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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think that some parents just don't care?

162 replies

SarahAJ · 23/10/2013 19:06

Firstly, I know it sounds bad to judge other parents but just as a GENERAL impression of what other parents reckon.The situation is thus.....My DD (reception) is due to start the Read, Write, Inc programme at school. As such, the teachers arranged a great meeting/presentation to help the parents understand the system and show how they can help their children learn to read/write/spell. It was only 45 minutes, starting after drop-off. Out of 50 pupils, less than twenty parents turned up. Its not the first meeting that hardly anyone has attended (we have been to them ALL)and I find it disrespectful to the teachers and quite disgusted that some parents just don't bother.Before anyone mentions the "some parents have to work..... " stuff at me, I fully understand this as both myself and DP work but isn't your childs education important enough to get half a morning off?! My biggest priority right now is my DD's early education. Rant over. Don't get your knickers in a twist too much. Its just a general thing I was wondering. Ta muchly.

OP posts:
Heartbrokenmum73 · 23/10/2013 19:07

Not everyone CAN get time off though. You can't really comment on everyone else's situation because you don't know their situation.

YABU.

hazeyjane · 23/10/2013 19:08

There are a myriad of reasons why parents won't be able to go to any number of things like this at school.

I don't really think it is any of your business.

Sirzy · 23/10/2013 19:09

Given how many probably have older siblings so already know how these things work I don't think 20 out of 50 is bad really.

KatieScarlett2833 · 23/10/2013 19:09

Because parents have jobs that don't allow them to attend anything other than domestic emergencies?

PotteringAlong · 23/10/2013 19:09

I'm a teacher. As is my DH. What would you like us to do?

Yabu

pixiepotter · 23/10/2013 19:10

People have
1)jobs to go to
2) Have older children they have already taught to read and don't feel it necessary.
I wouldn't turnm up for both of the above reasons.

MurderOfBanshees · 23/10/2013 19:10

If you can only get limited amounts of time off surely the sensible thing is to save it for when your children need you?

Sirzy · 23/10/2013 19:10

I also think for things like that generally after school/early evening is going to be better for a lot of working parents. Or offering more than one session (both of which I know are more of a hassle for the poor teaching staff)

AngelsLieToKeepControl · 23/10/2013 19:10

I don't go to any of those types of things for my dds because I attended them all with ds and I don't need to, I imagine a lot of other people would be the same.

MrsDavidBowie · 23/10/2013 19:11

As others have said.

However, yes, there are some parents who just don't care.

HandMini · 23/10/2013 19:11

YABU. Was the session held during "normal" working hours? If parental attendance is vital, school needs to hold the session outside usual working hours. There are so many reasons in the school calendar for a half day off work here or there that its not possible to do them all. A session before morning school might have been more thoughtful to more working parents.

ChoudeBruxelles · 23/10/2013 19:11

People work, have other children to look after, are ill, have other responsibilities, have older children so have already done that with them and don't feel they need to do it again. What does it matter to you?

fieldfare · 23/10/2013 19:11

Yabu and a bit sanctimonious. You have no idea of their commitments.

sturdyoak · 23/10/2013 19:12

Maybe a combination of other children / babies to look after or even elderly relatives and work. Not everybody has jobs where they can take time off. Maybe some of the parents are actually teachers. Maybe they know what it is all about anyway.

Yes, I agree with your first statement, it does sound bad to judge other parents. I don't think this is really worthy of disgust, save that for something much worse otherwise you will spend your life disgusted. Unless you actually enjoy being ranty and disgusted. Grin.

17leftfeet · 23/10/2013 19:12

They may have other children

There is no way I could get a morning off without 4 weeks notice

They may have caring responsibilities for a parent

They may have a meeting at the job centre, a dentist appointment booked 6 weeks in advance

You don't know and actually it's none of your business -just concentrate on your own children!

Howsuper · 23/10/2013 19:13

What a tolerant, empathic and open minded person you sound, OP.

As everyone else has said there are tons of reasons parents have for not being at a school event during the day.

I work FT. I go to pretty much every assembly, Christmas play, sports match and parents meeting (plus time off for inset days, teachers' strikes, sick kids) etc but any 'extras' I simply can't do.

NynaevesSister · 23/10/2013 19:13

Wow I would have thought close to half was an excellent result given the problems people have with child care and work. I have never been to a meeting at school for parents that got such a good result.

HesterShaw · 23/10/2013 19:14

You're right - some parents don't care.

But your example is not definitive proof of it.

AnaisHellWitch · 23/10/2013 19:14

I'm a former teacher. I would consider it a waste of time as I am perfectly able to Google it. DS could read before starting school anyway.

LEMisdisappointed · 23/10/2013 19:14

Biscuit YABU it will all change by next year anyway! and you will have gotten over yourself by then.

IHatePingu · 23/10/2013 19:16

www.ruthmiskintraining.com/teacher-support/60/index.html

About 5 seconds googling brings up the presentation they are probably using.

hettienne · 23/10/2013 19:16

20 sounds a pretty good turn out to me.

nocheeseplease · 23/10/2013 19:16

I've missed these as well because between us me and dh have 8 weeks holiday a year (4 weeks each) and the kids have 13 weeks off school a year. We use our holidays to cover as much of the half terms as we can so don't have any extra days to use for this sort of thing.

NoIHaventHadTheBabyYet · 23/10/2013 19:16

I cant always ask someone to babysit for my other children. I could bring all the little ones but I am sure you would all have a headache and it would just not be fair on anyone.
So I cant go.
Good to know I am being judged.

SarahAJ · 23/10/2013 19:17

For the record, I work (as I mentioned) and have another child DD3

It was just a general question to gauge opinion. Clearly I was wrong.

Apologies.

And I don't expect the teachers to "do" anything PotteringAlong. I don't believe I ever suggested anything of the sort. Teachers do an amazing and difficult job and should be respected in every way.

OP posts: