I gave my friend armfuls of clothes as she had started a new job and had nothing smart to wear

[redrubyshoes]

She was made redundant and it took nearly a year for her to find a new job. Her new position needed her to look smart and I let her raid my wardrobe for suitable clothes and shoes.

The clothes she took with my blessing were LK Bennett, Mulberry, Hobbs etc and I wished her well in her new job.

She told me yesterday she had sold the lot on Ebay for £500+

I gave her the clothes to WEAR not flog. I was made redundant earlier this year and I know how it feels but found work quite quickly (with a massive pay cut).

Ermmm I could have sold them! AIBU? Should I ask for 50% of the sale?

She is not a friend....

I think it's important that these clothes weren't 'cast offs' that you were giving away or sell in any case, but ones that you would have wanted to keep if you hadn't been doing her a favour. To me, that does attach strings to the gift slightly - the same way that if someone gives you money as a wedding gift, it's a bit to spend it down at the pub or even on your grocery shop (unless you are genuinely struggling for groceries!).

One thing that might make you feel better, could it be that some of the clothes didn't fit, so she saw the sale as contributing to her new job by getting the cash for other clothes, train tickets etc? The fact that she happily told you about the money does make it sound like there is a misunderstanding and she is is very grateful for your help.

Hope you can repair the friendship.

What did you say when she told you how much they went for? (has anyone asked that yet? )

You lent them for a specific reason, she knew that but decided she'd prefer the cash, cheeky fuck doesn't really sum it up.

OP said she gave them to her a month ago Matryoshka.

I'd tell her that you're really upset because you hadn't intended to give them away permanently, you'd just lent them to her.

I imagine she'll feel sick when she realises her mistake and offer you a share of the profits.

how awful

she should have been upfront and just asked you to give her 500 quid

i would be v upset about this

Is ask for ALL of the money! Unbelievable

YANBU, what a cheek!

She has taken the piss. Big Time. on your behalf

Did you want the clothes back once she had finished with them? If so then she should give you all the money.

Did you make it clear you wanted them back?

If she sold them within a month then that would have been her plan all along. She knew what she was doing.

I too audibly gasped when reading your opening message, redruby. Didn't see that coming.

It is one thing to have a bag of stuff you want to get rid of and you pass it on to your friend to use for her job. It is quite another to let her search you wardrobe (which contains stuff you might wear again one day in it) for suitable clothing for her new job, and she then sells it virtually immediately on Ebay. Shows a lack of respect for you.

It is sad really, because she has undoubtedly lost a very good friendship with you now (how can you trust her again?) for £500.

She should give you all the money, it's only been a month.

Your friend sounds a right shite hawk.

YANBU. She should have returned the clothes or given them to charity or someone else who needs them. If someone does you a favour, you pay it forward, not take advantage.

I have had a very long think over this. Yes I am hurt that she made money out of my 'generosity' if you like (I am not by any means wealthy) and I am looking back at a friendship that has been close for many years. She has picked me up off the floor when I was at my lowest ebb and I have done the same for her.

She has been through a very tough time with family bereavements, redundancy, ill mother etc but so have I. She has been there for me as I have for her.

Would I have leant/given her £500 if she was strapped for cash? I don't know as it would have left me short, but possibly yes.

I have learnt a valuable lesson and yes they were only clothes that were hanging in my wardrobe versus years of a 'good' solid foul weather friend?

Still a bit meh though...........................

Thank you for all your comments and thoughts, I really, really appreciate it!

I will see her this weekend and lock the fecking wardrobe!

A mint condition Mulberry waistcoat made £85. I bought it in 1990.

Are you sure she sold them on eBay?

No Mulberry waistcoat sold since August has sold for more than £26 on eBay.

Are you going to say anything to her?

Hmmm If she only had them a month she may not have even worn all of it. So to sell them and then tell you about it..

I'd think she was being a massive dick

If she is a good friend then you should tell her how you feel.

Hallow

Good point I haven't even checked ebay. She told me she sold the stuff on there but there is a shop near her that also buys second hand designer clothes................would they buy a Mulberry waistcoat at that price though?

On the other hand......spilt milk and all that. I am dragging it all up again.