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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

or is my DH?

80 replies

spacegirl81 · 28/10/2013 16:27

First time poster here so please be gentle! Grin

So we have agreed to sell our house and buy a larger family house, which we are hoping to be our forever house.

I contacted 3 EA to arrange meetings, and after discussion we found one we were happy with if they could match fixed fee. Contacted them, they could so after a weekend of sorting/cleaning/tidying house they came to do measurements/photos today.

Prior to meeting we were informed (at initial meeting) of their fees, t&cs etc so we were up to date on this. DH wanted to see paperwork first before we signed to them (even though we had nominated them on the phone). Worth mentioning that house/mortgage is in DH name, but living together 9 years, married 4 with 2 kids.

Today the EA came round with paperwork to sign, take measurements and do pictures. The paperwork set out exactly what we already knew and agreed to over the phone so I signed it on our behalf. DH is pissed off because I've gone against him and our original decision to look at paperwork together. I explained that if was the same so I made a decision and signed it so we could get the house up for sale ASAP. He's still not happy and is now being grumpy. So was I unreasonable to make an informed decision and sign as it was what we knew and agreed to?!!!

OP posts:
Strumpetron · 28/10/2013 17:40

Well I would have found his reaction a sign that he doesn't trust me to read the paperwork from the EA and evaluate whether it was OK or not

Why Confused it's his house too, he has every right to want to re read it himself.

diddl · 28/10/2013 17:54

But why would he need to?

Original poster
spacegirl81 · 28/10/2013 17:58

Naive women - that's it! We had verbally agreed it with EA, spoken about it with each other and agreed. If there was new information, I would, of course waited. But it was exactly the same. And just to be clear it was the t&cs.

So fixed fee price (which I negotiated at a reduced price)
EPC (which I got for free)
Length of time it would be on the market
Cancellation time
And that we couldn't go with another EA.

That was it!

OP posts:
themaltesefalcon · 28/10/2013 18:03

Well, he needn't be bothered. Since you don't own the home, the agreement won't bind him anyway.

If you were my spouse, I'd be livid.

Can't you understand a simple request?

Original poster
spacegirl81 · 28/10/2013 18:12

No need for insults falcon.

OP posts:
FunkyFucker · 28/10/2013 18:13

I'm with him to be honest, always always get another person to read the paperwork before signing.

CreamyCooler · 28/10/2013 18:17

YABU, not because of the name on the deed thing but because your DH wanted to look at the paperwork before anything was signed. I'm sure you would be pissed if if it the other way round.

Topseyt · 28/10/2013 18:22

I would have at least phoned him first to check he was OK with it before signing, to be honest.

With something as major as a house sale then all action should be joint, as there is just too much at stake on both sides.

I am not sure how the agent can get you to sign the forms putting the house on the market when it isn't yours to sell, though I am sure they will give you any old story saying they can. Not sure it would hold water once it got to the stage of solicitors becoming involved though.

Original poster
spacegirl81 · 28/10/2013 18:31

Ok I should of waited.

But what was there to check when the details were the same as what we both went through at the same time with the EA?

Paperwork says on behalf of vendor. That's where I signed.

OP posts:
musicmadness · 28/10/2013 18:32

YABU. I'd be really angry if I'd explicitly said that I wanted to read the paperwork first and then my partner signed on my behalf before I had the chance to. Even if it was identical to what you'd agreed to before, there was no reason not to wait until tonight so he could have read through it as well. One night would make no difference.

musicmadness · 28/10/2013 18:35

cross posted there, but some people (myself included), always want to check paperwork themselves, it's not to do with not trusting someone, it's to make sure everything is crystal clear in your own head and besides anything else it's always a good idea to have 2 people read the paperwork rather than just one, even if you personally haven't it's amazing how often one person can miss something important that the other person can then pick up. I've done it before and so have most people I know at some point (Might be why I'm so uptight about triple checking everything myself now!).

NewtRipley · 28/10/2013 18:38

If he asked you to wait, why didn't you?

If he didn't listen to you and went back on something you'd agreed, you'd be annoyed, wouldn't you?

Hopefully you'll apologise and he'll stop being grumpy

NewtRipley · 28/10/2013 18:40

I wouldn't rust anything an EA says, either, but that's just me ...

NewtRipley · 28/10/2013 18:40

trust, not rust

littlegem12 · 28/10/2013 18:46

It's not that big a deal, Estate agent contracts are usually 12 weeks max its not like you signed to say they will be your only agent ever and agreed a sale price.

themaltesefalcon · 28/10/2013 18:53

I did not insult you, but I shall retire from the thread, as you appear to have problems with English comprehension that go far beyond what you set out in your OP.

Original poster
spacegirl81 · 28/10/2013 18:54

Exactly little gem Grin

Happy retirement falcon Grin

OP posts:
WooWooOwl · 28/10/2013 18:59

You agreed to look at the paperwork together, you pissed all over that agreement, and now you think your husband is the one that's unreasonable?

Strumpetron · 28/10/2013 19:00

12 weeks is still a long time.

Fact of the matter is you went behind his back. I'd flip. If this topic was about a man who'd signed despite his wife's requests there'd be all sorts of posts about how he's trying to control her and undermine her Hmm

All sounds a bit childish to me. I wouldn't be selling an buying a house with someone who couldn't do one simple thing.

PurpleRayne · 28/10/2013 19:00

But you are not the vendor.

Original poster
spacegirl81 · 28/10/2013 19:03

I've hardly sold the house behind his back. He was aware of all the facts on the paperwork as we has talked about them. If it of been the other way round I would have been happy for him to make that decision given that we had talked about it previously and nothing was different.

OP posts:
AllThatGlistens · 28/10/2013 19:06

But it isn't the other way around, you aren't the vendor and your DH isn't happy about it Confused

Strumpetron · 28/10/2013 19:07

BUT HE WANTED TO SEE THEM AGAIN.

It's that bloody simple. He TOLD you he wanted to see them again. Whatever his reasons (most sensible people re-read contacts) you should have respected them. 1. Because it's his legally and 2. You're his partner and should want to respect his wishes.

You can keep repeating the same excuses but your reasoning sounds incredible immature.

Original poster
spacegirl81 · 28/10/2013 19:07

It's my house too, all be it not on paper. I am one half of a vendor.

OP posts:
Strumpetron · 28/10/2013 19:09

If it's not your house on paper it's not your house technically though is it? Correct me if I'm wrong?

That isn't the issue though. The issue is, even if it's both yours, you didn't have the right to just also that.

Anyway it's done now, hopefully he can forgive you and you'll sell up quick.