To think that if your child is scared of dogs you should encourage them not to scre and wail if my dog is 300 ft away...

[Beccadugs]

Walking my dog today, she was of lead, about 10ft ahea of me waiting for me to chuck the ball. A child cycled towards us, saw my dog (who is half toy poodle so tiny) and started screaming. My dog just looked at her and then carried on our walk, if she was the type to run up to strangers/kids she wouldn't be off the lead. However, when she was a puppy and less well trained this screaming was an invitation (in her mind) to investigate.

While I accept that some children are scared of dogs, and that is fine. I would have thought that if there is a dog in the general vicinity encouraging your DC not to scream is probably for the best when the dog is ignoring you completely. AIBU, we all want to use the local facilities happily.

There's a child near me who us clearly terrified of dogs. Every time I see her I make sure that MadDog is on a very tight lead & if the space is narrow I make him sit while they walk past. However, her parents really do not help. MadDog is a retriever so not a particularly fierce dog & whilst I don't expect then to fuss over him (nor would I want then to as he gets completely overexcited if someone talks to him - not great for a fearful child) their reaction doesn't help. They never reassure her, but always pick her up and swing her around & give us dirty looks! It's very odd. And as I said before I have had a child was who terrified of dogs.

My eldest ASD son isn't keen either - he doesn't like fur & used to be very scared - in his case exposure exposure exposure has worked. He's still not keen if a strange dog approaches him (shuts his eyes every time he's near my parents puppy) but he's not terrified like he used to be.

I think like most things there's a happy medium where everyone could co-exist happily with a bit of consideration from both sides. I DO occasionally see dogs that I think should not be off lead - although usually because they're dog reactive. I did see one this weekend that I felt should have been on the lead & I called my children away. However ime that is very rare.

And if you have young children just be aware in my experience a child who is fearful of dogs does start to lose out when kids get to the age where they start going to each others houses alone. Ds2 certainly did - he had to find a way to deal with his fear or he really was never going to get any out of school invitations at all, they were drying up. And he did switch from hating to absolutely loving dogs - it can be done.

Hmmm, ONE poster on ONE very old thread used the term 'fur baby'. Why Curlew feels the need to bring that term up again and again on an unrelated thread is beyond me

Eve- my Facebook newsfeed is full of them. And I suspect people on here of being closet "fur baby"ers.

Gobbolino, what exactly do you want OP to apologise for? Living? Existing? Breathing?

Curlew, you should choose your FB friends more discerningly then. No-one says it on mine, and mine is full of Rescuers, Rescue Owners, dog owners, dog lovers and one Dog Warden.

I like dogs but because their recles owners ( not all but the one I came across) I am seriously starting to dislike them. IT OWNERS who are sometimes deluded!!! Talking from very bad experience.

But generally i feel that people who dislike animals seem to lack empathy

Okay LEMis I appreciate your expanding on this, and what you say in your longer version does make sense, but I could just as easily turn this phrase on its head and say that people who really (over) empathise with animals sometimes have something of a problem with human interraction (I'm not sure I actually believe that totally, but as a theory it holds water as much as the the reverse iyswim).

But in any case does anyone really actively dislike animals...apart from, as you say, those who can take them or leave them or who are scared? I'm not sure there is such a person...just in the imaginations of people who really LOVE animals (my goodness we could carry on all night like this...oh wait, we have! )

Needaholidaynow - dog owners will always talk tosh to us parents....

Beccagain- spot on

There are a wide variety of animals on this earth. Humans do not own the earth. We need to co exist with animals. We have lots of foxes in our City that sit out in grassy areas near houses. Should they be killed in case a child is scared of them?

No LT the fact a child was upset by her dog.

I am a dog owner, our problems go the other way we are usually fighting children off, stroking the cute little white dog, I can't walk down a street in peace without people wanting to pet my dog.

I am strict about letting children pet her who have asked nicely.

