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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

or is my DH?

80 replies

spacegirl81 · 28/10/2013 16:27

First time poster here so please be gentle! Grin

So we have agreed to sell our house and buy a larger family house, which we are hoping to be our forever house.

I contacted 3 EA to arrange meetings, and after discussion we found one we were happy with if they could match fixed fee. Contacted them, they could so after a weekend of sorting/cleaning/tidying house they came to do measurements/photos today.

Prior to meeting we were informed (at initial meeting) of their fees, t&cs etc so we were up to date on this. DH wanted to see paperwork first before we signed to them (even though we had nominated them on the phone). Worth mentioning that house/mortgage is in DH name, but living together 9 years, married 4 with 2 kids.

Today the EA came round with paperwork to sign, take measurements and do pictures. The paperwork set out exactly what we already knew and agreed to over the phone so I signed it on our behalf. DH is pissed off because I've gone against him and our original decision to look at paperwork together. I explained that if was the same so I made a decision and signed it so we could get the house up for sale ASAP. He's still not happy and is now being grumpy. So was I unreasonable to make an informed decision and sign as it was what we knew and agreed to?!!!

OP posts:
Tommy · 28/10/2013 16:29

I think you are both being unreasonable in not having your name on the deeds of your house.
Are you a partnership? If so, why does it matter who signs something?

Chottie · 28/10/2013 16:31

No I don't think you are being unreasonable- however, I would make sure my name is on the deeds of the next home. No excuses about you being a SAHM either

Sorry I hope this does not sound too bossy!!! just looking out for you

livinginwonderland · 28/10/2013 16:33

YABU to not have your name on the paperwork. You're intending to live there forever, why on earth would you not put your name on the deeds?! Also, if your DH asked you to wait before he signed paperwork, you should have waited. It's not a big deal to wait an extra couple of days.

Original poster
spacegirl81 · 28/10/2013 16:35

The mortgage/house is in his name as he brought it before we were together, was (and is) always the plan if put my name on both when we move.

OP posts:
Sandiacre · 28/10/2013 16:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CatAmongThePigeons · 28/10/2013 16:38

I didn't think you could sign as you're not named on the deeds?

lifesgreatquestions · 28/10/2013 16:43

Sandiacre, my name wasn't on the mortgage. When we separated I had to take out a new mortgage an din doing so incurred extra costs.

OP, I'm also surprised you could sign, but to be honest I don't think it's a big deal to sign or to wait. Makes me think there's something else afoot, perhaps stress about moving, etc?

mayorquimby · 28/10/2013 16:44

100% yabu

ImAlpharius · 28/10/2013 16:49

Yabu, while it's not really a big deal he asked you not to until he had seen the paperwork itself, if I had asked DH to wait and he did it anyway I would be very unhappy.

Original poster
spacegirl81 · 28/10/2013 16:51

Just checked with EA (again) and I can sign as it's their paperwork. Not solicitors. That would need to be DH.

OP posts:
HorryIsUpduffed · 28/10/2013 16:54

EA are jokers - you can't market a house without the owner's signature - do they understand that you aren't legally an owner?

YABU, sorry. He explicitly asked you to wait. Twenty-four hours wouldn't have made any much difference.

Original poster
spacegirl81 · 28/10/2013 16:56

No financial implication either. Info was what we was verbally told.

OP posts:
sandtimerhalfempty · 28/10/2013 17:08

Are you legally allowed to sell a house you don't own?

Strumpetron · 28/10/2013 17:09

YABU sorry, why wouldn't you just wait?

FlapJackOLantern · 28/10/2013 17:12

How can you sign an agreement with the EA to sell a house that, actually, isn't yours? I think you should have waited, as agreed.

Lottiedoubtie · 28/10/2013 17:14

The EA are most out of order for marketing a house without the owners signature.

Also I think it's reasonable for both you and DH to read the paperwork together and make a joint decision on whether or not to sign.

Even more so if his ownership of the house predates your relationship.

RhondaJean · 28/10/2013 17:16

You signed to sell something you didn't own without the owners consent. That's a form of fraud.

eurochick · 28/10/2013 17:17

I think it would have been wise to wait.

We're in the reverse situation (house is mine as my husband had another mortgage when we bought it) and I'd feel odd about him signing anything to do with the house when all of the obligation is legally mine.

I'm always surprised that BT deal with him actually. He is nowhere on the paperwork. But has managed to put us on to a whizzier and more expensive broadband package without me having any say twice now (I haven't complained as it has been convenient because I am rarely home for various reasons, but they shouldn't have done it).

lottiegarbanzo · 28/10/2013 17:22

So why wasn't he there? He knew when the appointment was? Or did he ask you to hold on to the papers for him to sign later? You should have done what you agreed

Original poster
spacegirl81 · 28/10/2013 17:24

It's to put the house on the market, not sold paperwork. We are both in agreement, EA said I can sign on behalf of vendor as we are married. Fraud is a bit excessive when we agree on selling. I've not gone behind his back and put it up for sale without his knowledge. Confused

OP posts:
Original poster
spacegirl81 · 28/10/2013 17:26

He was at work so was happy to let me deal with EA for both of us.

OP posts:
Casmama · 28/10/2013 17:27

"Dh wanted to see the paperwork before we signed to them"

YABU, not sure why you would think otherwise. I suggest you get your communication straight and do what you say you are going to do- moving house is stressful enough.

Original poster
spacegirl81 · 28/10/2013 17:32

And I agree he did, but there wasn't anything different on there to what we already knew and verbally agreed to. Hey ho! Done now Grin

OP posts:
NaiveWoman · 28/10/2013 17:34

Well I would have found his reaction a sign that he doesn't trust me to read the paperwork from the EA and evaluate whether it was OK or not.

We were in a similar position before, DH had a house he bought just when we met. My name wasn't on the deeds or the mortgage.
That didn't stop the EA to ring me when the buyer gave them a price we agreed on and I told them it was OK. Even though I wasn't the owner. Why not? We were married, the house was in effect both his and mine and we agreed in the first place it was OK.
The other thing that happened is that I was asked to sign paperwork to say I was happy for the sale to happen as I was living in the house too, we were married do DH couldn't sell wo my approval anyway.

NaiveWoman · 28/10/2013 17:35

Did he say why he wanted to see the paperwork himself?

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