to not want to take 2 single duvets with me when I visit SIL?

[cardamomginger]

I'm visiting DH's family abroad in December and taking DD (age 3) with me. SIL has asked me to pack 2 single duvets in my luggage. I'm not that keen on the idea, but am prepared to be told that IABU.

My reasons for not wanting to do it are:
they will take up a lot of room, even if I vaccum pack;
we're flying Sleezyjet, who are fascists about luggage allowance, so no way can I go over limit;
I'm already taking over large amounts of chocolate, clothes for SIL, toiletries and some tupperware, so it's not like I'm not doing my bit already;
I've had serious injury and major surgery in the not too distant past and am still a bit wary of lifting too much, so I'd like to attempt to travel as light as possible.

DH thinks she's bonkers. But I'm feeling guilty. IABU if I say no?

If DH thinks she is bonkers, let him tell her 'NO'.

are there no nearer Amazon sites , like amazon.de , who deliver in their country or Ikea . I thought initially they were for you use not just ship on her behalf .

themaltesefalcon -- duvets themselves, up to 3.5 kilos depending on tog value @ £7/kilo extra weight (so say £28), plus "extra bag" charge (£25, assuming they can both fit into one bag), plus cost of the actual bag(s) (???). So around £65 or up, plus hassle for OP of managing extra bulk of luggage when travelling on her own with small child and a bad back. SIL, who gets extra baggage allowance, can do it herself at no charge next time she's over (if it were that important then she wouldn't have forgotten two months go when she was in the UK herself).

I would be tempted to not mention it and just "forget" the damn duvets.

Duvets are rare and expensive here in the states. I asked my mum and sister if they could bring one, but they said no. Fair enough... But I can't justify the $150 duvet then $100 for a cover here. I really miss a good duvet.

YANBU but I'd prob take sleeping bags or duvets from Primark and leave them there for 'next time'!?

Oh - and mention that you'll need to leave the chocolate, etc. at home. "Too heavy. Sorry!"

Could you take one at a time? One now, one next time someone does the trip? I know it is for two boys but could she manage to get them in installments?

But even with you and your DD you actually have to pay for each bag of checked baggage, do you not? I wouldn't want to be dealing with 2 x 20kg bags with a pre-schooler and in recovery from an injury.

Your refusal is wholly reasonable - hopefully she will realise that when she sees you arrive with your luggage and everything of hers you have crammed in.

I have taken new feather pillows long haul to MILS, ones that packed tightly into a vacuum packed roll. But I could easily fit them into my regular luggage as able to travel light for myself. We take all sorts to MILs - tin opener, corkscrew, cafitiere, a cooler bag, cheese footballs, Jaffa cakes...

Duvets are rare and expensive here in the states

Seriously?

Duvets are readily available in the US in IKEA, just as they are everywhere IKEA is.
I wouldn't take any for the SIL, if she wants John Lewis ones then she should mail order them. Or pay for the suitcase that they will fit in.

They have Ikea where she is. I think it's an expat John Lewis thing.

"Having lived overseas and flown sleazyjet many times paying for an extra bag makes NO difference to your baggage weight allowance."

I also live outside the UK and have flown with sleezyjet far too many times, and would like to point out that you can book extra weight easily enough online in advance. It's not cheap, but much cheaper than doing it at the airport. Last year I took 35 kilos spread over two large cases, just for me - can't remember how much extra I paid.

However, the fact that you can do it does not mean it's advisable - carting 35 kilos around and just getting to the airport on public transport was an absolute nightmare. So I'm glad your SIL seems to have seen sense and reconsidered. Either she pays the fee for getting it forwarded or she forgets the whole thing. Or waits until she's next in the UK and can do it herself.

I have asked visitors to bring over small things in the past - a single book in pre-Amazon days, teabags, gravy granules, that sort of thing. But two duvets (or even one) is well beyond the pale.

"what is the strangest thing you have taken overseas?"

The weirdest thing we've ever transported in hand luggage was human ashes. We had the appropriate documentation from the undertaker, but when the security guy asked at the airport and we told him what the container was, he hastily made the sign of the cross (this was in Ireland) and 'sure, you're OK now, no need to check that any further'. We seem to have inadvertently found a way of smuggling powder-like substances out of Catholic countries .

This has been enlightening reading - you can't get duvets in my country either and I was considering asking MIL to bring a single one at Christmas. Hmm.

And no postal system where I live either! We rely on the kindness of visitors a LOT.

MrTumble - I would take a vacuum packed duvet if I was able to travel light otherwise and did not ahv a 3 yo to contend with single handed. But people travelling at mas tend to have presents, bulky, heavy winter clothing, changes of 'best' clothing...

When we come home form MILs numerous people in the check-in queue beg us to take rice cookers through as they already have towering piles of extra luggage and everyone need to take a newly boxed up electric rice cooker to the UK, of course....

MrKnickers - sorry . If I wasn't taking DD, I hadn't had the injury/surgery thing, and I could organise an extra bag (even if no extra weight) without too much problem, then I might be up for bringing ONE single duvet with me.

Especially if there were absolutely no duvets, no reliable postal system in that country and SIL didn't get 32 kilos every time she flew and had just 'forgotten' to buy them when she was over in August.

So, for you it might not be that unreasonable . MIL might be up for it!

And no postal system where I live either!

Your choice, presumably.

Could you suggest to her to get an Aramex Shop and Ship account. It would depend where they are living as to whether they operate in her country. We live overseas and its really handy.
Basically you pay a lifetime fee of around £30 and you get a UK, US and Chinese PO Box address. She then orders from her store of choice and it is delivered to her PO Box. Aramex then courier the package to her and she pays about £8 per half kilo. Charge is paid in cash to courier on delivery.

Very useful when living in a country that amazon don't deliver to.

Your choice, presumably.

Yes, and I'm not complaining, I love where I live.

I will ask, you never know! Maybe I'll ask her to bring a duvet instead of DH's marmite!

I've travelled with my wedding dress too! DH is from New Zealand and most of his family couldn't come to our wedding, so a few months after it, we took the wedding to them! It's not stress-free, is it??!!

Strangest thing we've brought back from overseas: a George Forman grill. MIL owns a kitchen shop and every time we visit, the day before we return home, she goes into a 'helpful' frenzy and raids her shop for things we might need. Cookie cutters, cute plastic plates for DD, measuring spoons, and the grill. I have learnt never to so much at glance at anything in the shop as I will inevitably be presented with it to bring home. And this time we also had a child's deckchair for DD to pack - we went camping with her cousins and they all had deckchairs so they bought her one. Which was lovely, but we had to fly home with it...and the bodyboard...and the books...