Those that do not ask, are told they should not approach a dog to stroke as they do not know what its nature.

My dog is fast like a bullett when she runs, I only take her off lead if we see no one about, as she can run towards people then veer off at the last minuet, There is nothing remotely scary about my dog.

However I appreciate that people are scared its scary having a dog bounding about.

If anyone looks scared near my dog, I always apologise.

Having a dog has opened up my eyes to the arrogant world of dog owners.

Im sorry needaholiday - i didn't mean to upset you, but you probably do pass on your fears without realisng it. I didn't mean it was your fault, i probably shouldn't have said anything. :( I think if you tackle your own fear/dislike you will be better placed to help your DS.. of course you do know the best thing is to face your fears, live with them all the time - you need to get a dog Actually only half joking, would you consider it?

Becca - Yes some people who over empathise with animals do have problems with interaction with humans. This is very common amongst people who have suffered multiple abuse at the hands of parents, partners, relatives. I am not like them, I do have empathy for their situation.

becca hmmmmm, you could well be right Seriously, i think that is quite a fair point.

Gobbolino, but OPs dog ignored the child and didnt go anywhere near her, so how is it the dogs (or OPs) fault? There is nothing to apologise for.

I came to the point that if the dog will come close to me and owner doesn't give a two penny about it I go in a full rant.
I am sick of it. My dd was 3 times attacked in the park on three different occasions . First time was a heart stopping . She was two and I was holding her hand slow walking through the park and dog just came from the back and literally mount her- I went creazy. I pushed the dog with all my strength and did call police becaouse owner was real s....
On other yrwo occasions , she was also small- dog came uncalled and unprovoked and same stupid jumping thing.
DOG owners keep your dogs away, it's your fault kids are scared. My dd now freezes if dog is even across the road thanks to unresponsible dog owners.
So do not blame parents
Rant over.

Gobblino, i know what you mean - although i dont have to fight folk off wth with my non-descript little jacks :( If i am walking my mum's yeti dog, huge overgrown GSD type dog that doesn't like being approached, you got it, im fighting off people who want to stroke the big doggie I allow a very quick hello and move on as he doesn't like too much attention, but sometimes people just approach wthout asking. I had the same with my two rottweilers though, i would avoid walking near people because of the polar reactions - the people who would walk into a path of a bus to avoid and the ones who would come over to pet the big teddy bears, both of those dogs loved the attention but one had a habit of giving his paw and i'd worry he would knock someone's child out!

Sorry bad typo- my phone

because her dog caused the child to cry, if her dog had not been there it would not have cried.

Children need to be taught how to behave around dogs, Otherwise they are at risk of being bitten.
Life is full of risks, and children need to taught how to minimalism those dangers.

Otherwise how could you ever let them cross a road, play on a play park,play a sport, go swimming, chop with a knife, etc etc. all risk filled activites yet we tesch them how to respond snd act appropriate to rduce the dangers.

Dog owners also have to reduce risks, so if your dog is aggressive, train it, and give it a muzzle, but if your dog isnt just control it.

Of course dogs shoud be pff the lead, what sort of cotton wrapped kids do we want. Dogs are very rarely dangerous, kids very rarely get hurt, they are far more at risk of getting hurt on the roads.

My daughter is properly terrified of wasps, so we are teaching her to get used to them. Not run around like am idiot flappimg her arms as she will more likely get stung. Same goes with dogs.

I agree with the OP. I have a child who would cry and get upset when she saw a dog. I do think children pick up on your reactions and your response.
She still doesn't like them but through talking and normalising exposure to dogs etc she is getting better and just makes sure she is close to me when she comes into contact with a dog.
Surely this is a more appropriate reaction? If the dog is a threat then being close to an adult is a much better response than wailing / screaming and flailing arms. It is a parents job to help a child to learn this. It does of course depend on the age of the child.
If a dog is well behaved and responds to instructions I have no problem with them being walked off lead.