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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think that some parents just don't care?

162 replies

SarahAJ · 23/10/2013 19:06

Firstly, I know it sounds bad to judge other parents but just as a GENERAL impression of what other parents reckon.The situation is thus.....My DD (reception) is due to start the Read, Write, Inc programme at school. As such, the teachers arranged a great meeting/presentation to help the parents understand the system and show how they can help their children learn to read/write/spell. It was only 45 minutes, starting after drop-off. Out of 50 pupils, less than twenty parents turned up. Its not the first meeting that hardly anyone has attended (we have been to them ALL)and I find it disrespectful to the teachers and quite disgusted that some parents just don't bother.Before anyone mentions the "some parents have to work..... " stuff at me, I fully understand this as both myself and DP work but isn't your childs education important enough to get half a morning off?! My biggest priority right now is my DD's early education. Rant over. Don't get your knickers in a twist too much. Its just a general thing I was wondering. Ta muchly.

OP posts:
3asAbird · 23/10/2013 19:17

ours does meetngs after school some whole school primary 130kids in total.

some ks1 and ks2.

There have been a couple hubby attended they were at 6pm after work as i have 2younger kids, not allowed to take even school age child with me, no family about to babysit so parents evenings its just 1 of us not because we dont care.

Another factor is I walk 1.2miles each way and weathers been rubbish and getting darl early so could be lots of valid reasons.

maybe more vital for a pfb.

at last ks2 meeting 80 ks2 about 20-30were there.

most stuffs on newsletters or website.

LindyHemming · 23/10/2013 19:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AlexaChelsea · 23/10/2013 19:17

YABU and totally sanctimonious and judgemental.

Don't dare suggest that I don't care about my children because I can't get a morning off work. Not all jobs are flexible like that.

IHatePingu · 23/10/2013 19:17

And this being mumsnet, there are probably a few free readers anyway.

movingaway · 23/10/2013 19:18

20 out of 50 is pretty good! It's the kind of thing people only go to for their first child. I'm a TA so I haven't been to any of these things, I can't take rhe time off and I don't feel it would teach me anyrhing new anyway.

DevilsRoulette · 23/10/2013 19:18

You think that everyone who works can just 'get half a morning off'?

Many people have employers who would not allow this.

Many people have jobs where this would not be possible.

You are fortunate if you have a job where you can 'just' get half a morning off. All casual, like. ack, it's just half a morning off.

I didn't go to lots of stuff. I have 2 kids born 15 months apart. I really didn't need to go to something explaining something that I'd already had explained to me. I wonder if the parents in my second born's year judged me. Grin So maybe some of them have an older child and already know this stuff.

lyndie · 23/10/2013 19:18

Our school never gives more than a weeks notice for most events so it doesn't surprise me that people can't attend! If I can't go to something important like a curriculum meeting then I would arrange to meet with the teacher another time. I'm sure plenty of those that 'didn't turn up' would have made other arrangements to get up to speed and you wouldn't have seen them doing that!

YellowTulips · 23/10/2013 19:18

YABU and frankly coming across as smug and sanctimonious.

There are a lot of reasons (very reasonable) why some parents couldn't or chose not to attend. That doesn't add up to not giving a shit.

Equally attending this event doesn't automatically make you a great parent - even murderers can attend church on a Sunday.

Would urge you to be less bloody judgmental tbh - here have a Biscuit

mamaduckbone · 23/10/2013 19:19

Yabu. I am a teacher. I care very much about my children but I simply cannot take time off in the school day. Please don't judge.

dontsufferfools · 23/10/2013 19:19

I didn't go to the one my school organised. I was at work and didn't particularly want to take the time off.

My children's education is important to me but I am quite able to read the paperwork they sent me as a non attendee.

What more did you learn by attending the non compulsory event than I did reading the paperwork that followed?

.

AlexaChelsea · 23/10/2013 19:19

I think pottering was making the point that her and her DH can't get time off as they are teachers.

