To want friends to be in same postition as me for my own selfish reasons

[SPsTombRaidingWithCliff]

I know I am been unreasonable and all that but I'm still going to moan here and I expect you all yo agree with me and ignore the unreasonableness of it

I have been intouch with friends to see if anyone fancies going for a pub lunch.

I'm alone every Sunday as the toddler is at his dads. I'm bored and hungry and I haven't seen friends in weeks and some in months.

All the texts and calls have said roughly the same thing and the others ignored.

'Im with the boyfriend/husband, if he goes out later I will meet you'

'Im spending it with partner'

'We can do something next week as with fella today'

So AIBU to want all friends single? Even the ones with kids? I managed to see them while in a relationship and with a baby.

All I want is a couple of hours of their time in weeks/months. I'm the only single mother with a toddler. They are either in relationships, married or have babies but still with partner.

They only have time for me if their partners are out doing something. The plans to do something next week never happen but yet I'm the first person they call upon when they have problems.

I wish I could clone myself.

Just looked at your profile SP. Crikey I'm a dinosaur in comparison. Maybe we should find the meet ups together - they're more likely to want to skin you than me - phew

The toddler is 2003 though I don't know how to change it.

MN local is shit imo. Hardly anyone uses it

Haha, yes I did notice but just thought it was a MN way of saying when he was born

I'd love to go for a pub lunch with you! Shame you don't live in the southern US.

I'm in a relationship and we both see friends. So me and dp will do something with our single friend. And my couple friends I will see without dp. Ask if you can do something with both if them? I'm assuming you like your friends partners?

If I set off walking now I should be with you in a few years all

So, Thants, you never spend time just you and your friend?

Someone said I was being unfair upthread. I only wish I were.

Thants I dont get invited when its the pair of them. I also would rather not be a spare wheel. Sometimes I just want to see a friend and have a chat.

2 hours of their time for lunch isn't much

To be honest your friends sound like dicks, they wont meet you if your son is there? What the fuck is that about? I would take offence to that tbh

I don't take offence. They don't have kids

SP - when I was a single parent, the same thing happened to me. One "friend" rang me on a Sunday afternoon and asked me over with my toddler and when I accepted, said "oh good, I had no one else to ask and I was feeling lonely, you are the only person I know who could come....". I stupidly went and told myself that never again will I be treated like that by a so called friend.

Sundays are really, really miserable if you are a single parent and don't have family nearby etc. Can you change your days so sometimes your ex has your toddler say on a Saturday instead?

By the way, YANBU, your friends sound selfish and they are really not thinking about you! They could even invite you round to theirs for lunch or tea as you are on your own. Don't let it get you down, you are not alone, this happens a lot, maybe find some different friends to add to the ones you have already, then you won't depend on them or let them upset you in this way.

Sunday is his only guaranteed day off that's why he goes Saturday as he gets a day with him all Sunday then

And plus what is the best night to be free? A Saturday night but just not in my case

Your friends suck balls. I'm married but happy to leave my DH to see my mates at the weekend.

'it does seem compulsory for couples to refuse to see single friends at the weekend.'

Not true! I have a partner but either/both of us frequently meet up with single friends at weekends. Daytimes and evenings.

The OP's friends are shits but please don't tar all people in couples with the same brush

OP, stop agreeing to meet up with them when they come to you with problems. If they can't find the time for you, fuck em.

The phrases "as a family" and "family time" make me feel sick. Clearly your "friends" are the pathetic sort of women who don't dare let their "other half" out of their sight lest they run off with someone more interesting. Could you perhaps shag one of their husbands? (only partly joking)

holla Their partners do do things alone. It them that wont do anything without partners unless he has planned something without them.

If I'd read this before lunchtime I would have gone for a pub lunch with you, I'm in Leeds and have spent the day cleaning the house, pub lunch sounds far more fun!

I'm also a single parent in Leeds, we should go take advantage of the pubs offers!

There's 3 pubs in one area near me. The pub offers are great.

one pub does 2 for 1 and children eat for £1 on Tuesday.

www.netmums.com/leeds/local/index/support-groups/single-parents

This any use to you!!!!!!!!!!

It was the first thing that popped up when I typed in single parent in Leeds

www.netmums.com/leeds/local/index/support-groups/single-parents

Thanks Trish.

It seems to be citizen advice and volunteer work with families though

Yes, sorry. Didnt have a long read of it.

I asked the toddler if he wants to go to the pub tomorrow.

His reply?

'I guess, do I have to?'

Well yes, yes you do