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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that if your child is scared of dogs you should encourage them not to scre and wail if my dog is 300 ft away...

468 replies

Beccadugs · 30/10/2013 21:50

Walking my dog today, she was of lead, about 10ft ahea of me waiting for me to chuck the ball. A child cycled towards us, saw my dog (who is half toy poodle so tiny) and started screaming. My dog just looked at her and then carried on our walk, if she was the type to run up to strangers/kids she wouldn't be off the lead. However, when she was a puppy and less well trained this screaming was an invitation (in her mind) to investigate.

While I accept that some children are scared of dogs, and that is fine. I would have thought that if there is a dog in the general vicinity encouraging your DC not to scream is probably for the best when the dog is ignoring you completely. AIBU, we all want to use the local facilities happily.

OP posts:
bunchoffives · 31/10/2013 11:55

Couldn't you put them on an extending lead and take the muzzle off for ball playing?

livingzuid · 31/10/2013 12:02

Sheep you are very right about the polarisation. The majority of child and dog owners are fab. I hate how the minority of idiots get picked up on in the press and mass denunciation of all takes place. You describe my jrt exactly. He's so scared of bigger dogs and can get quite agitated. Even worse now I am pregnant as he is also super protective!

I live in the Netherlands now where it's quite a different attitude. I find dog owners here far worse on the whole so it's always a relief to bring the hound home! And they never clean up after their animals ever. It's so disgusting. They don't believe in neutering so there are lot of aggressive large male dogs running around. I know pit bulls have a bad press but they are legal here and some have been quite aggressive to my dog. Some of the posters on here have no idea how lucky they really are!

LST · 31/10/2013 12:03

No. Not unless you have indestructible shoulders.

I didn't pay god knows how much at puppy classes and put in hours of work with my dog, just so when we go out and play ball on a deserted field he has to be on a lead or muzzled just incase someone the other side no where near is scared of dogs.

AllDirections · 31/10/2013 12:09

Let's get one thing straight. Dogs are animals. Not people, no matter how many times you talk to them in stupid baby voices. Well said!

Children should not taken to places where dogs will likely be loose You mean like parks, beaches and woods?? Really Hmm

My instinct is to mistrust people who dislike animals, it is rarely incorrect. Shock I don't like dogs, some of my friends are dog lovers. We trust each other just as much because our friendships are not based on whether we like animals or not but on mutual respect and consideration.

DD3 (6) screams (and runs if I let her) if she spots a dog. Of course I don't let her or encourage her, they're the worst things a child can do if the dog is a vicious bastard. I can understand her being scared (people don't need any particular reason to be scared of something) but I do get irritated when she makes a fuss when walking past a quiet dog on a lead that is totally ignoring us. We have lots of talks about it and I'm sure she'll grow out of it. DD2 (13) was just as bad when she was small. I do anticipate DD3's reactions if we spot a dog so I often say things like 'See that dog over there, isn't he being good. Do you remember X had a dog like that, blah, blah?' So then she doesn't make a fuss unless the irresponsible dog owner lets the dog come bounding over.

And thank you to anyone who can see that a child is scared and moves over or stops to let them past. This goes a long way to dealing with a child being scared of dogs.

trixymalixy · 31/10/2013 12:13

I was doing well teaching my kids how to act appropriately around dogs, until a twatty owner with out of control dogs allowed them to run at us and jump all over me and DD, knocking her over. We were in our way to her ballet class, her ballet tights were ruined and the pair of us were covered in mud and had to go home.

No apology from the dog owner. They were "just being friendly". Fucking twat. I could see that they were just wanting to play but DD was hysterical.

DD now gets hysterical if we go near the park never mind sees a dog.

So OP you are being very fucking unreasonable. If you want to blame someone blame other dog owners and keep your animals away from other people. I don't want a dog so much as sniffing me or my children thanks very much.

trixymalixy · 31/10/2013 12:16

Children should not taken to places where dogs will likely be loose Hmm Angry Are you for real?!?!?!

ODFOD

LST · 31/10/2013 12:23

trixy the ops dog did not go near the child. as she had said. numerous times.

BeCoolFucker · 31/10/2013 12:24

I feel sorry for most of the dogs around our way. All these so called devoted animal lovers keeping dogs, in flats, without gardens, in a very urban area.

That is not loving animals - I think it is cruel and selfish behaviour obo the owners. Yet there are so many of them.

Mystuff · 31/10/2013 12:24

OP-
Please please teach how to stop my 2 year old screaming when she sees a dog.......

Yes YABextremelyridiculouslyU

Fear of dogs when you are a small vulnerable child is IMO a completely rational self defence survival mechanism. Dogs can (and do) kill children.

When my child screams at strange dogs it has never occurred to me to feel sorry for the dog, or their owner!!!

Rinoachicken · 31/10/2013 12:30

I am a dog owner, have a 3yr old rescued JRT. He's soft with people but hates other dogs. He is always on lead and muzzled when on walks.

I grew up with dogs, but as someone else said earlier, having my own dog has really opened my eyes to how many other dog owners are so blinded by the love of their dog they act totally irresponsibly.