Glad you realise how wrong you are though.

Please do stop being so judgey.

Mamafratelli · 23/10/2013 19:19

I didn't go because my dd could read before she started reception, her dad is a headteacher and my ds was poorly. I do go to 90% of stuff. Don't forget lots of the children won't be pfbs so the parents may have been before.

chocolatecrispies · 23/10/2013 19:19

Given that the Early years are meant to be about learning through play I would probably not go on principle - because I care too much about my child's early education to want to be pressured into focusing on reading and writing too soon.

Sidge · 23/10/2013 19:19

I need 4-6 weeks notice to switch my working hours, as my clinics are booked that far in advance.

And having 3 children means that I've often been to these sorts of meetings before.

Oh and I prefer to save my annual leave/time owing/shift changes for things that are unmissable such as parents evenings, Christmas concerts, special assemblies and award ceremonies, as well as school closures and school holidays.

When you have more than once child in more than one school you have to be very selective as a working parent regarding which events you prioritise!

Mamafratelli · 23/10/2013 19:19

Only mentioned the dad as headteacher as in - he already knows the schemes of work etc.

overmydeadbody · 23/10/2013 19:20

YABU

20 out of 50 isn't bad anyway.

Just because parents don't show up to a read write inc talk doesn't mean they don't care.

Some parents already know what it is from having older children or even being teachers themselves.

Some parents have to work full time and are capable of googling read write inc, or are confident that they know how to support their child at home and are happy with what the school do with their child during school time.

Only a very tiny minority, if any at all, of the 30 possible sets of parents who didn't turn up are actually uncaring about their child's education.

HandMini · 23/10/2013 19:21

OP, out of interest, what job do you do?

AnaisHellWitch · 23/10/2013 19:21

I judge people who are too lazy to Google. They are the ones jamming up the phone-lines because they prefer to talk to a person to confirm something when I need an answer to something that is not on the fucking website Grin

Canthisonebeused · 23/10/2013 19:21

20 out of 50 is not bad, many of them may have heard the talk last year or the year before with older siblings. Many just simply are not vale to get time off and some may be teachers or educators them selfs so already know the speal

HicDraconis · 23/10/2013 19:21

I am unable to take a morning off for any reason unless booked at least 6 weeks in advance and even then only if there are enough people to cover the roster.

My children could already read and write when they started school so not sure this presentation would have been relevant.

Yes my children's education is hugely important. It's why I don't let them sit around in a mass-produced one-size-fits-the-middle "learning" environment waiting for the rest of the class to finish - they're now home educated (by DH).

I don't judge people who don't home ed - don't judge people who have to work. YABHugelyU suggesting parents don't care.

NutritiousAndDelicious · 23/10/2013 19:21

I cannot take time off to attend school meetings. You are very lucky that you are able too.

Sometimes my mum goes, sometimes XH goes, if they can get time off work.

Tbh I care more about putting a roof over his head and food in his stomach than attending a meeting, when I could read about it in 10 seconds from the letter they always send home.

Mamafratelli · 23/10/2013 19:22

Ha ha just read IHatePingu's post. Dd can read but only through some fluke of nature. We haven't hothoused her she just gets it.

3asAbird · 23/10/2013 19:22

lol I hate pingu re free readers!

Very true also will the school colour code the new books so parents can work out what reading level they on and how advanced they are.

read write seems very commercial and expensive to me from what I have seen.

give me some 1970s ginn and biff and chip any day.

Phonics kind of self explanataory

HavantGuard · 23/10/2013 19:22

If you cared more you'd already have taught her to read and write.

SarahAJ · 23/10/2013 19:23

It was just a general question.

Apologies for offence.

As I pointed out I also work as does DP and I have a DS3.

And PotteringAlong, I don't expect the teachers to DO anything. Teachers do a difficult and amazing job and should be respected.

OP posts:
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