Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not want to take 2 single duvets with me when I visit SIL?

146 replies

cardamomginger · 26/10/2013 21:34

I'm visiting DH's family abroad in December and taking DD (age 3) with me. SIL has asked me to pack 2 single duvets in my luggage. I'm not that keen on the idea, but am prepared to be told that IABU.

My reasons for not wanting to do it are:
they will take up a lot of room, even if I vaccum pack;
we're flying Sleezyjet, who are fascists about luggage allowance, so no way can I go over limit;
I'm already taking over large amounts of chocolate, clothes for SIL, toiletries and some tupperware, so it's not like I'm not doing my bit already;
I've had serious injury and major surgery in the not too distant past and am still a bit wary of lifting too much, so I'd like to attempt to travel as light as possible.

DH thinks she's bonkers. But I'm feeling guilty. IABU if I say no?

OP posts:
Roshbegosh · 27/10/2013 02:44

I agree she should pay for you to bring an extra case. It's the only way you can do it. You will be lucky to pack a toothbrush for yourself otherwise. Make sure she does the order by click and collect at JL so they don't end up being wrong size or filling or something and then you are left dealing with exchange or refund. It also means she will pay when she orders them so no money drama later.

LoopaDaLoopa · 27/10/2013 02:48

Am non deliver anything anywhere apart from where there are customs restriction, eg. I live in Malaysia and they don't ship toys here.

Roshbegosh · 27/10/2013 02:48

Just reading something else in this thread and if you are sure you can get trolleys or help with the luggage then fine, otherwise don't consider wrecking your health. Isn't this supposed to be a holiday for you? Go somewhere else next time.

Cerisier · 27/10/2013 03:05

I frequently order from John Lewis and the postage is usually about GBP30. If it is something they won't send abroad then I use forwardtome who then repack the item and send it on to me. The postage works out about the same as I get free UK delivery to the forwardtome warehouse.

I wouldn't dream of asking visitors to bring more than a couple of pairs of trousers with them. It is very off of SIL to be so demanding.

Caitlin17 · 27/10/2013 04:18

Sorry, but what exactly is your problem?. Are you really going somewhere where it's ok impossible to buy 2 single duvets or sleeping bags? Either cough up and pay the extra baggage allowance or buy them when you arrive.

What is so difficult about either option?

gingerbreadshoes · 27/10/2013 04:22

Caitlin17 it is the SIL who wants the duvets not the op. SIL wants them brought over for her sons as they are much more expensive where she lives.

FelixCited · 27/10/2013 04:27

Just tell her the truth,
everything you have said here about your health & travelling alone with child.
She can't be that unreasonable surely!

Caitlin17 · 27/10/2013 04:28

And why is that a problem if ,OP is visiting? It's not as if single duvets are expensive.

Roshbegosh · 27/10/2013 04:31

Because they will fill her luggage and be a nuisance to carry around. Read the thread ffs.

littlewhitebag · 27/10/2013 07:03

Two duvets will take up a massive amount of space and are surprisingly heavy. It is a ridiculous request.

paxtecum · 27/10/2013 07:28

Caitlin: Read ALL the thread.
OP has had major surgery and will struggle with her own luggage.

She cannot risk giving herself an injury by lugging extra bags around.

Even if SIL meets her at the airport she will still have to lift the cases off the carousel.

OP: SIL is being VU.

TEErickOrTEEreat · 27/10/2013 07:34

And let's all thank Caitlin for a classic example of 'didn't read the thread and looking really very silly because of it'.

EricLovesAnyFucker · 27/10/2013 07:35

Caitlin
Rtft

olivo · 27/10/2013 07:38

I get things delivered to my mum or dad, and do they post them onto me, I pay them back for the postage. Could you do that? You are being very nice taking all the other things ( and this has made me appreciate more what arrives for us when relatives visit Smile) she is being a pain!

YouStayClassySanDiego · 27/10/2013 07:55

Tell her how difficult and inconvenient it will be, you won't be able to bring them!

Without major surgery it would still be a bugger to transport bloody duvets on a flight with a child and no other help.

Ignore herany guilt loading comments and stand your ground.

Good luck and don't be cowed by her.

friday16 · 27/10/2013 08:02

I live abroad and do ask my relatives to bring stuff over, I order and pay on line and get them delivered to their houses.

Why can't you order and pay on-line and get it delivered to your house?

In the OP's case, I would love to hear where the country is to which (a) Easyjet flies and (b) Amazon don't deliver.

QuintsHollow · 27/10/2013 08:04

Will you stay in a hotel or is your sil hosting and feeding you?

I usually bring as much as I can when visiting.

Maybe you should let yourself recover more after your surgery before flying out to visit ?

friday16 · 27/10/2013 08:04

There is no Amazon New Zealand.

There is no Easyjet service to New Zealand, either.

SanityFucker · 27/10/2013 08:05

"I can't bring them with me, as I am still too weak after my surgery. I can order them from JL, and courier them to you. The total cost will be £x for the duvets and £y for the p&p. Let me know if you want me to go ahead with that. We can settle up when I get there."

JGBMum · 27/10/2013 08:07

How much would it visit to oust the duvets you to her once they are delivered to your house? sIL surely couldn't object yak kayaking the postage.

SanityFucker · 27/10/2013 08:09

friday16, the OP didn't say Amazon don't deliver - she said maybe SIL would baulk at the charges.

Why are you trying to pick holes? If you think she's lying, just report her to MNHQ.

QuintsHollow · 27/10/2013 08:11

Not sure that amazon will deliver for John Lewis or m&s though.

Some countries are also notoriously difficult about goods ordered abroad. Every order we placed with uk companies required us to go in person go the customs office to fill in shed loads of paperwork, bring proof of identity, proof of address, as well as pay vat calculated on the amount of the order, as well as import duty. Vat, duty and insane postage fees made any item really expensive.

friday16 · 27/10/2013 08:12

Sanity, the OP wrote "No Amazon delivery to this country (not Europe)." I read "No amazon delivery to this country" to mean "no amazon delivery to this country", but maybe that's just me.

JGBMum · 27/10/2013 08:13

Flipping ipad autocorrect!

Try again, duvets delivered to your house, you post them on, SIL pays postage

ZenNudist · 27/10/2013 08:13

Say no to duvets. I'd tell her it's not going to save her significant amounts by the time she's paid the additional luggage charges. If she's willing to pay luggage charges (inc any extra weight for bigger/extra case and cost of the luggage scales you are going to have to buy to weigh all her shit to check it fits the allowance) then by all means say yes... If it means bring extra cases (& she is willing to pay the c£70 it costs to take case to and from hers) you could still say no as its enough to get the family & their luggage there without adding cases!