to be so angry? mum 'can't remember' if I had chickenpox or not

[dreamingbohemian]

Okay I have a rather fraught relationship with my mother so am prepared to be told I'm being unreasonable.

My DS has just come down with chickenpox. As it happens, my parents are visiting. I asked them what I looked like when I had it, and my stepfather says, Oh you never had chickenpox, you had measles.

Well, this was news to me! My mother has always regaled me with stories about how awful I looked when I had chickenpox, how the family called me Spot, etc.

Now she says, oh right, it was measles. She 'can't remember' if I also had chickenpox.

AIBU or is this total bullshit? My reasons for being angry are:

1. I took no precautions re CP when I was pregnant because I thought I'd already had it.

1. I spend a lot of time with the ILs which includes tiny babies and now a pregnant SIL -- now that I know I might get it from my son, I won't go near them, but I would have seen them this week otherwise and could have been infectious.

1. I could have got the vaccine myself years ago, or gotten one for DS. Now I just have to wait and see if I get it too in the next week.

I know normally chickenpox is no big deal, I'm not freaking out or anything, but it can indeed be serious sometimes and I'm just so angry that my mum has never mentioned anything or thought about it. She does know the risks because now she's super worried about DS, so I don't know what her deal is.

AIBU to be angry?

...but I see the assumption you made there

I'm only 40 and my DS is 16 and I have no idea if he had chicken pox. He has been exposed lots of times and has had various rashes but were they chicken pox? No idea.

My mum tells everyone my younger sister DID have CP as a small child because after being exposed to it she developed 3 spots on her leg. Did she?

The only definitive proof anyone has that they have been exposed to the CP virus is with a blood test.

There are people who think they WERE exposed and weren't and think they WEREN'T and were.

Obviously there are some very obvious cases (like me who had it as an adult and had them bastard spots inside and out).

Knowledge about infectious disease does not equal love. There is more going on here.

They test all pregnant women for chicken pox immunity

Well, I'm an only child, and my Mother always told me that I'd not had CP - so when my children were small and caught it, I expected to catch it from them, and when I didn't, I assumed that I was naturally immune.

Then about 8 years ago, I got a rash on my leg - went to my GP and was told that it was shingles.... . So somewhere along the way, I've obviously had CP - despite neither my Mum nor I being able to remember it.....

I know that my two both had it - but have no idea when........

Okay

I accept that in some cases chicken pox isn't that clear cut.

Where it was clear-cut I'd expect to remember. It's not very pleasant, after all

I am taking this thread as impetus to write in both my children's red NHS books that they had chicken pox this year.

You've got me thinking about my kids.
I can't remember if DS1 has had chickenpox. I remember something when I was away one time and my mum was looking after him and she said he was fine.

I'm going to have to ring her up and ask!

I don't think DS2 has had them.
They are 17 and 14 so I should remember.

Thanks for the words of support re dealing with my mum even if I'm BU here.

I'm glad at least one person seems to agree with me on the CP Newt thanks!
It's true that having spent all last night and today with a spotty, itchy, poorly little boy, it seems strange to think I'll forget this. But obviously maybe in 20 years I'll know different. I'll only have the one child so I think that will make it easier.

sameold they don't test all women for immunity in the UK, it's not routine

I think YANBU to be upset.
My mother can't remember what time I was born. Not, exactly, I mean claims to have no idea if it was morning, noon or night. It has put paid to my astrological charts I can tell you! Even my dad couldn't remember. I know I was the third girl and they wanted a boy but jeez. So I understand the discomfiting emotions this kind of thng can bring to the fore.

bringmetea my DD is only a year old and i sometimes struggle now to remember what time she was born with all that went on that night/day - i was out of it half the time on medication. I also cant remember the date she started crawling, cant remember when her first teeth appeared, cant remember the date she first smiled or any of that stuff - its only stuff and none of it is important in the big scheme of life.

I think some people need to get a grip on perspective in life.

Peggy , me too. Can't remember most of what you've listed. Mine is 23 so there is an even longer list of things I can't remember.

yabu

chicken pox is not a deadly disease to children,(ok maybe rarely)its usually such a non issue,when kids have it and arent really ill with it then you wouldnt really remember.

you can get blod test done to see if you are immune to it or not,i had to have one as i came into contact with slapped cheek in early pregnancy,my mum didnt think id had it but turned out i had and it was all fine.