yet so excuse me if this has already been said but ime babies are cheap it's when they get to 9 things suddenly get really pricey!

I did uni and managed to fund the lot on the loan and a part time job. My best friend is at 20 and at uni gets no help from parents and we are very regularly out drinking shes in rented. Also laughable you need a car with kids unless you chose to live somewhere ridiculous and out the way.

Sorry did uni a couple of years back even ran a mortgage on student loan pre kids in 2006-2008 with no kids, no benefits with both of us at uni.