As I said, our JRT is on lead and muzzled, he also wears a yellow jacket identifying him as a dog that 'needs space'. I have lost count of the amount of times we have had to deal with situations where another dog owner has let their off lead dog approach ours without permission.

Yes there are some dogs that will not approach and ignore us - fabulous, I wish all dogs were as well trained. But sadly about 8 out of 10 dogs we meet on our walks will come bounding over and get in his face. When I see a dog approaching I will shout to the owner to recall their dog, to which I usually get a response of 'it's ok he's friendly', to which I have to shout back, 'but mine isn't, call off your dog!' all the while restraining mine in a smaller and smaller space as their dog is STILL approaching. Worse still wen he owner is too far away to hear me, and I end up having to pck my dog up. It really makes me angry that we have been responsible and muzzled our dog but they can't be arsed to keep theirs under control.

An off lead dog that approaches other dogs or people without invitation is NOT under control, and I don't care if it comes back to you when called or not, it shouldn't be approaching in the first place.

IceBeing · 31/10/2013 12:34

I have two questions:

  1. If people really loved dogs, why would they keep them as pets?
  2. If a dog runs up to my DD (2yo) and pushes her over am I allowed to kick the dog into touch? (I will of course announce loudly that I am just being friendly really).
womblesofwestminster · 31/10/2013 12:36

I've never understood the obsession with dog ownership. Why is it so important? Why is it even necessary?

LST · 31/10/2013 12:38

I'll set my free tonight ice...Hmm

You could ssy that about having children. .. What a stupid thing to say!

LtAllHallowsEve · 31/10/2013 12:38

Mystuff, your child screaming at strange dogs is more likely to get her bitten.

A good dog owner will see her distress and move their dog off, a good parent will teach her how dangerous her screaming is.

LtAllHallowsEve · 31/10/2013 12:39

Icebeing, would you kick another child that knocked your child over?

Rinoachicken · 31/10/2013 12:40

A dog is not a child

womblesofwestminster · 31/10/2013 12:43

LST adult humans have a biological drive to procreate - hence children. They do not have a biological drive to keep dogs. So I ask, why is it even necessary?

territt · 31/10/2013 12:45

Maybe the kids should be on a lead. at least twice in the last year I've had kids just run up and grab my dogs tail. and she's a pretty big German Shepard.

Luckily she only sees them as playing and licks back (unless food in involved). But surely the parent out with the child should be in control of it.

Chattymummyhere · 31/10/2013 12:46

I have two dogs...

One goes off lead one does not unless in the only dog off lead area because she runs and runs but even in the dog off lead area we encounter all sorts of people terrified of dogs yet there is a sign clear as day " dogs allowed off lead unless cows in field" as its a gated field..

So even with the one place in my city that all dogs are allowed off we still have to contend with people scared of dogs and it does my head in.

One if my dogs is great and would just walk next to you and not even notice an elephant next to her the other likes freedom to much which is why she is kept on a lead unless in the off lead area..

We need more dog areas but then people also need to understand if they go into one of those areas dogs will be everywhere as it is their space..

IceBeing · 31/10/2013 12:47

would I kick a child? hmm interesting question.

I think the main difference is that a feel confident that I could pick up, move and restrain a child without further endangering myself or my DD.

With a dog I think I wouldn't feel I had that luxury....what with the teeth and claws and predatory attitude...

I am not saying that humans are not also predators...but young children aren't.

Yes - I think it all comes down to physical superiority. If an adult shoved my DD to the floor I would attempt to inflict pain on them as I would have no hope of restraining them. If it is a child, my superiority of strength would allow me a non violent route out.

An unknown dog falls into the questionable category regarding my ability to restrain without injury...

IceBeing · 31/10/2013 12:50

keeping dogs as pets is so very last millennium.....we really should have grown out of that kind of behaviour.

My guess is it won't last another 100 years.

trixymalixy · 31/10/2013 12:52

LST, you think that was a stupid thing to say, really? Yet you say you could say that having children is not important or necessary. Words fail me.Your comment must be the most ridiculous thing I have read on MN. Hmm, let me think what would happen if people stopped having children.......

Chattymummyhere · 31/10/2013 12:52

Oh and if someone kicked my friendly dog for daring to just be walking past their child I could garentee I would call the police for animal abuse and be passing on vets bills and the cost of behaviour training to then stop my dog being afraid of people..

Though if you kicked my dog you would proberly break your foot anyway as my vet always says my German shepherds are pure muscle not an inch of fat..

Unless a dog is attacking there is no need to attack a dog...

IceBeing · 31/10/2013 12:53

There is definitely something wrong with anyone who thinks dogs are as important to human society as children.

Yes they might be more important to you personally...but they will never be more important to society as a whole.

territt · 31/10/2013 12:53

Icebeing,

  1. If a dog runs up to my DD (2yo) and pushes her over am I allowed to kick the dog into touch? (I will of course announce loudly that I am just being friendly really). - If your child runs up to my dog and pulls her tail are you ok with me kick your daughter into touch?